Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU to bring a puppy into a home with a 12 year old dog?

26 replies

MrsGloop · 12/02/2018 16:06

Posting from traffic, as In the Doghouse doesn’t get much.

Briefly, we have a 12 year old lab mix who we’ve had since 12 weeks old. We also have three children - 9, 6 and 3.

We went to a rescue adoption event this weekend and were besotted with a 10-week-old mutt. He’s adorable, and we had a home visit which went well.

Only concern is our 12 year old dog. She didn’t seem too terribly impressed with the new pup. Growled when puppy got too close, which was not unexpected, but then just basically ignored her.

I am going back and forth between “it’ll be nice for her to have a companion” and “she’ll feel rejected/replaced/resentful and she’ll spend her last months/years unhappy.”

We need to let the rescue know today, and we just don’t know what to do.

Anyone have experience - good or bad - of introducing a puppy to an old dog?

OP posts:

bilbodog · 12/02/2018 17:20

My dog is 15 now and i wouldnt bring a pup into my home now - i think he will feel replaced - with the best will in the world he has been king of his own castle for 12 years and you are going to bring in a young pup who will take everyone's attention all the time as well as being really annoying and wanting to play.

treeofhearts · 12/02/2018 17:23

No. I brought one in when mine was 9 and that was rough. Certainly wouldn't any older.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/02/2018 17:24

I wouldn't. I rescued (unplanned) a 4 month pup once, my old boy at the time was 11. Honestly, he got properly depressed, thoroughly miserable.

I gave pup to my mum, who had her for 15 years.

Think by his reaction so far,;you can rule out.... it'll be lovely for him to have a companion.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2018 17:25

Yes YABU

Also, what rescue place provides a home check that quickly? They done by volunteers and generally take far longer to arrange than that.

Plus, no rescue place worth its salt would allow this puppy to be placed with a dog that growled at it, let alone be hurrying you into making a decision

What is the place/event called? They should be investigated imo.

MikeUniformMike · 12/02/2018 17:26

YABU.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2018 17:27

*They're normally done by volunteers

LaGattaNera · 12/02/2018 17:29

I agree with everyone else - your dog is in its senior years and any senior dog would find this very stressful but your dog has already communicated how she feels - it wouldn't be nice for HER to have a companion, she doesn't want a companion - sorry but it seems you want a puppy and are trying to make out that you are also doing it for her. Let her live the rest of her life as she has lived her life so far not fair to have a puppy. Puppy will find another home.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2018 17:29

Forgot to add, I can't think of any decent rescue center that would place a puppy in a home with 3 kids of that age either.

Original poster

MrsGloop · 12/02/2018 17:30

Worra goodness, that was a slightly hysterical response 🙄

The event was on Saturday, application made that day, filtered down that night, and home visit the next day. Efficient and entirely the norm where I am. Also, it’s entirely normal for a dog to give a warning growl to another dog who gets “in his face.” It was a “back off buddy” growl, not an “I’m going to eat you” growl.

OP posts:

Storminateapot · 12/02/2018 17:30

We got a puppy when our old dog was about 12 and it seemed to give him a new lease of life. He lived until he was 15 and they got on great.

Original poster

MrsGloop · 12/02/2018 17:31

And more nonsense from you - there is absolutely no reason why a puppy can’t be housed in a family of children. Good grief, have you ever actually owned a dog?

OP posts:

KarmaStar · 12/02/2018 17:31

Although my first dog was only two when we got a pup (we got him on the advise of a dog trainer as dog1 was scared of other dogs)he was not very amused to have this little bundle of fluff clambering over him.
We used a crate(filled with soft bedding,toys fresh water)which pup went into when tired which gave dog1 space.the other times he would just go and lie on the top stairs where pup could not reach.
They were given strictly the same amount of attention,treats etc.
Gradually they worked it out and now are the very best of friends,they play,share chews and are cuddled up together all the time.
It can work,the first dog needs plenty of love and downtime,but don't use pups /crate as a punishment else he won't want to get in it.it needs to be a quiet nice place to go where nobody,is allowed to disturb him.it's the pups place to go for safety.
Dog1may growl but he is just telling pup off.that's how they learn.
I hope this is of some help and you are all happy together🐕

Original poster

MrsGloop · 12/02/2018 17:32

To everyone else, thanks for your thoughts. We are certainly leaning towards passing on this puppy and looking again when our old girl dies. Thanks for your input.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2018 17:36

It's not a hysterical response at all and to address your other post...

