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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think veganism isn’t compatible with family life

95 replies

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:09

I have been vegetarian for 30 years and decided to try vegan january. My 2 kids didn’t do it so it was just me & partner.
I really enjoyed it and kind of wanted to continue especially as I found some of the stuff about the dairy industry upsetting.
But I have found it really hard in terms of family life and the time it takes to prepare food. It was kind of ok for a month but I work full time and found I was cooking 2 meals every night or spending a lot of sunday batch cooking for the week when I wanted to be with the kids.
Before I tried vegan january, we would all eat stuff like a quick omelette or scrambled eggs for tea. My kids were still eating that but then I was cooking another vegan meal on top and have found it exhausting!
I feel awful saying this as it sounds like I am making excuses but I have found it so time consuming. I do eat a mostly plant based diet but with eggs and a bit of cheese once a week.
Aibu? All my vegan friends don’t have kids so have more time!!

OP posts:

Mrscog · 11/02/2018 17:12

I am not vegetarian or vegan but I don’t think you’re unreasonable. I cook 2 meals due to kids not eating loads and different arrival/bedtimes and it’s a nightmare.

I also think it’s a valid choice to just cut down on dairy - I have tried to cut back. Could you find a super ethical source of eggs? My friend rescues battery hens and then they live super free range. I always try and eat eggs from sources I know.

formerbabe · 11/02/2018 17:13

I went vegan once for two weeks...not for any moral reasons to be honest...I did it to try to lose weight and feel healthier. I did lose weight, my skin improved and I felt great. It was incompatible with family life though. I was literally never out of the kitchen. Would have been fine if I just had to cook for myself but I just couldn't do it with a family to cook for too. Way too much work!

BackforGood · 11/02/2018 17:13

I can't begin to imagine the practicalities of following a vegan diet - particularly when out and about / on the go / going to other poeple's houses.
However, if you are cooking vegan for the two of you, I am confused as to why the dc can't have the same as you, and that you have to cook 2 lots of meals each time. Not sure what I'm missing ?

Original poster

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:15

Well basically @backforgood because they aren’t keen on a lot iof it. They will eat some meals but stuff like beans and pulses etc they don’t like. They eat veggie chilli, curry etc but not all of it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:18

@formerbabe I feel like I have barely been out of the kitchen too. I think that’s been a big part of it- I feel that I need to eat really well but it’s time consuming!

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2018 17:18

I did veganuary and found it a lot of organising. I really missed proper milk in tea. For now, I’m just massively cutting down on dairy and see how that goes.

ChupaPenguin · 11/02/2018 17:19

Dunno tbh, we've been vegan for years so second nature to us. DC vegan/pescatarian. Not difficult.

DreamyMcDreamy · 11/02/2018 17:20

Well basically @backforgood because they aren’t keen on a lot iof it. They will eat some meals but stuff like beans and pulses etc they don’t like. They eat veggie chilli, curry etc but not all of it!

Do they like lasagne? Just done Veganuary here too (not the kids though) and they both love lasagne when we did that.
Stir fries and noodles? You can make loads of cakes/ banana loaf etc and they'll never know the difference too.

Original poster

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:20

Also my kids like milk, eggs, fish and I feel like I don’t want to impose my dietary choices on them at this point!

OP posts:

UpTownFuck · 11/02/2018 17:23

I know what you mean I'm the only vegan dh and ds aren't but I only cook vegan cause dh can never be bothered to cook and since I do it we eat what I eat, but it's still spag bol, Shepard pie, vegan fish fingers, chicken nuggets etc and they both agree it's nice

DreamyMcDreamy · 11/02/2018 17:24

Also my kids like milk, eggs, fish and I feel like I don’t want to impose my dietary choices on them at this point!

If they like milk, eggs and fish and are old enough to make their own choices, then no, I wouldn't impose my dietary choices on them either.
DH has been veggie for years, I eat little meat/no dairy and DH has recently gone vegan.
The children like their meat/fish/milk/eggs though so they still have them.
It's easily compatible with family life if that's what you all want. Not if it's one imposing food beliefs on another though.
Should be own choice.

