To think I’ve really fucked up - not sure what to do

[frostedstrawberries]

After a long period of temporary work and sometimes not getting any work for periods of time, I finally got something permanent in January.

I’ve got a big backlog of debt, though, of things that I hadn’t paid for a while because I couldn’t when I wasn’t working.

So now my take home pay is £2050 after tax NI etc.

But my outgoings are:

Mortgage - £800
Electricity - £200 (it’s so high because I’m repaying a backlog)
Council tax - £100 (I owe money on that too)
Car insurance - £70
Mobile phone - £40
Internet - £40
Petrol costs are sky high due to long commute - £300

So in theory I have about £600 left to play with. But it just vanishes. I have pets eating me out of house and home and I have wondered about possibly finding alternatives for them but I just couldn’t. Every day I have phone calls about debts I didn’t even know I had springing up seemingly out of nowhere. I am well aware I am a complete disorganised mess with it all.

I really, really don’t want to go down the route of a DMP - what are the alternatives? I naively thought all would be OK once I started working, but it’s not.

OP have you one friend who you can share this with who can be frank and unemotional about your circumstances and who you can be open with? I can see you are spinning in circles with where to start and can't see a way out. As others have said this debt isn't huge but it is overwhelming you. Good luck!

On the phone calls - do answer, make a note of who they’re calling from, politely refuse to be drawn into agreeing to anything until they have sent you information in writing. They’ll push - that’s their job - but you just keep saying thank you fur informing me of the debt outstanding, and politely insisting that you need to see detail in writing.

I understand why you’re avoiding the calls. But better to have a plan of how to answer them, then tackle them head on.

No, I definitely couldn’t share it with anybody.

Thank you for the cat food tip.

And it’s OK - you didn’t get into debt overnight and you won’t fix it overnight either. But baby steps and tackling it now is absolutely the best way.

So well done, I say! You’ve taken a first step, you’re making a plan. You’ve got a secure income again - well done! And if you sort this, you’re very unlikely to get into this position again, so the future is bright.

I echo the spreadsheet. I'm so glad I maintained doing it, particularly when I was paying off debt - over nearly three years you reeeeally see where your money goes! I also used to spend in excess of £400/pcm on fuel on a long commute! and had a lower take home at the time, but didn't have the mortgage yet - rented a room barely bigger than the bed.

But is no one else a bit at the money leftover amount? How does it compare to y'all out there?

By the same deductions, mine was £630pcm until recently - groceries then come out at £200pcm. Then managed to live and have a (UK) holiday each year. Just Christmas usually makes it onto the credit card (we must have gone overboard this year. It'll not be clear till April pay day )

After a long period of temporary work and sometimes not getting any work for periods of time, I finally got something permanent in January

January. Basically you’ve been working for ONE month.

I’ve got a big backlog of debt, though, of things that I hadn’t paid for a while because I couldn’t when I wasn’t working

You have some debt, it’s actually NOT a lot.

So now my take home pay is £2050 after tax NI etc

That’s a good amount, you CAN sort this out.

But my outgoings are:
Mortgage - £800
Electricity - £200 (it’s so high because I’m repaying a backlog)
Council tax - £100 (I owe money on that too)
Car insurance - £70
Mobile phone - £40
Internet - £40
Petrol costs are sky high due to long commute - £300

Is that mortgage amount including paying some arrears? What’s your mortgage rate & how much longer are you fixed in for?

Is that Ciuncil Tax paying off some of the arrears or is that just the standard amount owing each month?

Is that phone amount paying off a handset? If not, get yourself onto GiffGaff. For £7.50 per month you can get a really good deal.

Look for a different internet deal or up Giff Gaff to £10 a month and ditch the internet.

So in theory I have about £600 left to play with. But it just vanishes. I have pets eating me out of house and home and I have wondered about possibly finding alternatives for them but I just couldn’t

Yes, but you need to write down all the other things!

Food, tv licence, water rates, pet food etc. It all adds up.

Every day I have phone calls about debts I didn’t even know I had springing up seemingly out of nowhere. I am well aware I am a complete disorganised mess with it all

You say further on in the thread that you’re avoiding phone calls. DON’T. You know ignoring it will NOT make it go away. It will make it BIGGER and you’ll be less able to enter into an agreement.

I naively thought all would be OK once I started working, but it’s not

You only started your new job in January! It COULD all be OK IF you pull yourself together and get sorted.

Do you have a laptop/PC/tablet to start a spreadsheet?

Just be aware that if you were out of work and not using your tax free allowance your take home pay will go down in April. Not perhaps what you want to hear, but if you're making a budget best to consider it.

You WILL get there, just hang on in!

First of all, you have a good handle on the debts you are aware of, and how much you owe. So, for those debts you are unaware of, you need to start digging.

Personally, i would NOT engage on the phone at all. If you do answer, simply state that you are unable to discuss, and ask them to write to you. If you genuinely cannot remember what you owe, it could be that some of the debts are statute barred, and they have been sold on, for pennies to debt recovery agencies who are chancing their arms. It may not be ethical, but it is possible that you may not need to repay.

The only way to know is to sign up to free credit check online. Try a couple of different ones and check what information they hold on you. You could be pleasantly suprised to find you owe £50!

Not knowing is the killer. When you know, you can deal with it.

Good luck

Have you looked at changing car insurance and also internet. Both of those seem high to me?

If it's because of size of car etc then could you sell and get smaller car with cheaper insurance? Perhaps diesel due to long commute?

