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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when did you first feel like an adult?

104 replies

ArgfromTowie · 07/02/2018 21:45

I saw in the paper about 50 signs you are an adult , so just wondering when you first felt like one

I think the first time was getting my first job and obviously pay check

OP posts:
Wobblebeans · 08/02/2018 14:10

I'm 27 and despite having 3 kids to keep alive and stuff I still don't feel like an adult Confused

Katedotness1963 · 08/02/2018 14:25

When I read the news in the paper and not just the cartoons and kids page.

The first time I earned enough to pay tax. My mum laughed for years about how proud I was to have deductions on my pay slip.

AmethystRaven · 08/02/2018 14:27

When I bought a gravy boat. I was 32 Grin

storynanny · 08/02/2018 14:29

Didnt really feel adult until I sorted out my mortgage after divorce. Think I quite often felt I was just playing at being a grown up with my babies before that.
I really feel grown up adult when I look after my grandchildren and also after my elderly parents died last year. For the first time at age of 61 I dont have my dad to ask advice from.

jasmin93 · 08/02/2018 14:30

Sometimes I (24) feel like I am good at "adulting". But as soon as I visit my parents abroad, i am their "unexperienced" child again who has lots to learn. Envy

Bumbumtaloo · 08/02/2018 14:42

For me it was when we got our first cat (we have 2 now) he’s going to be 9 in August.

Getting jobs, houses, two children, married, joint bank accounts etc nothing seems as ‘grown up’ as looking after him for life.

Anditstartsagain · 08/02/2018 14:44

When my MIL called me for advice I suddenly though oh shit i'm one of the grown ups now, I was 30 with 2 kids.

Snowysky20009 · 08/02/2018 14:55

I had ds1 at 19, moved out at 18 and so on. But it was when ds1 (6) and ds2 (18 months), and I found nan collapsed, whilst my uncle who had Down's syndrome was at the day centre. My mum who was their carer was on a weeks holiday, and I was also working full time.

Que me at the hospital with nan and ds2, rushing to pick up ds1 from school, rushing home for my uncle, then organising time off with work etc.

I can remember feeling all alone, and so resentful of my brother and cousins who never helped with any of it. I did have dp who was brilliant, and stayed with the boys in the night then bringing them to me at nans in the morning before work. So I wasn't entirely alone- I just felt I was abandened by my family, because I could just get on with it. But dealing with the hospital etc was the turning point for me because suddenly I was also 'in charge' of nan and my uncle, not just my children.

crackerjacket · 08/02/2018 15:21

I'm starting to feel like one now.

I'm nearly 36.

Minestheoneinthegreen · 08/02/2018 15:32

Confirming a DNR on my grandmother as next of kin. There'd been grown up stuff before that, but that was a real "I have no one in the world who can do this other than me" moment.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 08/02/2018 15:33

When my mum was dying and I had to sign for her morphine at the chemist. I was 28.

Sarahh2014 · 08/02/2018 15:42

Well I had hoped it was when I had ds who now 4 but no I'm 37 who still doesn't feel like a 'proper' grown up

EscapeFromHubby · 08/02/2018 15:47

I first felt like an adult when I was enrolled in the pension scheme of a previous employer.

I was 31.

joystir59 · 08/02/2018 15:54

When my mum died. I was 20

movingtowardsthelight · 08/02/2018 16:20

Still waiting to feel like an adult.....my son feels older than me now. It’s quite odd.

Nearly 50.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/02/2018 16:31

The other day my mum said to me 'we're going to have to get you a new winter coat'.

I'm 43.

I think you probably finally feel like an adult when you are no longer someone's child, as so many have said ,Sad

LostinLSpace · 08/02/2018 16:36

Can infer back to you?...
I think I sometimes get flashes of being a grown up but secretly I'm still waiting for the mantle of calm wisdom and general "adultness" to fall gently upon me and honestly I'm just waiting for someone to suddenly realise, point and shout loudly to everyone that I'm an imposter! BlushGrin

LostinLSpace · 08/02/2018 16:38

I get back to you sorry, autocorrect fail!

MrsHathaway · 08/02/2018 16:43

I get fleeting moments of it.

But the crashing "holy fuck I'm a responsible adult" moment was when I took my DC to BIL and SIL's to meet four-day-old DN, my DCs' first ever first cousin. None of the adultier adults were around so I was the most experienced parent in the building and suddenly felt like it. At one point I was holding DN in that one-handed standing up careless third-child way and I realised BIL and SIL were looking at me in a mixture of awe and horror. I remembered my pfb-ness and used my other hand completely redundantly as well. But oh I felt like a proper grown up!

barefoofdoctor · 08/02/2018 16:46

Driving on the motorway with my DD in - just felt mega grown up and responsible (was 35Grin ) Listening to gardeners' World while cleaning the kitchen.

WellTidy · 08/02/2018 16:46

When I started buying things for my first flat. Until then, I'd only ever lived at home or in fully furnished rented accommodation. I moved into my flat with a bookcase, chest of drawers and two tables out of a nest of three. After I was paid every month, I bought an item of furniture. Bed was top of the list. My parents bought me two sofas. Then I added a fining rable one month, chairs the next, sideboard the next etc. Choosing things that I liked and that co-ordinated made me feel so grown up. I had the home catalogues from every shop on the high street and would spend ages looking at them and making choices. It was such a lovely time. I was so grateful for what I had and treasured it.

Commuterface · 08/02/2018 17:25

When I was in sixth form and a group of us went out for a meal before Christmas. It was a fancyish restaurant and just seemed like such a grown up thing to do. We were 16/17.

BonesyBones · 08/02/2018 17:29

I'm 26 and started feeling like a proper adult in the past year or so. I've lived with my partner for 8 years now and we have 3 children. I left home at 15. I always felt caught in a trap between feeling like a teen and needing to act like an adult but now the people my age are finally at similar points in their lives (moving out of the family home and having kids) and I feel like I'm in the "right" place now. Really looking forward to my 30s.

StoatofDisarray · 08/02/2018 17:33

When I renegotiated my mortgage last month. I’m 51...

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 08/02/2018 17:34

When DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So 39.