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Original poster

To actually despise the school run....

128 replies

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 12/02/2018 16:58

Ive been sitting here after I’ve finished work thinking how amazing it feels to not have to do the school run . No dealing with the cliche mums who stand and judge others ( if your gonna do it maybe don’t do it so obviously) or the ones with pushchairs who annoyingly block the path with other mums because they just need to have that little mothers meeting right in everyone’s way because go forbid the extra 10 secs it takes to move out of the way so others can get past.
Or the Mum who lets the little one ram into peoples legs on his little trike and not say anything to him. I don’t miss the loud one who talks really loud so everyone can hear her business, even over my headphones with full volume rock.
Anyone else hate the school run..... I’ve still got another 6 years of it 😭😭

OP posts:
Original poster
Sophisticatedsarcasm · 14/02/2018 06:32

@paxillin
Defo not in my imagination. The women I was talking about pissed off aload of the mums from my DS year. I use talk to more of them (he walks by himself now) and they found her quite intimidating. She literally just use to stare and stare and stare. She’s not so bad with the staring now but it’s just the whisper whisper whenever she sees her lastest victim come through the gates.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 14/02/2018 07:50

"I really do think ‘school run hell’ depends on the size of the school, the luck of finding like minded parents etc"

It also depends on not thinking of yourself as a superior species to "school gate mums". The way people despise other women for having a chat, making friends, enjoying the company of other women is amazing. People talk about "still being in high school". I agree. The whole "She looked at me funny/she must be talking about me/judging me/she gave me evils/they are all so cliquey....."when all they arw probably doing is chatting to their friends. It's ridiculous. Reminds me of my dd in year 8.

junglebookisthebest · 14/02/2018 07:58

i see these threads and am so thankful that our school is normal with normal parents - pleasantries are exchanged and some people that are closer might have a longer chat, everyone is courteous and there are no dramas - its lovely.

AnaWinter · 14/02/2018 08:01

I talk to many different groups at the school and I have never heard any bitching or judging about other parents or kids.

BertrandRussell · 14/02/2018 08:51

Jungle-it's not the school. It's you!

paxillin · 14/02/2018 09:26

but it’s just the whisper whisper whenever she sees her lastest victim

But it is you! Why is this of any consequence? Go to the local shop, pub or library. You will find people chatting, gossiping, flirting, whispering. Are they the Tesco clique or the pub gang? Of course not, they are just people sharing a part of their day. School gate is no different. Go there with that mindset and the hostility disappears.

You are a school gate mum just like her, so am I and most of us on this thread.

Ledkr · 14/02/2018 09:36

I've been doing the school run for 27 years Grin seriously.
I'm on my last stretch with dd year 2 but I've really enjoyed this one. Lovely friendly parents, short pleasant walk,quick smooth drop off and out of the gate.

ifcatscouldtalk · 14/02/2018 09:48

Ha ha, I get you. It's one of the major perks of secondary school. My daughter is in year 8 now.
Two particular mums I'll never forget. One had her finger in every pie and was either doing a collection for someone I didn't know, phoning people in the evening about raffle tickets and was so over invested even the staff visibly dodged her.
Mum number 2 was yummy mummy and clique. Mums used to hang off her every word. She had three children in the school at the time and always spoke loud enough for me and everyone to know everything about her family. Apart from the odd "morning", we never spoke but her voice travelled in a way that I knew her life story anyway.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane sophisticated. Grin.

Bythepath · 14/02/2018 09:57

Before my DC started school I read threads like this and worried. Now all 3DC are at primary school and I have never experienced cliques, bitching etc. I go to school drop the kids, chat to some people, go to work/gym/coffee depending on the day and just get on with life. If there are people I actually know I will most likely stand next to them, but it isn't a clique. I am enjoying a week off the school run as it is always stressful getting my DC ready, not because of any parents at the gates.

Lethaldrizzle · 14/02/2018 09:58

It's just your perception. Trying seeing the good in People!

isittheholidaysyet · 14/02/2018 10:11

I hate having to get up and drive the kids to school. The bad driving/parking is annoying, but is a good topic of conversation.

But I enjoy having a quick chat with a few people. I've never seen cliques or judginess, but people keep telling me all about the cliques at school and the judgy parents. I really really can't see what they are seeing.

Getoffthetableplease · 14/02/2018 10:18

I really hate it. Started off all well and good when I only did it two days a week and no one really spoke to me and then as soon as I was there everyday I got drawn in to the ever changing friendship groups and drama and realised there's actually a fair few very unpleasant people I am forced together with twice a day. To all those who say they have no experience of it, I say enjoy the blissful ignorance Grin

BertrandRussell · 14/02/2018 10:20

"One had her finger in every pie and was either doing a collection for someone I didn't know, phoning people in the evening about raffle tickets"

One sincerely hopes you made sure your child never made use of anything her fund raising efforts paid for.

Justmethenhuh · 14/02/2018 10:21

No bitching no cliques

Just good friends or acquaintances that I’ll smile at as I pass.

Those that struggle with the social side of the school run, I am guessing didn’t have the best time at school either.

