Should money given to dd for medical procedure be deducted from inheritance?

[dorolee]

I thought I’d ask for will advice after seeing a recent thread where posters were really helpful on the issue of whether to divide equally between dc. I want to make sure I’m being fair.

Dh and I have 2 daughters, both married with kids of their own - at present, our will divides everything between them equally.

Dd1’s daughter had severe scoliosis and needed surgery - the family decided that the surgery available in America would be better for her than the NHS operation, as it allowed her to retain some flexibility in her back.

We gave about £90,000 to dd1’s family to cover about half of the cost, dd1’s husband’s parents gave the other half. This was a few years ago now.

My question is, when dividing our assets between our two dd’s family, should we consider the £90,000 as part of dd1’s inheritance given early, and therefore leave £90,000 more to dd2, or should we divide our assets as they are equally, as the money was to fund a medical procedure?

Divide equally ignoring the medical costs.

I wouldn’t take it into account , you gave money so your granddaughter could have a better quality of life , it’s not like they used it to buy a house / car .

I would divide equally as it was for a medical procedure. If it was something like a car or house deposit I would take it into account, but not for a medical.procedure that would have been needed one way or another

It depends if the money was a loan or a gift. Dh and bil both borrowed money from pil and the outstanding balance when pil die will be taken from their inheritance. We have paid back dh's loan but bil hasn't as far as I know so dh will get more money than bil when they die.

I would split equally. A medical procedure for DGD is very different from money for a house purchase

Be upfront with both your DC about what your intentions are, so they aren’t making incorrect assumptions

Ignore the medical costs & divide equally.

No advice but how do two separate families have £90k each and then still money to leave!!! I’m loving a different life I think.
It’s lovely that you were both able to do this for your granddaughter and if you have that much money that you could help I would discount it.

Divide it equally. However, for the rest of your Grandchildren, be open towards giving them similar help should they either have times of need or if they need help to pursue a specific talent. That might give you opportunity to even it up a bit and would also be a nice thing to do.

Agree with others that you should split equally. To be honest if you are asking the question then it sounds like a fairly significant inheritance anyway.

Split it equally.

Does DD2 have DC/is she likely to have any?

I'd have thought it depends a little on what was said at the time. Did everyone accept that it was a gift or was their discussion about it being inheritance? If not is there a reason why you are 'changing your mind' now about it being a gift?

Absolutely not. If I were dd2 I would be horrified to be given more because my niece needed treatment. Split the rest.

I’d ignore the medical cost. If it was for vanity I’d think twice but since it was for health I’d ignore.

I think it depends how much your planning on leaving? 100,000 with 90 given away... And ten grand left to split.. May cause issues.

But several hundred thousand... Don't worry about it.

What's left is what's left no one should count on inheritance and if you get a few quid... Be thankful...

Pumpkin many people in my large family could do the same.

But I can't I care not and don't even think about it. Do you all think we live the same life???

Divide the money you have left equally.

It was a surgery in America...not designer clothes and fast cars.

I guess you could always word the will somehow to state that if DD2 or her child(ren) needed money for surgery required to preserve or enhance the quality of life, up to £90k would be deducted to help fund that, with the residue split equally between DD1 and DD2?

So provided no major health problems surface on that branch of the family, everything is split 50:50? Would that work?

You weren't funding your DD's lifestyle! You were helping your granddaughter get a life-changing, much needed surgery!

Please divide the estate evenly. Don't punish your DD for having a child with medical needs, which is what splitting your estate unevenly would essentially say.

no question - divide equally.

good advice so far. Divide equally. How lovely you were in a position to help your DGD. Hope she's okay now.

God no! Ignore it and divide equally.

No, I don't think it should.

You helped your granddaughter.

Sure, if you just look at it from a financial point of view that might be seen as "unfair". But your other children and grandchildren were lucky enough to not need a surgery like that (I assume?).

I guess you could always word the will somehow to state that if DD2 or her child(ren) needed money for surgery required to preserve or enhance the quality of life, up to £90k would be deducted to help fund that, with the residue split equally between DD1 and DD2?

So provided no major health problems surface on that branch of the family, everything is split 50:50? Would that work?

I like this suggestion.

Absolutely divide equally. I would never resent the extra money my DM has spent supporting my sister's medical needs. I would be horrified to receive more inheritance for that reason. Family is about helping when it's needed and you can.