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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU are be upset I didn’t get the job?

14 replies

Tink2007 · 14/02/2018 17:05

What it says in the title really. I have been looking for a job after being a SAHM for four years. Youngest is off to school in September and I don’t want to be twiddling my thumbs once she’s gone plus I want to be contributing to our family and it not just be my husband (I annoy him with this comment but I want to be making money and have a job).

I found out today I didn’t get it despite the interviewer saying she thought I had interviewed fantastically etc.

I just feel utterly deflated and a failure 😢

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 14/02/2018 17:07

Don't feel too bad about it

You interviewed well so you'll get the next one, keep applying

Oly5 · 14/02/2018 17:07

Oh bless you. The only thing you can do is dust yourself off abd keep applying. Can you ask what the person had that you didn’t? That might help guide you. What was the job? Are there any qualifications you could be doing online to boost your CV?

ClareB83 · 14/02/2018 17:08

Yes a bit. Just keep applying.

MatildaTheCat · 14/02/2018 17:10

Sorry but you have to toughen up. Ds has just got a job after 45 odd applications and at least 5 interviews. They all liked him, or said they did, but another applicant was more suited to the role.

Of course it’s upsetting but it is not personal. Climb back in the saddle and keep going. Don’t get too invested in a job until you’ve signed the contract which is, obviously difficult when you do so much preparation.

Good luck.

norfolkenclue · 14/02/2018 17:11

Why would you be unreasonable to be upset. I'm not understanding your post to be honest. Anyone would be 'upset' not to get the job after an interview, of course they would. But you can't expect to just get the first job you apply for (especially after an extended period of being out of the workforce). It takes time and sometimes a LOT of knock backs. You just have to get on with it. Sorry you're feeling sad, but onwards and upwards hey? I'm not being mean OP, just realistic...job hunting is bloody hard work! Have some wine and log on to the job sites.

WhoAmIReally99 · 14/02/2018 17:12

Use it as a learning experience. Can you ask the interviewer for any feedback?

I went for my 1st interview after been a sahm for 8yrs...didn't get it.
Nor the interview either.
3rd I got a casual zero hour contract.
4th I got 2hrs contract whuch has built up to 25hrs termtime school hours.

Yes it is hard.. buy keep trying and you will get there x

Original poster

Tink2007 · 14/02/2018 17:20

No, no. I need the kick up the arse. In my head I know the experience is good for me, that I wasn’t necessarily going to get the first job I applied for and that eventually the right role will come up for me and I will get it.

It’s that part of me that thinks it was perfect for our life, for me as a person etc that is upset. It’s that stupid self doubt moment of “you just weren’t good enough” and I need to kick that out of the way.

Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:

Paleblue · 14/02/2018 17:32

At least you had a good interview. I went for an interview yesterday. I thought it would be the perfect job for me but I really doubt I have been successful. I was too nervous. There is no way I will have impressed the interviewers

Good luck with your next job application. What about voluntary work while you are looking for a job? It will be some work experience for your CV.

norfolkenclue · 14/02/2018 17:33

You'll get there...it's really dog eat dog out in the world of job hunting right now, but chin up eh? When it's the right fit both sides, you'll be glad this one turned you down 💐

MikeUniformMike · 14/02/2018 17:46

It could be any reason so don't beat yourself up over it. Sometimes the job has already been allocated and the interview is just a formality.
Sometimes there will be another candidate who is a better fit for the role. You might have been the better candidate but another candidate might have some personality trait that made them more suitable.

The main thing is you got an interview and you got positive feedback.

SaskaTchewan · 14/02/2018 17:54

well done for making it to the interview, and then doing great there!
That's an achievement by itself.

don't beat yourself up, there are so many reasons why this wasn't the best job for you: someone with more relevant experience, someone who share the hobby of the future boss, it really could be anything.
Once you have a set of candidates who could do the job, you chose the one who you think will get on better with the team. It doesn't have any reflection on your ability.

Goodadvice1980 · 14/02/2018 18:03

What type of role are you looking for? Perhaps sign up with an agency or a local NHS staff bank for admin work? You could pick hours/days you are free and start out by working flexibly maybe?

Good luck

PostcodeJack · 14/02/2018 18:20

The right role will come along. You got an interview and you got positive feedback which is always a result. It's understandable that you're disappointed though.
Good luck for the next one!

GlitterNails · 14/02/2018 18:20

It's never a nice feeling, sadly.

However I've been on the other side this week and have been interviewing quite a few people for a role, and it's been really difficult choosing.

Lots of people interviewed well, but there was only one role and I did find it difficult turning people down - as you don't want to knock anyone's confidence or make them feel they didn't do well.

So please don't let it stop you. You are not a failure - there are just a lot of people going for each role.

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