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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I make a complaint whilst still an inpatient and very sick?

161 replies

Christmastits · 07/02/2018 02:14

I had my catheter removed today by a health care assistant.

She said I had to press the buzzer when I needed to pee, so I did. I can't walk unaided because I'm
Very weak and I'm on oxygen. So I need a commode or a bed pan.

I pressed the buzzer and 15 separate times a staff member came in and turned off the buzzer and said they'd be back in a bit. The last one told me to wait and unplugged the buzzer

I pissed myself in a hospital bed at the age of 26. I actually pissed myself. I was so humiliated. I feel so ashamed.

I pressed the buzzer and nothing happened so I had to wait for someone to come into my room which was another hour or so. I did shout but the door was shut due to infection control.

She came back eventually and told me off for peeing myself, and then outside the door called me a dirty cow.

Then to add insult to injury 3 hours later the dr came by and asked where my catheter was as I'm still on hourly urines.. so I've been re- catheterised so the whole thing was pointless.

Anyway. How do I go about making a formal complaint without making my care worse? I want to discharge myself and go home but that's not an option.

OP posts:
ShakeTheDisease · 11/02/2018 13:41

LifeBegins couldn't disagree more. Of course if there were patient emergencies taking place (and I've been on wards where patients have gone into cardiac arrest and so on) they'd take priority at that time. But the very fact that staff were able to come in 15 times and switch off the buzzer undermines that. If they'd all been occupied all that time with urgent care they wouldn't even have been able to do that. They absolutely had time to bring a bedpan, they just wanted to make a point to OP about how busy they were and get her to feel guilty. Rather like your post, really...

Bechetdiagnosed · 11/02/2018 16:12

LifeBeginsAtGin

Your compassion overwhelms me Hmm

There always one person able and willing to kick you whilst you are down Angry

Get well soon OP Flowers

ichifanny · 11/02/2018 16:44

That’s disgusting , I’m a nurse and would never unplug someone’s buzzer , wards can be busy and perhaps there was an emergency going on , even so the way they then spoke to you is disgusting . Ask to speak to the nurse co ordinator for the hospital .

ichifanny · 11/02/2018 16:46

As a nurse A patient pressing a buzzer 15 times does seem excessive but when you answer the buzzer yet don’t remedy the persons problem what the hell do you expect them to do ?

TinaMena · 11/02/2018 18:13

The carer in question has been suspended. And actually the horrible atmosphere on the ward has gone.
Sounds like there's history there and they were waiting for someone to make a complaint

TinaMena · 11/02/2018 18:18

As a nurse you should know some patients can be really poorly, and they take priority over time and other patients needing the toilet. Wetting the bed is unpleasant but not an emergency.
Surely if there was an emergency, or some other more important reason, that would be explained to the patient

EnlightenedOwl · 11/02/2018 18:21

Being left to pee yourself isn't just unpleasant its demeaning and results in total loss of whatever dignity you have left. Also can cause really serious problems if you're left lying in it for hours.

isadoradancing123 · 11/02/2018 21:27

Nurses are forever complaining that they are too busy, well too busy doing what, patients not being washed, left on bedpans, left in wet or soiled beds, patients waiting for medication, what are they busy doing?

Mxyzptlk · 11/02/2018 23:50

Wetting the bed is unpleasant but not an emergency.
As far as I can tell, the OP was given no hint that there was any emergency taking priority, just told that someone would be in soon, which they weren't.
At the very least, couldn't one of the staff who switched off the buzzer have shoved an incontinence pad under her while explaining they were rushed off their feet (if they were).

TinaMena · 12/02/2018 13:23

Nurses are forever complaining that they are too busy, well too busy doing what,
Busy complaining. It takes a lot of time to complain, you know. Where I work, if you've got time to complain, you aren't working hard enough

LifeBeginsAtGin · 12/02/2018 14:03

the OP was given no hint that there was any emergency taking priority,

Yes, it would have been appropriate to let patients know, but on the other hand they do not have to a running update. It doesn't help the staff when patients are continuously ringing the bell. As a HCP the OP should know this.

