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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

376 replies

theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 22:10

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

OP posts:
Notcontent · 11/02/2018 23:07

I think some of you are being a bit harsh. I earn more than the OP but as a lone parent in London I still spend a lot of time worrying about money.

Notcontent · 11/02/2018 23:07

I think some of you are being a bit harsh. I earn more than the OP but as a lone parent in London I still spend a lot of time worrying about money.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 23:08

Great - no holiday Hmm. Tbf, I am well qualified, highly experienced and successful in my field. I am pissed off to think a week abroad is too much to ask in reward for that.

I don't have an expensive lifestyle at all - I'm sure I could cut back more but I've been paying for a divorce and paying off marital debts that weren't my fault. I'm now starting to save and do have a decent amount left at the end of each month to put away, but I feel I'm a decade behind where I should be and, should disaster befall me there's not much of a safety net atm.

I'm fully aware others are much worse off, but it's not what this thread is about.

OP posts:
HarmonicaGeller · 11/02/2018 23:08

I dropped 25% of my hours at work and am less than £100 worse off per month (totally necessary due to health issues before anyone gets snotty with me). SO worth it to enable me to deal with an issue that would otherwise have resulted in me leaving my job.

StickStickStickStick · 11/02/2018 23:09

But you will. At least 100 £ a month!

That's presumably on top of current income so after all bills paid etc so £100 a month to spend
That's amazing. That's a holiday a year or a day out a month of a ton of hobbies.

I'd love that! Yay for promotions.

HarmonicaGeller · 11/02/2018 23:09

But yes - completely nuts.

JeansAndANiceTop · 11/02/2018 23:10

I think some of us are single parents who earn considerably less, who can’t afford a weeks holiday and do worry about putting food on the table, who live hand to mouth.
It’s difficult to find sympathy for someone on triple my salary who has these things, who to solve the problem would be to put more money into a pension.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 23:11

So people should only get CB if they can't afford a holiday? Confused

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/02/2018 23:12

Oh, come on!

No one is saying no holiday. But, erm, maybe a week in the UK?

I am also highly qualified, successful and experienced. You do not want to know how much I (don't) earn. I know people who have so many letters after their names you'd run out of paper, who've been working for decades, who consult with organisations such as the WHO, and who don't get as much money as you.

It sucks, but it is what it is.

Hedgehoghogger · 11/02/2018 23:13

I'm more concerned that someone on over 2 x average wage can't afford a holiday. We should be angry about that not suggesting someone on a high salary goes without what many consider a normal thing. 60k a year = 60k worth of stress for little more than those on half a salary.

It's great that systems are in place to support lower income families but pretty crap to realise there's little more for taking on more stress

JeansAndANiceTop · 11/02/2018 23:13

No obviously not. You earn double the uk average salary. Double.

BackToThe90s · 11/02/2018 23:13

I also have 17 years experience in my field at work and qualified. Even when my dc are old enough to not need child care in holidays and I work full time, 50 k is an unimaginable amount of money to earn. I also just finished paying thousands for my divorce too (solicitor fees) so understand where you're coming from on that front but s holiday for me is not something in sight probably until my dc are grown up.

bluepears · 11/02/2018 23:14

just think of it this way you will be better of than someone who has the same salary but does not have children.

PrimalLass · 11/02/2018 23:15

No obviously not. You earn double the uk average salary. Double.

That really means very little when the cost of living varies so much across the country.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 23:15

I had a week in the UK a couple of years ago and it cost similar to what it costs going abroad - especially as it rained and I had to pay out for a lot of activities. I want the dc to experience going to other countries so it's something I prioritise.

OP posts:
Hedgehoghogger · 11/02/2018 23:16

And double the UK average works out at very little more than the UK average if you're a single parent

LittleBirdBlues · 11/02/2018 23:16

I doubt there would be so many nasty comments if this was about a couple where both earned 25k.

OP you really shouldn't have to justify why you are frustrated and worried. The CB cap of 50k per person is deeply unfair, and it disadvantages single income parents hugely.

My take home salary is 2,800 after childcare vouchers. Mortgage is nearly 1500 (London, two bed terraced in zone 5), childcare is 800 a month for two kids in part time nursery. Plus bills, food etc.

I don't know how old OPs kids are but on a single income and with two dependable children 50k really isn't all that much.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/02/2018 23:17

It rained?! Shock Sad

I always pay out for fine weather when I go on holiday. It must be so awful to be unable to bribe the heavens.

I'm so sorry I didn't understand your plight. Please, accept my sympathies, and a bunch of extra sympathy for your poor kids.

Hedgehoghogger · 11/02/2018 23:18

I was about to say the same littlebird. Not referring to individuals here but mumsnet can have a strange attitude to single mothers - they made the decision to be single (ha) therefore should not expect to have a high standard of living.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/02/2018 23:19

I doubt there would be so many nasty comments if this was about a couple where both earned 25k.

Why? It's a lot of money.

A couple both earning 25k might not have quite such inflated ideas of what they're entitled to, but that would be the only difference.

BackToThe90s · 11/02/2018 23:20

Oh course you can have a holiday Confused But to get a couple of grand in CB (and moan about losing it) then pay out a couple of grand on a holiday abroad (or whatever it is) is a bit Hmm really.

One thing in this country is that working hard or being qualified doesn't equal s good lifestyle (think of nurses/teachers/care workers etc.) So just think of yourself as very fortunate.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 23:20

No obviously not. You earn double the uk average salary. Double

But is it salary or household income? Many people on that average salary will be with someone else on similar maybe, or perhaps more. I'm certainly very very lucky compared to many people but it's a bit depressing that there's little scope for improvement now.

OP posts:
Strumpetpumpet · 11/02/2018 23:20

It’s harsh I know and I do sympathise but when there are thousands of families reliant on food banks it just wouldn’t seem right giving child benefit to higher earmers. We lost ours too as DH earns just abov3 the threshold - I work now but at the time I was a SAHM. I do feel it’s especially harsh for single parents and yes of course it should be based on household income, but even if it were I guess it would be hard to justify paying benefits to someone in your position. Congratulations on your promotion and best of luck to you x

LittleBirdBlues · 11/02/2018 23:21

hedgehog I also find it sad when people cite the fact that some single parents have it even harder, therefore you lose your right to complain about a broken system. It isn't a race to the bottom. So sad.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 11/02/2018 23:21

But CB isn’t forever, is it? You might only have that for another 10 years or so. Maybe even less. I’d go for the new job. Good luck!