To think I’ve really fucked up - not sure what to do

[frostedstrawberries]

After a long period of temporary work and sometimes not getting any work for periods of time, I finally got something permanent in January.

I’ve got a big backlog of debt, though, of things that I hadn’t paid for a while because I couldn’t when I wasn’t working.

So now my take home pay is £2050 after tax NI etc.

But my outgoings are:

Mortgage - £800
Electricity - £200 (it’s so high because I’m repaying a backlog)
Council tax - £100 (I owe money on that too)
Car insurance - £70
Mobile phone - £40
Internet - £40
Petrol costs are sky high due to long commute - £300

So in theory I have about £600 left to play with. But it just vanishes. I have pets eating me out of house and home and I have wondered about possibly finding alternatives for them but I just couldn’t. Every day I have phone calls about debts I didn’t even know I had springing up seemingly out of nowhere. I am well aware I am a complete disorganised mess with it all.

I really, really don’t want to go down the route of a DMP - what are the alternatives? I naively thought all would be OK once I started working, but it’s not.

You could also go on a local exchange site - shower repairs for babysitting? Ironing?

I can't advise on the legal stuff, but, practically speaking, try to make it easy for yourself to engage with this.

1. Set aside some time (ideally a morning, not the end of the day when you're already exhausted), drink a cup of coffee, and sort out all your paperwork so relevant documents are together and you can see your history of communications and payments with everyone. Don't get sucked into worrying about the actual issues yet: be businesslike, like you're just the filing clerk. And be pleased when it's done; resist the inner voice which whines 'oh, you should have done this earlieeer'.

Also, set aside somewhere to temporarily hold incoming post while you deal with it, so you don't end up with a stress-inducing sense of envelopes piling up everywhere.

1. Another morning, go through the filing and make a list of where you stand with each debt: who you're paying, how much you're paying, and when the last communication was. Answer any calls or letters about debt; add these debtors to your list or take appropriate action to challenge them.

1. Go through your bank statements and note every outgoing, and classify it as regular (fixed), regular (could be reduced), one-off, and WTF. Chase up the inexplicable payments. Make a list of all the one-offs, ideally over several months, and see if there's any way you could have anticipated or reduced them. Research ways you could reduce certain regular payments. Be very clear about what your fixed and most important outgoings are.

Just try to emotionally detach from the financial management as much as possible. Act like it's a project you're working on. I know that's very, very difficult when you're in the middle of it, but constant stress and panic will grind you down and lead to avoidance or poor decisions. You have a steady income now, which is a huge positive: don't let this backlog drag you back, in any sense.

Is there any pet charities local to you who may help you with the cats food? If you approach them and explain you’re struggling and don’t want to give up the cats they may help. When you’re on your feet again you can repay them with donations. It can’t hurt trying.

I entered into a DAMP, begrudgingly, when an ex fiddled me out of a few thousand. Yes, it affects my credit file but there really was no other alternative for me, at that point.

Did you see that bloke on a money program who was paying 2 phone contracts and had overpaid by £6000 because he didn't look at bank statements!

You need to check if there anything odd in your accounts

Firstly, answer your phone. It might be scary but it'll be much better in the long term if you find out what you owe. Calculate everything you know and what you can afford to put towards it.
Then make a strict budget with what remains to make sure you don't continue to overspend.

Could you get a job in a bar at night at the weekend for six months? Or do babysitting? You would be knackered but it would pay a bit off.

You need a plan. You need a budget. You need to speak to people. You need to think about rehoming the cats. (If you loose your home they aren’t going to have anywhere to live anyway.)
You need a list of everything then contact the organisations that have been recommended.

You can do this. But you need to get it sorted NOW.

The stress of it all is worse than the facts of it all

This. Wise words.

Fussy cats: try mixing Whiskas with something cheaper and gradually increase the content of the cheaper food. Cats need to be outwitted imo.

*DMP, not DAMP ffs

You are in a good position.

Really, truly. And I think you need to get out of your mental funk (which is understandable but really not helping) and see that. You have a permanent job and a reasonable take-home income each month. This means that whatever debts you have, you are in a position to make regular payments without getting into further debt. You will be able to pay your bills and pay off your debts. This is great!

But I think you do need to find some help to get you started. Make a CAP appointment or similar. They will be able to help you work out what all your debts are, which to prioritise, and negotiate payment schedules at a rate that leaves you enough to live on. It'll be hard, but it will be so worth it not to have to worry about the phone ringing or the debt collectors turning up on your doorstep. Once you have a plan in place, you can just think of it as a project you are doing, set up all the repayments as standing orders so you know they are taken care of every month, and then budget the rest carefully to cover your needs.

You will be fine. You have not screwed this up so badly that there's no way out. But you may need to reach out for a helping hand to take the first steps.

I agree with AprilW workmanlike approach and take all the panic, emotion and denial out of the situation until you have got all your facts straight.

You cannot get to a solution without doing your homework i.e. the comprehensive spreadsheet. It starts with you.