TinaMena · 12/02/2018 17:28

It doesn't help the staff when patients are continuously ringing the bell.
No, but it's the staffs' job to look after the patients

ItsNachoCheese · 12/02/2018 17:32

I hope you are feeling better christmastits i was following your other thread and was 😡😡 at the nurse. She doesnt sound like she has any decent bedside manner at all

gussyfinknottle · 12/02/2018 17:38

Any health professional who doesn't realise how it feels to wet the bed; how it can cause sores and can delay your recovery because your morale is hammered by it - well, they aren't much of a health professional.

honeyrider · 12/02/2018 18:38

I pressed the buzzer and 15 separate times a staff member came in and turned off the buzzer and said they'd be back in a bit. The last one told me to wait and unplugged the buzzer

The time taken to go to the OP's room and switch off the buzzer x 15 times would have been more than enough time to have helped the OP and that's before adding in the time to change the bedding and clean the OP. It's a horrible way to treat a patient.

Anneofgreengableslondon · 12/02/2018 21:03

How awful!!!
But sadly I am not surprised.
A few years ago I was in a similar situation, doctors and nurses calling me behind my back and lying about me.
Ever since every medical appointment I have I record what is said,
Doctors and nurses do lie and are sometimes extremely cruel.
The majority are good but not ALL
Some of the do have a god complex.
Good luck OP Delfinatly complain

Mxyzptlk · 13/02/2018 13:03

Exactly honeyrider.

If they were really only grabbing a spare second to rush in and switch off the buzzer, they could surely have also managed to say "I'm sorry, we're super busy just now." And could also have apologised to the OP, when there was finally time to help her.

Mxyzptlk · 13/02/2018 13:06

Maybe most of the staff, other than the hca who removed the catheter, were under the impression that the catheter was still in.
Then, as they rushed in and saw the OP apparently all right, they thought she didn't need immediate attention.
It's possible.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 13/02/2018 13:21

lifebegins Where do you work and what is your role? I seriously hope you work in an office alone somewhere because someone with your attitude would be dangerous on a ward. You certainly wouldn't last 5 min on my ward as I would have you out the door. There clearly was no imaginary emergency taking place because she had time to come into the room 15 times!! Also this is clearly an auxiliary we are talking about who wouldn't have a role to play in a cardiac arrest situation so should be free to attend to patients and their toileting needs.

Christmastits · 14/02/2018 01:12

It was definitely a health care assistant, I asked for a commode, help to go to the loo, a pad, and a bedpan. All separate times. They just kept saying they were busy.

I was on hi flow oxygen and in HDU for 3 weeks. I hadn't walked or got out of bed even since I was admitted so I needed help to walk and I had oxygen so I needed help. It was unacceptable. I have had apologies but that's not enough.

I've worked with shocking staff before and never had a problem reporting them, because it's my PIN on the line if they screw up. There are loads of good HCAS and some awful ones and the awful ones should put you on edge.

If that hca has no problem in not helping a young and otherwise fit and healthy person, what will they be like with a confused vulnerable person? And are they doing OBS properly? Are they just writing down any old shit?

I've made a complaint and I'll be seeing it through to the end. Either with her discipline/ dismissal or proof of retraining

OP posts:
cannotmakemymindup · 14/02/2018 02:03

Following both your threads and just wanted to do a literal air 👊 punch!
christmastits It is ridiculous that you have even needed to explain yourself on this thread. You are clearly competent.

I hope you continue to improve health wise and thankyou for complaining about the hca as you are probably saving some of us from experiencing terrible care at her hands.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 14/02/2018 04:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Charolais · 14/02/2018 05:11

A bit of a funny story; after my last surgery they had these new beds that played ‘Mary had a little lamb’ at the nurses station if you got out of bed - or fell out of it. Even though I could get out of bed by myself and walk to the toilet I needed to tell them I was getting out of bed so they could ignore ‘Mary had a little lamb’.

Needing to go really bad they were not answering my intercom call so, being unable to hold it any longer, I got up and walked to the loo. The nurse upon hearing ‘Mary had a fucking little lamb’ and come running in, bursting through the curtain just as I got to it and almost sent me flying - she caught me as I toppled backwards. I just had another back surgery the day before. We had a laugh about it anyway. For some reason they couldn’t disable the nursery rhyme. (This is in the U.S.)

I’ve had many surgeries on various body parts and most of the nurses were angels but I’ve had a few bad ones. I had a nurse after my second from last surgery who was an evil bitch. I had to call my husband in the middle of the night to ask him to come and help me. It was really awful.

I’m so glad you got them to take action and hopefully it won’t happen to another person. I pity the people who can’t stand up for themselves in these situations.

Christmastits · 14/02/2018 12:24

Wow a deleted comment.. but weird!

OP posts:
sportyfool · 14/02/2018 12:29

How are you now @Christmastits ? I saw your other thread but can't find it now . My freind is very poorly in a similar situation . Are you still in hospital ?

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