10thingsIhateAboutTheDailyMail · 11/02/2018 17:24

Fair enough!

I often think I'd love a vegan diet.... if I had a private chef!

UpTownFuck · 11/02/2018 17:25

Also loads of places offer vegan food on menus so I'm never hard done by Wetherspoons, the Harverester etc loads of vegan options now

DreamyMcDreamy · 11/02/2018 17:26

Yes, it's getting easier to eat out as a vegan now.
Wetherspoons have some great vegan dishes, Pizza Express now has vegan pizza, and Toby Carvery has vegan options too.

NerNerNerNerBATMAN · 11/02/2018 17:27

I found proper veganism really hard. That said, I can massively cut down on my dairy consumption and still think that's positive overall. I personally find flexitarianism easier in the long run.

BoomBoomsCousin · 11/02/2018 17:27

If you’re not going to do it as a family, then, no, it’s not family friendly. But that’s not really because it’s vegan. It’s because you aren’t eating as a family. If you went Kosher but wouldn’t feed that to your kids, that wouldn’t be family friendly either, but lots of Jewish families manage it just fine.

Original poster

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:28

I think ultimately I have found the time factor hard. I really wanted to eat real food if I was going to do it and not rely on fishless fingers etc (even though I did have them a bit) so maybe I made a bit of a rod for my own back by wanting to cook everything from scratch as was worried about getting deficient if not.

OP posts:

notacooldad · 11/02/2018 17:28

I don't think it is incompatible to be honest.
You just need to meal plan like you would normally do.If you are stuck for ideas just google vegan family meals on a budget.
It's easier now than it has ever been to be vegan with so many substitute choices.
It'll just take a bit of planning until you are used to it and get into the swing of it, that's all.

travailtotravel · 11/02/2018 17:29

No kids here, OP. But both full time jobs. DH didn't want to carry on after vegan january, and has gone back to wanting milk etc, but we have compromised in that I will do largely vegan/veggie during the week and we may have meat at the weekend. I think the thing for me is that I don't want the dairy so much (I think it's this that has helped me lose about half a stone this month), so tiny bit of cheese at the weekends only. It is completely all about the preparation cooking if you want to do it though.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/02/2018 17:31

I think if you spent just a little time pre-planning, you could make it work very well. If you make most components of a meal vegan, then you can just add a protein for the kids. Also, you could have cheese on hand if they want to add some to their meals. I think it's totally doable.

travailtotravel · 11/02/2018 17:34

I also think that if you want to eat well with any diet, its got to be about the preparation. So I am just going to have to suck it up, I think!

Original poster

Movingon2018 · 11/02/2018 17:36

@travailtotravel maybe that’s what I need to do aswell. I have tried really hard to eat the same as much as possible and we have been super healthy. I have just found it hard going energy to cook wise!!!

OP posts:

Uhuhhoney · 11/02/2018 17:38

I work full time and study in the evenings in the week. Saturday's i tutor, and Sundays i chill! It is hard at first, but veganism can be pretty easy. So for example id usually eat:

Breakfast - bagel with vegemite/weetabix and soya milk

Lunch - salad with chopped up vegan quorn fillets OR avocado and hummus and sundried tomato pitta breads OR homemade lentil soup and pittas

Tea - vegan chilli, curry, baked potato and linda mac country pies

Its really easy to be a lazy vegan.

All you have to do is substitute small dishes. For example, if family are having chilli, you just use a small pan for soya mince (or you all have it). Soya milk instead of milk on cereals.

I think if you want to be vegan you will be one. Nothing would sway my mind. Maybe you should question if you actually wanna do it? (And its fine to say you just don't want the hassle!!!)

fusushumi · 11/02/2018 17:39

Fishless fingers?

Chewbecca · 11/02/2018 17:41

Could you partly do it, i.e. swap out your milk, butter and cheese for vegan alternatives.

Then it is just the eggs really, definitely try to buy the highest welfare eggs you can, maybe keep your own then you know the hens are well treated?

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