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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

376 replies

theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 22:10

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

OP posts:
Scrumptiousbears · 12/02/2018 05:07

Lol. There's some really spiteful jealous people on this thread.

Sorry Op I've given up reading. You are NOT being unreasonable. I'd be gutted too but if the promotion warrants only being better off by £100 do it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/02/2018 05:08

Mello

Envious much? Try looking past your own bitterness to the truth of the OP which is that she will have to take on more responsibility for very little cash reward. Just because you dont earn what she does doesnt mean that she shouldnt be pissed off when her income doesnt acurately represent her work.

NotTheFordType · 12/02/2018 05:10

Why on earth is he not paying cms?! Get a claim in, actually because they won't backdate claims, work out what he should be paying, then tell him "oops I've discovered that cms should have been written into our divorce settlement. Turns out you should have been paying 300/month for the DCs needs since the end of our marriage 5 years ago. I could go via the CMA and they'll do an attachment of earnings but as long as you commit to paying 300/month going forward, we'll just call it £5k for the last two years that you haven't been contributing..."

Unless you are on 50% shared care, he is required to contribute to their upbringing. End of. There is no legal agreement in the world which can override his responsibility as a parent.

LakieLady · 12/02/2018 05:12

ohamireally That's great advice!

Would you have to get the financial order varied to reflect the debt arising from the unpaid maintenance, or just wait for the other parent to try and enforce the existing order?

lalalalyra · 12/02/2018 05:37

@theduchessstill You can claim CMS even if it's not in your final order. Even if it was in there then you can apply to cms one year and a day after the final order.

He should be paying toward his kids.

roundaboutthetown · 12/02/2018 05:45

This really highlights how the incomes of the vast majority have been squeezed together whilst the tiny minority eat all the pies. I agree with those who think it ridiculous that people are castigating the OP for the fact that however hard the majority work, there is an ever lowering glass ceiling on most people's income, whilst the obscenely wealthy look through from above the glass ceiling and laugh at all the little people fighting for their scraps underneath.

ivykaty44 · 12/02/2018 05:50

www.theguardian.com/society/datablog/interactive/2012/jun/22/how-wealthy-you-compared

Your better of than 90% of the country

Runlovingmummy81 · 12/02/2018 05:50

Why dont you go through cms for maintenance? It's not normally worked as part of financial settlement in the divorce proceedings?

ADayGivingMeHope · 12/02/2018 05:51
Biscuit
Winteriscoming18 · 12/02/2018 06:05

Biscuit How the other half live ey. There’s singles mothers out there who go to food banks just feed their kids who won’t have the opportunity to own their own home!

Personally I don’t think anyone over 45k should get CB. Half the time it’s put into children’s savings accounts so it’s money that clearly isn’t needed. When you have low earners who genuinely need the top of CB.

worriedowner · 12/02/2018 06:11

YANBU OP. Sometimes it feels like people really begrudge others doing well. It's not as though everyone on low salaries has just been unfortunate, sometimes they really haven't put the same level of study/commitment in that the higher earners have and I see a lot of envy on here sometimes. There definitely are some people who have just been unfortunate (maybe many are on MN?) but plenty of my friends didn't do further education or spend weekends doing extra study/bust their gut in their first few years getting on the career ladder. I sacrificed a lot to earn what I do, all powered by growing up in a home where my parents were bad at budgeting and always rowed about money.

I have just had a pay rise but based on what I was on before I do get a nice bump up, but my next one wont be very good because it will shunt me into the next pension bracket.

ivykaty44 · 12/02/2018 06:12

If you earn £44k per year you take home net £2767 per month
If you earn £50k per month you take home net £3065 per month

I’m failing to understand where the increase of £100 per month comes from?

roundaboutthetown · 12/02/2018 06:15

Yes, let us all race to the bottom. Why give anyone in this country CB when there are people far worse off in Syria, Somalia, Afghanistan, India, China, etc. Why can't everyone just learn to live with less? At least we have food in food banks, eh? That's luxury, that is. What starving people elsewhere wouldn't give for a lovely food bank.

ivykaty44 · 12/02/2018 06:19

Roundabout, the op is hardly someone anywhere near the bottom, she is in the top 10%

Joey7t8 · 12/02/2018 06:23

It’s a fact of life that the more you earn, the more tax you pay, the less you receive in benefits. Net result is that it’s always better to receive a bigger salary though.

