Aibu to ask for your pet peeve at work

[Whisperingwinds]

What’s the one thing that your colleagues do that drive you up the wall - emails without subject lines does it for me.

This is therapeutic

When the person taking over from me tries to start managing what I’ve done during my shift when I’m still actually working it and they’ve not started yet... funnily enough I have actually planned and thought out the decisions I’ve made and I have good reasons for doing it this way but you’ve decided I’m wrong before speaking to me so you’re not willing to listen to anything I have to say... and apart from anything else it’s still my fucking shift right now so fuck off and let me run it as I see fit

Is it ok if I just nip out for another fab, no it's bloody not but you're going to anyway so don't bother asking

Not saying (at a minimum) Hi. And Thanks.

So:

Snow

Can you make sure this is done.

Rain

Grr. Not hard to be polite, is it

My male colleague whose wife ring a numerous times a day.

They talk about their daughter as "princess name" despite her being 14.

He talks so loud on the phone i often have to ask people on my line to repeat themselves. He never listens. Takes on too much work then makes mistakes.

He pretends he doesn't know what you're talking about.. eg: last week a call came through for him, was picked up by another colleague who asked him "what's your extension number?"

He replies "ummm what IS my extension number? I don't know... haha"
When it is written on the earpiece of his phone..

I used to hate people who pace and talk loudly right behind me (surprisingly common).

I used to also have someone ask me if I could find out XYZ. So I would email the person I thought might know, who would forward my email to someone else, who would do the same. Then it would end up with someone quite senior who would forward it to me and say “Cru, you need to find this out as a matter of urgency”. It’s quite awkward telling someone that you are the one who was trying to find out in the first place.

I have a colleague who has the ability to come in when all hell is breaking loose and instead of jumping in to help just goes and does some unimportant admin task that can wait until it's quiet. She gets irate if anybody suggests she leaves it.

At the minute we're short staffed and she came in during a busy shift picked something up and said 'shouldn't this be over here'. People lost their shit with her. She is very single minded, purposefully so I think so she gets away with doing fuck all.

Night staff chitchatting whilst I wait around (pass clock off) to give handover (nursing). Really pisses me off as I have run to childminder to collect DD.

Not reading/paying attention to email content. Or completely avoiding the question you've been asked.

'X, there is a discrepancy in Tuesdays performance, any ideas on why?'

'Z, Wednesdays performance was excellent, see below'

Yes but that wasn't my fucking question was it?!?!?

At this stage, when the same person fails to answer a basic question at least 3 times a week I have taken to being the dick that CCs in their manager as for a long time they were convinced the sun shone out of their arse. Now their manager can see that they are struggling on even the most basic of tasks and is working to fix it rather than being ignorant to it.

Someone, although over the years several different someones, who seem to think they are the only parent on the planet. No you feeble minded disorganised fool, if you and your partner between you can't arrange for paid childcare with months of fucking notice, don't expect me as a single parent to cancel my plans last minute to pander to your entitled attitude. Plus childless colleagues who don't know me could tar me with the same brush if I ever did have a genuine emergency.

Also people who seem to confuse volume of emails with importance & capability. Emailing random shite, or sending uncalled for emails to confirm you've done your job to the entire department or even further just makes you look a twat, not competent. Think the equivalent of a bartender emailing the entire restaurant or even all hotel staff to confirm table 4 have drinks.

The office bore who talks about hoooooww buuuuusyy he is and howwww much he needs to get dooooone. Just shut TF up and do it then! Our office Lloyd Grossman.

My other colleague who talks about "the wife". You're 27, you tit, and it's not retro-cool. Stop it.

The one who always says he's too busy to help even when he is supposed to and it's his job, implying you are in the wrong for even asking. I'd hate to be his partner.

The one who won't give anyone else any of his workload and then flagellates himself regularly by working stupid hours and sighing about unequal workloads.

The one who will talk you through an issue, confusingly and opaquely, for a good 10 minutes but who won't put his key points down in an email so I can actually pass them on to the client.

The man who has a particularly pungent snack every Friday. The same one. It smells like sweaty feet. I want to scream how can you not be bored with this again ? Just go and buy some biscuits/ crisps/a lobster for a feckin change.

But most of them I genuinely love.

Leaving dirty dishes.
Running the (water) tap on constant high flow while S L O W L Y washing a mug out.
Mixing recycling with rubbish.
Leaving lights on in the little-used meeting room.
Printing out loads of paper... never picking it up from the printer.
(Can you tell I'm an eco-freak?)

Related: dumping a load of coffee grounds into the sink & running the water on high for 20 minutes, sink was clogged for days after that, sigh.

Oh have you got all day??
Pointless wanky office speak. Blue sky thinking and picking this up off line just makes you look like a DICK
Webinars. People just use them to show off their geeky tech skills. Fuck off and just send me a power point.
People who have their heads so far up their own holes they can't even breathe! Like fuckers who only got where they are through good luck, but believe their own bullshit
People who say 'we got this' when trying to motivate others to do a job. Fuck off
People who go on about how busy they are but never seem to do any work
People who cook fish dishes in the kitchen
People who fuck up the photo copier then poss off
People who take their annual 6 month stress related sick leave and make a miraculous recovery when their sick pay stops

Fuck I'm a grumpy bastard

ohlalalala

I hear you!

ohlalalala We once had a locum who did night Shifts then cooked kippers on his George Foreman grill in the morning. He was not very popular.

@DarkDarkNight I would have kicked him in the dick

Being bitchy

This 'I'm the most tidiest/anal/ocd' competition that seems to go on. People trying to out do each other about how extremely tidy and organised they are.

OMG I didn’t expect so many replies ! Oh the reply All does my head in as well and people who leave their empties in the meeting room !

People who are incapable of making a fucking decision even though they're in senior positions and get paid loads.

People who spend all day sniffing instead of blowing their nose.

People who use the phrase "reach out". It absolutely does my head in. "Let's reach out to Helen from Marketing"..WHAT??
WHY?? Is she dangling off the edge of a fucking cliff?? Because if not why don't you just say "let's email Helen from Marketing" or "let's speak to Helen from Marketing" like a normal fucking person??

When they whinge about being on call. You wanted to be a vet, animals don't just get ill 9-5 so suck it up!

Lack of equal pay and conditions for women.

Wanky corporate speak...I'll reach out to him. We need some blue sky thinking. Blah fucking blah.

Conference calls that last 3 hours when there's only 20 mins of meaningful discussion. Everyone talks over everyone else and if you pull anyone up on it, you're the dick...

People incapable of correctly using any form of technology. Can't mute their phone, spell check an email, use the printer, save anything to the shared drive.

Managers who have nothing to do but chase others. How's that project coming on? Well Matthew, I told you at 4pm on Fri afternoon I'd have it finished by Thursday. I wasn't in on Monday and it's now 10am on Tues. So what do you think has changed in the 2 working hours since we last spoke?! Christ on a bike....

Colleagues who moan about trival complaints like on this thread.

Lazy bastard men chatting about footie all day and fannying about on internet leaving the rest of us to do the work, but they never get pulled up about it

People making mistakes that i have to sort out for them, fucks me right off

Continually showing me how to do the same thing over and over again even though I do it Day in day out with no problems 🤬