I have recently (10 weeks ago) adopted a puppy. I had signed on with 7 or 8 rescue homes.

Not a single one of them would place a dog or puppy in a home with a child under 8 years of age and certainly not in a home with a 3 year old child.

None of them would allow a puppy/dog to be placed in a home with another dog, until the dogs had met in a neutral place at least once and then a trip for the new dog to meet in the older dog's home.

They certainly would never rush anyone into making their minds up that quickly.

It's standard good practise, not 'hysteria'.

Thehogfather · 12/02/2018 17:36

I have, but the dog in question was a small breed and more like a younger dog, very active and practiced at putting puppies or anything else in their place without any stress. So only old in years, not behaviour. Puppy more than happy to defer to older dog. Also older dog was always happy for friends dogs of various ages and temperaments to visit and was generally sociable. So not really the same as your scenario.

Agree the rescue shouldn't be pushing, in my case they were keen to do several visits with the pup and to meeting on neutral ground for a walk together etc. With no pressure to decide.

Topseyt · 12/02/2018 17:37

I have a 13 year old labrador. The last and only time I introduced a new dog (my cocker spaniel) was when he was 2.5. Cocker spaniel was then about 18 months old and they had also known each other well previously for about a year.

It still wasn't without some challenges, although I was confident we would get through them, and we did.

At the age both are now (labrador 13 and cocker 12) I personally would not introduce another. I just don't think it would be fair on them.

I know some people do it, and many may be successful. This is me though, knowing my own limitations.

Sharkofdestruction · 12/02/2018 17:38

My DSis has just taken on a 12week old pup with her 9yo dog, and 2 kids aged 4 and 6. They are getting on great, pup in a crate at night, older dog sleeps upstairs. The older dog seems to be enjoying teaching the young pup too.

Hopingnwishing · 12/02/2018 17:49

OP there are a few rescues which allow you to foster the dog for a month before committing... could this be an option?

stayathomegardener · 12/02/2018 17:49

We introduced a puppy when our original dog was 10.
It was very hard work which we fully expected.
Both dogs were/are exercised/fed separately and even now two years later never left alone together without puppy being crated.
Positives are puppy taught old dog to play and really rejuvenated him, they do have an amazing time together although arthritis in old dog means we limit play.
Old dog finds puppy annoying and comforting in equal measure.
We certainly protect old dog from anticipated annoyances and puppy is quickly put in his place if we miss something.
Not always a disaster.

stayathomegardener · 12/02/2018 17:55

Friends

Confusedbeetle · 12/02/2018 18:01

It is a wonderful thing to take a rescue, but they sometimes come with issues and rehoming is stressful. The addition of small children and an older dog adds to the stress and personally not a risk I would take

wisterialanes · 12/02/2018 18:08

No experience with dogs but when our dcat was 9 we took on a kitten that was going to be drowned. No regrets but it was very difficult, dcat9 really could not be bothered with dkitten who just wanted to be best friends and play. Dcat went through months of hissing, biting, going off his food; I was at my wits end. We tried to rehome dkitten as dcat had made it clear he was not happy, but we couldn't find anyone reliable and didn't want to put him in a rescue shelter. In the end we went to a pet behaviourist who said keeping them completely separate was the answer. Sadly dkitten had to be pts at 8 months due to a heart problem, but we wouldn't think to bring in another cat again.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/02/2018 22:21

I'm also sceptical of any rescue that would rehome with children so young.

We tried loads, they wouldn't entertain us until ds was at least 8.

We bought a pedigree in the end.

ozymandiusking · 12/02/2018 22:29

Yes, it's downright mean.

DramaAlpaca · 12/02/2018 22:39

We got a pup when our old dogs were 11 & 9. Pup settled in immediately. She spent her first night snuggled up in a basket with the other two & there wasn't a squeak out of her. The older ones just accepted her. The oldest dog in particular adored the pup & got a new lease of life, they used to have a lovely time playing together.

Pup came from a family home not a rescue & my DC were teenagers at the time.

Flip

1 2