You don’t get many people feeling sorry for those that break the £100K threshold and pay 62% on every penny they earn between 100-123K, do you?!

roundaboutthetown · 12/02/2018 06:32

ivykaty - I have already pointed out to the OP that more money is more money, and that she wouldn't want fewer benefits now so that her promotion could be more meaningful. However, the constant going on about how lots of people are worse off and she shouldn't be getting any benefits anyway is just getting tiresome, because everyone knows that won't mean more benefits will go to the poor, it means everyone will get a tax cut, yet again benefiting the most wealthy. It's like turkeys voting for Christmas.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 12/02/2018 06:33

Just to clear up a few things:

  1. I am not living beyond my means as at least one person suggested. I have managed to pay down marital debts accrued by ex and don't put things on credit myself.
  1. The figure takes into account increased pension contributions I will have to make, so that may be why some people think my calculation is wrong. Obviously I will benefit from that money eventually, so I'm not complaining about that. (Though my pension would be better had I got into teaching a couple of years earlier, but that ship has sailed!)
  1. Someone said I was reliant on the government. Of course not, and I haven't had tax credits for years. In fact I am having to pay them back for an overpayment that occurred when I changed my childcare to someone non-registered and forget to let them know.
  1. The CM is a big issue and I do need to address it. Ex doesn't work steadily and I honestly think I will be lucky to get anything from him on a regular basis, even if go through CSA as I understand they can't really do a lot. I emailed him about it last week and he hasn't replied. If I could offset what he should be paying based on the income he wrote on the form when we were divorcing against the savings I am setting aside for him, I would actually feel a lot better. I will put that to him. He thinks he should never have to pay as I earn more Angry.

Thanks to everyone who has understood my point. Still deciding whether to apply or not - it's actually scary thinking about leaving the place I've been for 14 years!

OP posts:
timeforabrewnow · 12/02/2018 06:45

Sorry - haven't read the whole thread - but do you mean you are having to pay your exh expenses etc because you earn more even though you have the kids?

RadioGaGoo · 12/02/2018 06:49

And sone people can't even afford to have the Internet or a mobile phone. So you should all think yourselves lucky (!)

roundaboutthetown · 12/02/2018 06:54

Mind you, if you are of the mindset that we are due a revolution, it might be a good idea in the long run to keep squeezing incomes and taking away benefits, so that even those within the top 10% feel the pain and those at the bottom are literally starving...

NeverTwerkNaked · 12/02/2018 06:57

Do apply for the job! It’s a step up, and you never know, it could lead to other things too.

You also really must get on with sorting CM. You really must. I am not sure you can offset against the money you pay him, you may need solicitors advice. But you could at least come up with an arrangement where he pays for certain expenses for the children? Or do use the child maintenance service, they have been very good at getting my flakey ex to pay.

muffyduffster · 12/02/2018 07:00

Hi OP 👋🏻
Sorry you've got so much stick!
I earn the same as your potential higher salary plus benefits that take me well above the CB threshold, so I do a big sacrifice into my pension. If you google "salary calculator uk" it'll let you put in permutations to see what level would be most tax-efficient. I'm married to a teacher and know you can do AVCs.

DoormatBob · 12/02/2018 07:03

Just put it all into your pension. That way MNers will still be hating you when you retire too!

topcat2014 · 12/02/2018 07:09

Unfortunately there are benefit traps all the way up the income scale.

Try to feel the 'gain' that comes from doing a presumably more senior, well respected, job etc etc - that comes with a little extra cash.

After all, at that level of income the job should be something a little more fulfilling than drudgery.

Have a look at pension payments as well as others have said.

StickStickStickStick · 12/02/2018 07:10

So its 300 a month more of which some goes into a pension.... i dont see the problem this thread is founded on then?