DP bought valentines card for ex but nothing for me

[GrannyMac2018]

Bit of context. Been with dp for 2.5 years. Both have kids of our own , own places, speak daily see each other every couple of weeks but have gone longer. He has kids every weekend mine go to their dads eow and I don't want the kids to always be involved so that's why our 'dating' is spread thin. Had great holidays and breaks away in that time and he's. been a rock when needed.
Previous two years for valentines I've always got a card and some flowers
This year - nothing.
He said it's because when he asked if I was going to see him Tuesday I said no I'm going to the gym... he said yea but it's valentines and I said we never 'do' anything for valentines
However when he had his son at the weekend he took him shopping as his ds wanted to get a valentines card for his mom.? So that means dp stood looking at cards surrounded by all the valentines crap and didn't even think to pick one up for me.
He can't see why I'm annoyed. I think it shows he's thoughtless and he's stopped making an effort .... which is something I've said for months.
AIBU to think a cheap card ( as appreciated in previous years) is too much to bloody ask when he had to pick one up anyway ?

This was always my worry wth him form day one though
I've organised nights out planned trips suggested things
He is very content to slip into watching tv on sofa every night mode ... which is lovely but I want more and he knows this.
I get the impression with his ex he coasted along until she cheated. I don't want him to 'coast' with me.... I want to know it's still there ....

2.5 years in and you rarely see each other so the kids don’t mix, where do you see this relationship going?

@WooWooSister dp's repaonse to me starting to talk about it earlier was
Ok ... I'm not arguing
His usual repaonse anytime I try to evaluate / reflect on an issue and ask him his reasons / viewpoints or explain mine
Last time he put the phone down on me when I said we haven't had a date night in 4 months as that was arguing lol

It sounds more like FWB than an actual relationship. You’ve only been together two years and you don’t sound very happy...time to have a good think about whether this relationship is working or not?

You can't just demand op. You also have to make an effort. I can't imagine complaining to my husband he didn't get me a card if I didn't get him one. I mean cmon. Who would do that

If you're not happy or suited end it. And stop friggen inviting him to thr gym like it's something romantic and special

Aren't you the poster who goes to the gym because she fancies the gym instructor? If so, then maybe it's time to end this relationship. You're looking for stuff to complain about whilst you blow hot and cold, and opt to spend time at the gym rather than with your DP.
You can just end it.You don't need to make your DP the bad guy to justify it.

@QueenNefertitty I don't think you'd appreciate my autobiography to appreciate the full context so sorry if it seems drip drip drip drip to you
Ask a question I'll answer sorry I didn't put it all out there first

@Nicknacky this is what I'm starting to think is best

They do shit but no shitter than others cards in Aldi

If as you say though, BOTH of you have stopped making the effort, why don't you start? If you want to of course.

You're assuming he just cba whereas you have a 'valid' reason, he may well think you just cba, wouldn't you say?

If he means something to you, stick your neck out, if not, just let him go.

Just.... what?!
You didn't want to make plans for today. Didn't get the bloke anything. And are pissed because he's not making enough effort anymore? WTF. You sound v hard work. Or is this a reverse?

His son bought one for his mum, your dp provided the money but it was from the son.

@JustVent this is the unanswered question
He wants it all house together blended family. I've said I cannot see how the heck that would work when we don't have any time for us.

Nup, sorry you’re unreasonable. He hep Ed his son buy a card. When he asked to see you, the gym was a higher priority than him, and you said we never do anything. Man speak, means nothing, don’t buy anything. You don’t have a right to be miffed.

@Bluntness100 I invite him there as that's where I need to be for my own wellbeing / weight loss. It is a priority at the moment same as his football on a Saturday afternoon is to him.
1 hour a week. It could be a walk / swim his response - no.
I invite him to movies / concerts / anything really.... I have a varied social life.
He invites me round his. Very now and then when I say we haven't seen each other for a meal. Every now and then when I say we aren't working / where is it going he'll book a weekend away and we'll have a lovely time for 2 days.

I've said I cannot see how the heck that would work when we don't have any time for us

That and you have a bad case of galloping fanny for thr gym instructor right?

Just end it.

Ridiculous misleading thread title and then you said you’d prefer to go the gym and then you say you didn’t get him a card either ?
YABU

Wow, YABVU!

Galloping fanny

@WooWooSister I don't go to the gym because I fancy the instructor lol
I mentioned he is v cute yea he's a hunk !
But I've been going to the gym for bloody years before he came along
Same way do knows I fancy tom hardy and he loves Kelly Brook ... gym instructor is v cute but if it was anything more I wouldn't be asking do to come with me would I

Granny there’s most nights in the evening he can be at yours.

I know you like to go out and not sit in but him just being at yours is the natural step before living together.

You can’t have it both ways.

@BastardGoDarkly that makes sense. I think I've given up 'sticking my neck out' recently as I'm sick of being told no but yea I need to think if it's worth another shot or not

Well, I dunno op, your other thread seemed much more, shall we say enthusiastic, about this apparent hunk and how motivational you felt this was in your desire to go to the gym

Did you talk to him by the way, with his muscles, tats and piercing blue eyes?

@Bluntness100 yea but I think that has only developed since Do has stopped giving a flying fuck and I've had to repeatedly ask to see him

I miss having a galloping fanny (you do just mean horny, right...?) - mine's dragging its heels.

It doesn't sound like things are working out though OP and that there are communication issues.

@JustVent this is what is always suggested by Friends
But I somehow don't feel comfy conducting my relationships from my living room while my kids are asleep upstairs as I know he'll just settle for that and that's all it will be ....