Clandestino · 14/02/2018 10:24

This is lots of drama. I normally don't do school runs but whenever our childminder couldn't, we took over. We just bring DD in, drop her at the gate, say hi to the few parents we know and leave.
Same when picking her up. Never saw any issue with that, honestly. Where's the problem in that? You don't have to engage in small talk if you don't want to.

headinhands · 14/02/2018 10:27

I hated it so much I got a job at the school so go in early and dc goes to breakfast club and I leave a while after the kids have gone Grin

Buglife · 14/02/2018 10:28

I honestly don’t see this side of the School run, I have just started it though. If a few mums were chatting to themselves I’m a group I’d just think they knew each other better, not that they were some clique and therefore disliked me. I am happy making small talk with anyone though so I chat into whoever’s there. It’s a private school so you would imagine it could get weird but there seems to be a mix of people (in as far as some are having fees paid by grandparents or inheritance and therefore live a fairly normal life and some are higher earners, doctors etc, some have their own businesses) and no one seems to act judgy. I am pretty blasé about that kind of thing though, I don’t tend to be intimidated. What I hate about the school run is dragging a dawdling DS down the street when we left late!

Pfftkids · 14/02/2018 10:29

Yasss! I'm on my last few months of the school run Grin I'm feeling so smug thinking I'm nearly at the finish line. Hate it with a passion!

Atticusss · 14/02/2018 10:47

It's a class thing in my experience. My eldest went to a school in an area of high poverty, and there wasn't any drama or individual groups. I hated the mums who smoked at the school gates forcing us to walk through smoke, and you frequently saw parents in pyjamas, but no bitchy drama. Since September I've had my youngest at a very middle class school and it is full of drama on WhatsApp, Facebook, lots of gossip and snootiness, separate groups of parents. It's been rather eye opening, I always was confused at this kind of post on Mumsnet but now I know.

rightknockered · 14/02/2018 11:10

I'm dreading it on Monday, only 2.5 years left for me. I have a mix of mums. One who constantly claims her benefits have been paid late and asks me for money, helped her once and now have to avoid. Difficult because he dd is in my eldest (at primary) ds's class. Luckily next year her dd will be attending a different secondary school to my ds.
Another few that have children in my dd's class, all of them are constantly trying to get information on my life, I'm a constant source of gossip to them because I'm single and dating. I made the mistake last term of befriending one of them (accidentally) because she is friends with another mum I am friends with due to our children having ASD. Every tiny thing I say or have an opinion on has become school gossip fodder to them. At the moment I mainly have a problem with how the school deals with SEN and absence of 1:1 TAs, so now apparently I think I'm too good for the school.
One of the daughters of the mums, told my daughter that I am weird, and that my daughter is subsequently weird. Luckily my dd just laughed her off.
Can't wait for the summer break.

rightknockered · 14/02/2018 11:12

Really wish I could just turn up late and go, but have to be home on time for the SEN bus that drops off my youngest so have to collect as early as possible. Unfortunately this involves waiting around in the playground, to catch dc as soon as they come out.
My defence shield includes sunglasses and headphones.

rightknockered · 14/02/2018 11:15

Once they're at secondary school it's bliss, I don't even know the other parent at my ds1's school Grin

Leilaniiii · 14/02/2018 11:18

I love doing the school run!

Justalittlelemondrizzle · 14/02/2018 11:57

I used to feel like this many years ago when my dds first started. I tried so hard to be 'likeable' etc. The cliques and queen bees stood out like a sore thumb, and they were horrible. Unless they wanted something that is. Anyway by about y1/y2 I'd past caring. I had got to know quite a lot of people and there was usually someone I could stand with for 5 minutes. If not then I'd stand alone, on my phone not giving a shit.

My dds are in y4 & 5 and we now live out of catchment so I drive them to school. In the mornings they just jump out and I head straight to work. In the afternoon I still need to be on the playground to pick up dd2 as dd1 can now walk and meet me elsewhere. But I tend to turn up at the last minute park up, wave to her and we leave to meet dd1 round the corner/at the shops.
So this will be my last year of the afternoon pick up. Which is actually a little sad. But at the same time quote liberating. We have already planned that next year I will park on a designated road near school (schools road very busy and they want to walk like their friends) and they will meet me there. It will be bliss.

okthen · 14/02/2018 12:42

I find it daunting. I often feel shy, left out, find it hard to chat. I do have friends at school, who I believed to be close friends, but I'm coming to realise that they are all more friendly with each other than with me, and I can't help but feel hurt, and it makes me withdraw more. But I recognise that this is not their issue but mine. They are not a clique. They are just normal people building friendships. For whatever reason (maybe because I'm around less because of working patterns, maybe because my kid is not part of the close group their kids are in, maybe because I am socially awkward, or younger, or maybe just because of personalities) they prefer to do it more with each other than with me. Now my focus is on trying not be/seem desperate and shoehorn myself into the group, and telingl myself that I have friends beyond the school gates and do not need to be invited for sunday dinner with the kids. But it hurts to feel left out, I won't lie. Maybe some of those who feel ragey about cliques etc actually feel the same as me inside.