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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you a feminist? Just a yes or no.

999 replies

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 09/02/2018 17:16

No need to go further into your reasoning if you don't want to but this has always a been curious issue to me and came up today with one of my colleagues. She is a feminist by how she described her beliefs but doesn't actually adopt the term.

OP posts:
shehimthey · 10/02/2018 01:34

yes

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 10/02/2018 01:34

Yes

lesDeuxAlps · 10/02/2018 03:31

Yes.

Definitely not a MN feminist.

"Can you find a more diverse, robust discussion forum anywhere?"

frizzyhaired · 10/02/2018 03:32

Yes

brieandcrackers · 10/02/2018 04:28

Absolutely yes!

GinDaddy · 10/02/2018 04:29

Yes

runawaywithme07 · 10/02/2018 05:34

Nope.

I believe in equality. For everyone. And apparently feminism just means 'believing in equality for men and women'. But I've read plenty of nasty, intolerant and bigoted comments from feminists (on this site amongst others) and I wouldn't like to associate myself with those kind of people, even if they're in the minority (I know there are plenty of nice feminists around too).

And if feminism really just means 'equality for men and women', then why are feminists not more supportive of issues affecting men? For example, I find it really shocking that suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45. But on here, it's largely ignored, or attributed to men being violent and selfish.

That's just a rhetorical question anyway, because I'm going to run and hide now, before I'm torn to shreds.

So no, I believe in equality for men and women, but I would never label myself a 'feminist'.

BertrandRussell · 10/02/2018 05:39

“But I've read plenty of nasty, intolerant and bigoted comments from feminists“

What sort of comments are you talking about? I won’t “rip you to shreds” I promise. Just interested.

NavyGold · 10/02/2018 05:47

No.

EasterRobin · 10/02/2018 06:01

Yes

Skarossinkplunger · 10/02/2018 06:03

This thread has made me less likely to identify as one.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 10/02/2018 06:33

run men could focus on the issues that concern them, it's not for women to sort out their problems for them. Part of the reason we have feminism is that society expects women to do lots of unpaid labour and put en's concerns above their own. Would you email the RSPB because they are not focusing on giraffes?

whensitmyturn · 10/02/2018 06:34

Yes

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 10/02/2018 06:36

I always think it's odd that people are put off feminism because they saw a woman on the internet say something they didn't like once. They must watch the news, they must see all the male violence. That doesn't put them off chaps though, but slightly rude women on the internet and that's enough to put them off the idea that women should be liberated from oppression. Really odd when you think about it.

babybobobear · 10/02/2018 06:39

Yes!
When I was a lot younger I used to be a strong no and think it was nonsense Blush I knew nothing then, I'm much more informed now especially since living with a man Envy I think that's really what opened my eyes and I've read up a lot since then.

Pumperthepumper · 10/02/2018 07:18

I will never understand how people can reject feminism because it doesn’t do enough for men.

Men could sort ‘equality’ (I don’t like the word equality because I think it’s too open to interpretation as ‘everyone treated exactly the same’. I prefer ‘fairness’ but whatever) out tomorrow. Feminism could be totally unnecessary if men wanted it too.

BertrandRussell · 10/02/2018 07:23

“This thread has made me less likely to identify as one“

Can you say why?

efeslight · 10/02/2018 07:27

Yes

JustARandomBloke · 10/02/2018 07:28

For what it's worth, I think the negative associations associated with the term feminist are now a major stumbling bloke.

As is often the case, a loud minority tend to shout opinions that are taken as a voice of the whole group/movement. To many males, feminists are seen as anti-male and consistently seeking opportunities to man-bash.

As a man, the human I have most respe t and admiration for is a woman (My wife). She should be afforded equal rights as a minimum. So should every human being.

In that sense I am a feminist, but I don't call myself a feminist as it is not really about women's rights for me. That's much less important than equal rights for all. A more inclusive name and focus would really help to imo.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/02/2018 07:29

Yes.

But agree with “not a MN one”!

hungryhenryshouldeatelsewhere · 10/02/2018 07:30

It's not that feminism doesn't do enough for men, it's the hypocritical attitude that comes with feminism which seems to put women above men.

I also don't like to be grouped with all women, just like I don't think all men are the same. We are all individual people and should not be defined by our gender. My husband is amazing and would never do any of the stereotypical shit men get blamed for. I am a woman who doesn't hate porn, I don't oppose darts walk-on girls, I don't get offended if a man calls me sweetheart or holds a door for me - but do I believe women deserve to be paid the same as men? Absofuckinglutely. I can't be part of this almost cult-like belief that all men are cunts and are out to rape us or flash their dicks at our children at any given opportunity. If that means I can't be a feminist then so be it.

I'd love a movement that campaigns for men and women to be on the same, fair level instead of this anti-men, anti-sex and anti-trans movement that modern feminism has become.

BertrandRussell · 10/02/2018 07:31

“A more inclusive name and focus would really help to imo.”
Wouldn’t be quite so feministish, though, would it? Grin

BertrandRussell · 10/02/2018 07:34

“Absofuckinglutely. I can't be part of this almost cult-like belief that all men are cunts and are out to rape us or flash their dicks at our children at any given opportunity. If that means I can't be a feminist then so be it.“

I don’t think that either. Does that mean you think I’m not a feminist.?

JustARandomBloke · 10/02/2018 07:34
Grin

It's almost as if I'm suggesting that would be a good thing Bertrand...

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 10/02/2018 07:37

YES