Other than that option can be debt consolidation or if debt isn't extremely high a 0% credit card, balance transfer and payment plan to pay yourself off over a period of time.

Mortgage - £800
Electricity - £200 (it’s so high because I’m repaying a backlog) i get there's a backlog but are you being economical with usage too?
Council tax - £100 (I owe money on that too)
Car insurance - £70 when's this due for renewal?
Mobile phone - £40 who are you with? What phone and when does contract end? This should be possible to reduce quite significantly
Internet - £40 again who you with and when does contract end? That seems high to me
Petrol costs are sky high due to long commute - £300 i get you need to do the miles but there's sites/apps that keep you up to date with best prices at petrol stations in your locale. Eg where I live sometimes morrisons is cheaper, sometimes Tesco but they're less than 1/2 mile from each other. Also look at bonus/loyalty schemes that get you occasional discounts, also HOW you drive can make a big difference (I think there was episodes of top gear and watchdog on this) you'd be surprised. Also there are car sharing sites, could you give someone a lift and they give a petrol contribution?

Moneysavingexpert are an excellent site/forum for finding bargains/deals and for suggesting ways to cut back without massively reducing quality of living.

Also speak to step change, Christians against poverty and similar who can advocate on your behalf to get debts frozen/reduced or at least interest rates.

Have you done a budget? I use a spreadsheet system that is quite idiosyncratic but works for me.

Are you doing the costa coffee, buying lunches thing? If so that may seem small change on a daily basis but can soon add up. Eg daily coffee £2.50 but over a month can be almost £300! Lunch £5 a day - there's your £600 straight away!

Contracts (phone, Internet etc) you don't always have to wait to the very end of the contract period to change you can usually switch within the last month or so and some let you change at any time.

I'll echo PPs and say this is a totally manageable amount of debt. Also, you started your new job on January? (congrats btw) But that means you've only had one payday since you started? It's still early days in terms of managing the money you have left after paying your obligations.

Christ..
You're being given some stellar advice here and you're making excuse after excuse for not taking it.

Doing a DMP would TELL you what these 'other' debts are that you have because they help you identify and work through it. They do the negotiation for you as part of the service. Get a grip and start doing something about this.

And now I see Annie put it much better!

Christ..
You're being given some stellar advice here and you're making excuse after excuse for not taking it.

Go easy, it's less than 3 hours since she posted the OP! Just typing that out will have taken a huge amount of courage. She needs to let all this sink in.

I’m not seeing these excuses I’m making, I’m sorry.

All I have said is that I can’t lift share and I can’t take a lodger at the moment

Everything else is great advice but for some reason people are still shouting at me for not taking it.

OP, I'm sure getting as far as writing this post is your first step in getting a grip on this, so well done.

Mumsnet is great, lots of info and advice here, but I really think the best place for you would be the Money Saving Expert Debt Free Wannabes forum: forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

You will see there that there are people who have had much bigger debts than this and through a structured approach have managed to pull themselves out of it, and will freely give advice now to help others do the same. They also have templates you can fill out to make it easier to ensure you don't miss anything.

Deep breath ... sign up, and you really will crack this and soon be sleeping better at night. xx

Thanks, Whitney, I’ll go and have a look over there.

Yes can people please also remember that when folk are anxious they don't necessarily think terribly clearly and debt is anxiety inducing.

Op I'm dealing with some quite dire financial issues (disabled unable to work various cuts plus rent increase mean I have NOTHING at the end of the month after just basics. I'm trying to get advice from various organisations and appeal some things but it's like wading through mud and some days I really just don't want to think about it!)

How's this one for a wee bit of inspiration for you ...

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5575569

Are you at work today? If not or when you have a few hours next. Sit down and go your actual outgoings every single thing. Then you know where to start. If you weren't working the whole of last year maybe you are due a tax refund in April, might be a nice surprise.
Then follow the advice you've been given on here, if you do you will soon have this under control.
And honestly have a look at freecycle and such for a cooker etc even that sort of thing will make you feel so much better about yourself.
Also have a clear out of clothes you haven't worn for ages. I did it after Xmas and made £100 on eBay, you do something like that you would probably be able to get the shower fixed ( do you know what is wrong with it )

Please try Step change. Like you I had debts I didn't know about. A lovely lady called Katie went through my credit report with me to figure it out. I'm not kidding. The Night after that phone call was the first one that I managed to get some proper sleep. That was 4 years ago and I finished paying my debts last September. Please give them a chance. They are lifesaver.

Thanks, Sharon I did contact StepChange in the autumn, when I still didn’t have anything permanent and I’m afraid they weren’t really able to help me, but I’m glad that they helped you

MoneySavingExpert was first mentioned at 9:05 this morning and many times since.

You’re not answering the questions people have asked, which is, of course, your choice, but if you want people to help you need to engage with them.

Many people on this thread will have been in the same place at some time Op. What they're telling you to do is absolutely what you need to do and please believe me when I say that once you have got to grips with what you owe and how you are going to manage it (you will), it will be as though a great weight has been lifted. There are always things that can be done - it's not insurmountable.

It's the worst feeling in the world to bury your head in the sand and hope it will go away; it won't. The feeling you'll have when you pull your head out of your backside (in the nicest possible way) will be fantastic.

Another good source of advice here on Citizens advice.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/
You have taken the first step by posting here today - I'm sure that you can get through this with the right help.