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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

No party RSVPs because of DCs name. AIBU to be annoyed?

89 replies

TathitiPete · 09/02/2018 09:26

DDs party is soon. We sent invitations home with the relevant children giving people three weeks notice. Had two responses.

DH dropped DD off at school this morning and bumped into one of the parents so asked if their DC was looking forward to the party. And this is when we discovered that there has apparently been a bit of confusion with the invitations. DD has an unusual name tbf and people weren't sure whose party their DC was being invited to!

AIBU to think they could've checked if they were confused? Asked the school? Contacted me? My phone number is on the invitations. Something other than just ignore the invitation. I don't know if they were/are going to show up at the playcentre on the day. I presume not.

OP posts:

PlaymobilPirate · 09/02/2018 13:30

Has your school got a parent's facebook page / WhatsApp group You could use??

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/02/2018 13:39

I think I see another problem:

The DC are on mid terms now and are back after the party date so probably too late to resend invitations

You are having the party during half term when everyone will be away! Still doesn't excuse the lack of RSVP's but at least now you know the reason.

MissDuke · 09/02/2018 13:45

Ahh op what a nightmare! I can see why this will have caused a lot of confusion if you wrote a different name on the invitations to what she is known by. Whoops! Well its done now, either you need to try and find the parents on FB and send a follow up reminder or you are going to have to just hope for the best on the day. You really should have chased them all up in the playground before half term. I know you shouldn't have to chase them but really you are left with no choice when the cheeky buggers don't reply.

Lesson learned for next year! Fingers crossed a few come and dd has a lovely party

frozenlake · 09/02/2018 13:45

My DS is known at school by a different name to his registered birth name, so all invites have his known name on. Having watched people try and host parties during half term I have decided that numbers are really impacted by this, we try and pick a good date for the party which because DC are born in school holidays is months from their birthday but they have a great time and don't seem to care. We are obviously lucky because we always get responses to invites!

lulusayshello · 09/02/2018 14:09

Tbh this does sound a bit confusing, if they might know your dd by a different name. Could you send round another note saying "Sorry if anyone was confused by the party invitation - we call dd x at home but you probably know her as y." then you also get a chance to repeat the request to let you know without it sounding rude. I've had similar clarifying notes & have sent them myself when I put the wrong postcode on an invite.

diddl · 09/02/2018 14:33

Looking back- if she insists on spelling her name "Eloise", does she now wish to be called that if "Louise" is "wrong" & "not her name"?

ittakes2 · 10/02/2018 17:29

Did you included a deadline date for them to rsvp by or just include your contact details?

pollymere · 10/02/2018 17:38

My dd has always been known by her short form which is a name in it's own right...but more on the Daisy/Margaret sort than it being in the actual name. Her school uniform name tapes have her proper name in so her clothes have always ended up in lost property as unnamed items. Her new school has them as named items but take ages working out who she is! If I'd sent out invites using her name no one would have known who they were from. Only later did they kids start shouting out to teachers using her proper name "you mean xxx!". I've also worked where kids are known by their middle name informally. I sort of get both sides. I think you needed to put her pet name in brackets on the invite, sorry. Although, you do generally need to ask people or send messages via class rep or whatsapp to actually find out who is coming anyway.

Maireadplastic · 10/02/2018 17:56

There's also a girl with an Irish name that doesn't look even slightly similar to how it's pronounced

You know that it does look right if you're Irish, don't you?!

thisisillyria · 10/02/2018 18:04

Dd2 has a name with a common shortened version, which starts with a different letter from her full name (eg Isabella, Bella). She was always known by the short version at school. She had a friend move to the school from another country. The friend's official name was on the school register, and on all her school books, but she explained that she was known by another name (completely different and apparently unrelated to the official name). Dd2 and her friends thought this was very unusual and told her so (not unkindly!). One day the girls were collecting their books back from the teacher, and the friend saw that Dd2's book had her full name on the front, and couldn't understand at all why the girls had had a problem with her names when Dd2 clearly had two names as well! They were all very amused by it.

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 10/02/2018 18:24

My son has an unusual name and we have no confusion. Maybe that was just an excuse. People are strange sometimes. Don’t threat about the late reply’s. Last year I gave my daughters invites out before the summer holiday because her birthday is early September. People didn’t let me know till the day before.

Wannabecitygirl · 10/02/2018 18:51

“Am I the only person with a child who a) forgets what day it is, and b) sends their kid to any party to which they have an invite”

Me too. Ds only started school this Sept. Twice I’ve gone to parties not knowing the birthday boy, both time DS didn’t know them either 😂

Tillybilly1 · 10/02/2018 19:15

I always used to chase invites now make it clear need to know by a certain date to be able to accommodate on day, those who don't rsvp don't get to come as normally have to pay in advance for parties these days. I find it very rude those who don't rsvp, it needs to be clear on invite but there will always be someone who doesn't get invite or doesn't want to come or can't be bothered to reply etc

MaggieS41 · 10/02/2018 21:24

Don’t care what the excuse is. RSVP. Nobody’s life is that chaotic that they can’t do that one simple thing. If you can dress, feed and take your child to school then you can bloody RSVP.

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