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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

376 replies

theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 22:10

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

OP posts:
roundaboutthetown · 11/02/2018 23:43

Who says the role is automatically more stressful?

JeansAndANiceTop · 11/02/2018 23:44

That’s probably the issue some of us have. To some of us £100 extra a month is a lot of money. And could well be worth the additional responsibilities of the new role.

AnathemaPulsifer · 11/02/2018 23:44

Better CMS link:
www.gov.uk/child-maintenance

roundaboutthetown · 11/02/2018 23:44

What if it's more interesting?

cordeliavorkosigan · 11/02/2018 23:44

But ljlkk , if you don't have 6 people you can get a 40-80£ flight somewhere, a car for a week for ~80£ and an airbnb. Can definitely be cheaper than a week in the UK, especially if you can then spend time outdoors for free instead of forking out £20pp for 'venue' activities every day. Not to mention food for much less in local markets, eating outdoors, compared to indoor pubs, chains in the UK.

wijjy · 11/02/2018 23:45

Unless your new job has much worse pension contributions, you should do better than £1200 more a year from a £6000 pay rise. I was being taxed at a 67% marginal rate with 3 children on everything above £50000 after pension etc.

If you put your current salary into the calculator does it come up with the correct take home pay?

Hedgehoghogger · 11/02/2018 23:45

LRD - but surely you want a system where this could be possible?

roundaboutthetown · 11/02/2018 23:46

Is it better to have a society where the poorest get bugger all support so that the better paid don't have to feel pissed off that they are not better off enough?

BackToThe90s · 11/02/2018 23:46

Oh please. Some of the most stressful roles out there are on notoriously low pay. Some huge responsibility. My role has an awful lot of responsibility as in if I fuck up someone could potentially die.

Sounds like some people need to step into the real world on this thread. Experience, qualifications, responsibility doesn't always = higher pay.

BackToThe90s · 11/02/2018 23:50

Remind me what a paramedic earns? Is that not a stressful enough job?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/02/2018 23:52

hedge - I want a system where there isn't the pressure on new parents to work outside the home, full time. A great start would be to make things better for parents who want careers, of course. But it is absolutely ridiculous to imagine that citing nursery pay is going to make lower-paid parents feel motivated to sympathise with higher-paid parents.

My DP's career, pre-baby, was working in a lab on a project to cure TB.
I worked in university teaching and researching English. I loved it, and I was good at it. It's not that we don't want careers, and it's not that we're not prepared to work.

BackToThe90s · 11/02/2018 23:52

Roundabout no, apparently the higher earners need the extra support so they don't feel bad about their stressful jobs where they work harder than the lower paid Hmm

Original poster
theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 23:55

LRD I'm certainly not boasting. Most money related threads I see on here are full of people who have no debt at all, paid off their mortgage before they even got it and have 12 years' salary in savings.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/02/2018 23:58

We must be seeing different threads.

Look: just be glad you've got the promotion. It's not a bad thing, is it? You are better off.

Most people aren't as well off as you, not by a wide margin. You are doing well.

BackToThe90s · 12/02/2018 00:04

I don't doubt there are stresses and worries still when earning 50/60 thousand but to put it into perspective; I'm working towards getting the dc to an age where I don't need to work part time to cover holidays so I can then work full time, come off Tax Credits and just claim CB (until they are too old etc.) I will be earning less than 20 k a year and will consider myself doing ok. I work in a fairly stressful role with quite a bit of responsibility where if I fuck up I could potentially kill someone. There's your perspective.

Changednamejustincase · 12/02/2018 00:05

Our household income went up by £50 a month in January. We were really pleased.

tumblrpigeon · 12/02/2018 00:07

Well done on your promotion.
And you have 1200 pounds more a year which is good.

cakedup · 12/02/2018 00:10

I do feel sorry for you, but not because you are going to be £100 better off. I feel sorry for you that you cannot appreciate what you have.

I'm a lone parent, no child maintenance, live in London and earn less than half of what you do. I can't afford to buy my house, doubt I ever will, but I'm lucky that I can afford my rent due to living in housing association property.
A few years ago I wasn't working and couldn't even afford to buy a costa coffee. Everytime I buy one now I feel a burst of gratitude. I can afford a holiday 3 - 4 years. I can afford to have a cat. I can afford birthday and christmas presents, the bills and food shopping including 'luxury' items like avocados (all these things I couldn't afford before when unemployed). So, yes, I agree it is all relative. But why not use that law of relativity to feel a bit more grateful for what you have.

You can call me judgey, patronising, unfair, whatever you want. Or you can really think about how lucky you are to have a comfortable lifestyle. And now £100 a month more. That's a lot of bloody money.

Amortentia · 12/02/2018 00:11

Years ago I worked for an organisation that helped single parents claim the correct benefits. Nothing put the fear of god in me more than the women who got most of their income from benefits and then lost them once the kids got to 16/18. I would advise you achieve an income that replaces the benefits you currently receive because before you know it your kids will grow up but you’ll still have a decent income.

HelenaDove · 12/02/2018 00:14

Has anyone on this thread watched The New Builds Are Coming. There was a single parent on there who increased her hours from part time to full time. She lost right to any HB and now cant afford to pay the private rent so went to see about getting rehoused and tried to apply for social housing. But there is a shortage and she has to wait until shes actually made homeless.

"Bring on the debt and the worry" was the phrase she used.

anothersuitcase · 12/02/2018 00:19

No one is saying no holiday. But, erm, maybe a week in the UK?

You are ill informed as well as being nasty, judgemental and spiteful (based on all your posts). A week in the uk costs more, (unless you are six people going to the Lake District) Try pricing up a week in butlins versus an all inclusive in Benidorm

BackToThe90s · 12/02/2018 00:19

Amor that scares me too which is why I am working towards being off any kind of benefit by the time my dc are that age! I know quite a few with their head in the sand thought!

The thing that scares me most about this thread is there's an attitude out there where some people assume you're not in a higher paid job because it's either not very stressful (!) or you're not very highly experienced or qualified. It's a real eye opener. Reminds of my ex fil who thought people only couldn't afford to buy houses was because they had Sky tv and mobile phones Hmm

LRDtheFeministDragon · 12/02/2018 00:22

another, I've never been to Butlins. DP fancies it for when we're feeling flush, but we can't currently afford it.

If that's your benchmark for a UK holiday, I can't help you! But for a normal UK holiday, yes, I think it is a lot cheaper than overseas.

StickStickStickStick · 12/02/2018 00:36

Er seriously another!?!?

We've done variously- a weeks camping for about 200, a haven holiday for about 300 and a bit more for activities, rented a cottage for 400 (not summer hols!) No way is going abroad cheaper. These are normal holidays for people on a low income. Many don't holiday .

How on earth do you think abroad is cheaper!?

StickStickStickStick · 12/02/2018 00:37

LRD I was shocked at the cost of Butlins! We'd love to do it with the kids one day for the pool. I had no idea it was so expensive.

As for all inclusive anything - you've got to be kidding.