Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

[theduchessstill]

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

I get you op. It is depressing and it’s wrong!
It makes you wonder why you’ve worked so hard and what else you could possibly do.
My wage isn’t huge but it’s not awful. What upsets me is that I constantly think about money. We can’t save because we have no left over money to save from.
Forgetting the money, would you be happier in the new role?

stick - oh, thank god it's not just us! I had this idea it was really affordable. We looked at the prices and - no way!

OP I hear you and yes it's disappointing when you see a job which would be good for your career has a good pay raise but that only 20% of that pay increase makes it into your pocket.

Truth be told wages in the U.K. are terrible for most. So many people on a recent MN thread about wages we're talking about £40k being a high income. No it's not. The UK is one of the most expensive places to live. Just to have an average 4 bed home for a three child family costs about £375k where I grew up. Average income is £30k a year. It's absolute insanity.

I left England and live just outside of NYC. Wages here are a lot higher. As an example teachers start on $55k (£35k) and after about 15 years are on $100k (£65k). After 10 years of service their student loans are repaid by the government. Nearly all teachers have a Masters most have more than one masters in the special needs program. All of this is fully paid for by the government.

Also single parents in the U.K. have a much harder time. Here a single parent has head of household status and the tax code is most generous to this group in recognition to the difficulties of managing a household on one income. The same group should exist in the UK.

I also believe that every family with at least one parent working FT (40+ hours a week) should be able to afford a holiday for a week with their DC. Our system is wrong that there isn't a greater incentive to work FT+ hours.

Want2be 40k is a high income as I think was pointed out on that thread. Fae above average.
A 4bed house is not "average." Certainly most round here are 1 double and 2 singles. I don't know many people with a 4 bed and even then it's not "average."

Many single parents in America can't afford health care. It a just swapping one set of issues for a other.

I think when you move in circles with v. high earners it is v easy to lose perspective!

FFS this place pisses me off sometimes.

'Oh I wish I had to worry about "only" earning 50k!' etc etc.... Its not about how much she earns!

She will be taking home less than a quarter in cash per annum of what the pay rise is worth on paper. How is that not galling?

And FWIW, envy is not pretty. The OP didnt wake up one morning and fall into a 50k job, she worked for it, as could all of you green eyed monsters (and me, on NMW).

Stick

We have to do summer hols only (access issues with ex) and it is cheaper for 2 weeks in France with Eurocamp than it is anywhere half decent self catering (non camping!) in the UK. SHouldnt be, but it is.

BackToThe90s - on your logic, then, thesuchessstill simply needs to ask herself whether she thinks it is fair that she currently gets so much benefit when she doesn't work as hard as she would be if she got her promotion. Would she rather she was currently struggling more than she is, so that getting that promotion would be worth it to her? When she already thinks life is tough enough? I somehow doubt it.

Still, it would be an interesting argument to put to the teaching profession from which the OP comes - that teachers are too well off in comparison to more senior management in their profession and should have their child benefit cut to make their promotions look more appealing. I wonder just how that would play out!!!

It's not "all relative" 100 pounds is a decent amount of money. Those without that would laugh in your face OP. That 100 a month could pay for a tutor for a bright child for grammar....something parents with less couldn't afford.

Or music lessons or riding or more shoes or ANY ONE OF THE MANY THINGS people can't pay for but which would improve a child's life enormously/

Goodness I think you are getting a hard time here, posters seem to think this is about comparing you with others and it isn't, I too would be disappointed to find that 4 of the 500 a month extra would vanish into the system.

I guess that's the fallout from a system designed to support people so heavily.

I would take the job and think about the long term growth opportunities unless the role will make your home working balance much harder.

Being a single parent is much harder as you have all the responsibility, it's a worry and you are trying to provide the financial future of a couple which is impossible.

Can your ex be also planning savings for the kids?
Accounts in their names which you both pay into monthly?

It may take some of the worry away.

£6k a year is about £300 more a month after tax surely?

stick A 4 bed home is average for anyone with 3 or more DC. The fact that a family who is earning average income can't afford more than 2 DC highlights just how low living standards have dropped.

Most people have 2-3 DC and a 4 bedroom home shouldn't be seen as a luxury yet it is in England because it's totally fucked up.

Here the Op is a single parent doing the best to provide for her DC. The system is so messed up that tax paid takes none of their circumstances into account. Earning an additional £6k annually should see much more than £100/month.

Also you clearly have very little idea of how healthcare works here. DC of low income parents have healthcare fully funded by the state. The parents need to sort out their own coverage via Medicaid, if they qualify, through the exchange or their employer. Sadly sometimes is cheaper to pay the fine and pay for healthcare as you go since medical providers have to offer individuals the same prices that they offer insurance companies. Often in a divorce the higher earning parent will agree to include coverage of the DC on their policy and pay all healthcare related costs and reduce maintenance as the medical premium is tax deductible.

It's all getting a bit on here. 'Ooooh 50k!! I'd think I was in paradise on 50k!!! I'd dream of earning 50k!!! Me, I earn 10k and have to raise 14 children on that and I live in a shoebox in the middle of the road!'

No wonder big businesses can get away with paying people shit wages while CEOs collect record-breaking bonuses. As long as the little people keep resenting each other for small differences in their earnings, the 1% can keep getting richer.

The extra money may also mean extra stress, more time away from the children and more childcare costs. All things to weigh up when you are close to an earning threshold which means you might not be massively better off.

I'm not sure whether you've got your sums right though, OP. After tax and NI I work it out as around +£350 a month...

betty Its the decrease in benefits which wipes out the gain from wages.

@inionelie yes exactly that!

inion Totally agree. Yes DH and I make high income. We work as employees and also run two businesses. DH has a lot of employees and adding a third shift we have offered OT at 1.5x hourly rate before hiring more people because people want to make more money. We pay $15/hr where everyone else is paying $9/hr.

We can split the 24hr day in two or three. I've been surprised at how many employees want 12 hour shifts and to work 5 shifts a week. We offer full healthcare with employees only paying copays which is a max of 20% for out of network providers. Speaking to the floor manager, they want this because their spouse makes $9/hr so making $22.50 as OT enables them to make more as a family plus their spouse stay home. I did the math and yes it's right. We also offer OT from 40 hours in a week, not an average of 40 hours a week over a two week period.

The number one way to attract the best, motivate and retain employees is the pay them well and in ways that enable them and their families to live well.

There can't be that much difference if she's earning around the 50k level, Want2B. Any tax credits would be already be minimal.

CB?

OP said upthread that she miscalculated that and would still receive CB.

If 6k more a year equates to just £100 extra a month, then that must mean you're relying on government support today. If not you have your sums are wrong and it over £300 a month after tax.

I don't think you can complain either way. Sorry!

Even if it took you over the threshold and you lost CB for say, two children, taking that off the difference in income, tax and NI, there is still at least a £250 a month increase.

It's just the realisation that this really is as god as it gets now. There is no promotion or job I will ever get that is going to make a substantial difference to our quality of life .

Your quality of life?! I assume you are living beyond your means then?

Like a pp said above, I'll save my pity for someone who actually deserves needs it

I think maybe you need to re-evaluate just how lucky you are compared to a majority

OP the advice regarding CMS was the best advice you've had on here. Open a case and even if they are useless and he doesn't pay the presumably arrears will accrue which you can offset against the payment you are saving to pay your ex. I might be oversimplifying things however but I'm sure other knowledgeable people could advise.