Surely the cats will eat anything if they are hungry? It's not like they are going to moan at you is it? Though it sounds like you have quite a few. Possibly they could all gang up on you when you are asleep or something. (Not a fan of the sneaky little creatures).

Sorry but you can’t afford NOT to have pet insurance. What happens if one of them needed an operation at 5k +?

I want to disagree with this. I would guess 99% of pet owners in the world do not have pet insurance. In some countries the very idea of a doctor for an animal would be considered laughable, vets don't exist.

I think she probably should not have pets, and if she has them she should feed them more cheaply. But no way should she spend money on pet insurance. If animal is suffering you put to sleep, that will cost less than £5000.

I think you have had loads of advice but I want to add that if you have £400 disposable income (you say £600 but I assume you need to buy food from that and have some kind of life!) then you really could make a good start on getting things back under control. As everyone says, the only way is to first figure out who you owe what to by phoning the main companies and opening your mail/answering the phone. They will would rather set up payment plans than not have their money. That is our first point. Then phone one of the advice numbers.

Your debt doesn’t sound ridiculous. You have spare money where you don’t know where it goes. There are positives here but only if you face up to it.

Sit down and write down who you owe money to, how much and monthly payment plans.

Go through your out goings and cancel any that you don't need.
Look at your out goings. Sign up to QUIDCO or Topcashback and loo at reducing them and getting cash back as well.
I drive a good newish car and your insurance is 3x mine.
Can you find the cheapest petrol station on your route each day when you need filling up
Also cost out and write down what you do need and are not paying for. House insurance, AA/RAC.

Use cash back websites and all the comparison websites.

Then when you know exactly how much is outgoings and incoming isn't covering it work out how much and try and get another job/jobs to cover it.

Work weekends evenings when ever you are free.

Bar work, hospitality companies, shelf stacking.

Untill you know the problem you can't know the solution.

Your out goings on just what you listed seem incredibly high.
Broad band (MartinLewis MSE programme) worked out at around £13 per month when you went on I think plusnet (don't quote me ) and went through a cash back website.

I sat down on Sunday and did an audit of my outgoings and managed to save £53 per month just by changing my broadband supplier, cancelling a subscription, saying I was leaving a provider and they halved the cost and getting to grips with Microsoft and Apple subscriptions which the kids had signed up for and didn't use.

That is £636 over the year.

Remember to prioritise your mortgage, Rates etc

Then those with the highest interest etc

Call the debtors up to see if you could stop any interest and come to a payment plan.

It is quite scary but once you know what the problem is you can start tackling it

Oh and I’m one of those people who believe that pets shouldn’t be spoilt with food. Fed a couple of times a day is plenty. I’m not sure how many animals you have but I’m sure cut backs could be made to feed them a healthy amount but less than what you are currently feeding them.

Actually, Whiskas and Felix are fairly rubbish because they have very little protein which in turn makes them eat a lot more.

I buy IAMS for my cat (on offer) and it costs about £9/month, £9/6 weeks and this is for a chubby cat.

How much do you spend on food and toiletries, can you cut back?

Been there, done it, know how you feel!!

Lots of very wise advice on here- I went with Payplan before and they were ace. I ended up paying £650 back a month instead of the £1400 I was struggling to do.

But what I will ask is, what are you eating during the week? You say you have no ovan, and with one person your meals should be very cheap?

Also pet insurance, I didn't have it, and got clobbered with a £1800 bill for surgery which my old boy didn't survive anyway. Please please get it!!

X

Now that you have a steady permanent income would you be able to remortgage? Possibly at a better rate. Perhaps release a small amount of equity to clear the debts that you know about and do some work on the house? Would you be better selling up and moving closer to the new job?

Can you get a consolidation loan?

What about getting a pay-as-you-go phone—mine costs me around £10 every three months as I hardly use it.

Can you car-share or get a rail pass to cut down on the commuting costs?

The supermarket own brand pet food is quite good value when bought in bulk. I know you said that they won't eat Aldi but have you tried others? This one is £7 for 40 sachets.

People are giving you great advice ( some maybe not ) but you are only answering the negatives.
Are your mortgage/council tax payments at the moment paying off any of the debt. I know its scary I have helped my sister through this and now at the moment just starting to help my DS since he admitted things to me.
If you take your head out of the sand, sit yourself down and work out incomings/outgoings properly. You have missed things like water rates/tv licence off your list. Food etc. Then using a credit record see what debts you have and contact them all even offering £10 a month. Once you have done all this you will start to feel better honestly, the sick anxiety will go once you know what you are facing and how you are going to deal with it

Thank you. I am taking it in and writing things down, but please don’t feel that if there’s one thing I can’t do, I am ignoring all the advice, I’m not.

Buy your pet food in bulk from zooplus and look up voucher codes before you confirm the order. We feed a 28kg dog and 2 cats for about €10-12 a week including paying for delivery form the UK to Ireland, if we bought the food locally in smaller amounts it would cost us twice that or more. We only have to order 3 times a year. Whiskas is crap and a rip off, we get 30kg bags for each animal of a good quality dry food, no wet food, they'll eat it if they're hungry enough.