How do I make a complaint whilst still an inpatient and very sick?

[Christmastits]

I had my catheter removed today by a health care assistant.

She said I had to press the buzzer when I needed to pee, so I did. I can't walk unaided because I'm
Very weak and I'm on oxygen. So I need a commode or a bed pan.

I pressed the buzzer and 15 separate times a staff member came in and turned off the buzzer and said they'd be back in a bit. The last one told me to wait and unplugged the buzzer

I pissed myself in a hospital bed at the age of 26. I actually pissed myself. I was so humiliated. I feel so ashamed.

I pressed the buzzer and nothing happened so I had to wait for someone to come into my room which was another hour or so. I did shout but the door was shut due to infection control.

She came back eventually and told me off for peeing myself, and then outside the door called me a dirty cow.

Then to add insult to injury 3 hours later the dr came by and asked where my catheter was as I'm still on hourly urines.. so I've been re- catheterised so the whole thing was pointless.

Anyway. How do I go about making a formal complaint without making my care worse? I want to discharge myself and go home but that's not an option.

Sorry to read what you've been going through, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself for the MC.

Try not to worry about your care after complaining. My mum was in hospital last week and was left without anyone checking on her for hours (she was in a room on her own). She ran out of water and couldn't find the buzzer.
She complained to one of the staff and they were very apologetic, and after that, they all made sure she was being checked regularly and was happy with her care.

Wishing you all the best.

Xanxd

Report it if you don't believe it. OP has a previous thread about her stay in hospital.

I remember your other thread, sorry you are still there

please do NOT troll hunt on a thread from someone who is so unwell, this is the follow up to a long thread Christmasitis has had running about her illness, there is no reason to doubt her, and she has had a truly crap time.

I am so sorry to hear about this Christmas, glad your dh is still being amazing.
I woudl think that a bit of well placed complaining would improve your care, if anything.

How are you now OP ?

Did they know you wanted the toilet?

I’m surprised at the number of people saying don’t escalate. That’s exactly how this kind of thing continues.

Keep a timeline of everything write down or on your phone and speak to matron / pals.

Hope you feeling better

She came back eventually and told me off for peeing myself, and then outside the door called me a dirty cow.

That person should not be working with patients at all.

Please, OP. Make a statement with this. If she’s like that with you, how might she “care” for a vulnerability elderly or disabled person who has no one to stand up for him/her? YOU have a voice. When you’re well enough, please use it.

I was a nurse for 26 years. Saw some great care and some care I wouldn’t subject my dog to. I made an official complaint about a fellow sister and and went through hell for almost 2 years whilst it was investigated. My RCN rep was fantastic and just encouraged me, all the way. It was horribly stressful and I was treated very badly but in the end, the health authority had to give me a written apology and thank me for my whistle blowing; the nurse in question was not struck off the register but returned to her country of origin and I’d do it again, if needs be.

could you enlist an "angry relative" - not DP but maybe mum to fight for you? when our prem baby (now a healthy 23year old) was left in dirty sheets I felt I couldn't complain as she was so vulnerable, but my SIL contacted the hospital, making it clear that I didn't know she was complaining.... just a thought? x

That is absolutely disgraceful and I'm so sorry for you, it must have been so humiliating. I hope you do make a serious complaint.

Having your DH take notes will get everyone's back up

Good maybe then they will do their jobs properly.

However pressured they are there is absolutely no excuse for their conduct. The nurse involved needs to be disciplined. Not getting to the buzzer is one thing - making nasty comments is quite another. My mother experienced something similar but not as bad - she had an operation and the consultant asked the ward nurse to get her a cup of tea when she came round. Once he was out of earshot she said to my mum she wasn't getting a cup of tea because the time for making cups of tea was over for the day, in a very nasty way. We didn't complain because my mum only mentioned it a few months later, but I absolutely would have done if I had known at the time.

And why on earth would staff treat staff badly? It makes no sense at all but there was an article in the Sunday Times a few weeks ago about the bad experiences a doctor had. You'd think they'd make an effort with colleagues, but clearly not.

For all the snidey comments about "your work there, surely you know about PALS" the OP's question was NOT "How do I complain?" but how she could complain whilst still on that ward without making her care worse. Which is a different thing.

Hope you are feeling better OP.

Removing or disabling a buzzer is neglect, that must be reported. You poor thing, it sounds awful there, have you spoken to ward manager, pals or site manager yet. You should try and find out who told the hca to remove the catheter.

That HCA shouldn't be in her job if she can't cope with body fluids. Please do report her.

I know how to make a complaint. I just wanted advice how to do it as a patient and still receiving care.

Thanks anyway I spoke to the nurse in charge today and she's going to speak to the hca and start a formal investigation into it

Having been bedbound in hospital in Oct after surgery,I use a wheelchair normally anyway, and needing help to get to loo, get off the loo (sorry TMI ), and many other things, indeed you feel so exposed and vulnerable.

Even though OP works in same hospital, and would normally recognise chain of command/PALS etc, given what she has been through it's hardly surprising she isn't automatically recognising it.

Definitely push this OP, and I really hope you get better soon, and recognition/action of this horrific lack of care.

Having been in an SAU Ward multiple times over the past year, and surgical wards, there are some staff who are truly incredible - I've taken flowers/chocs to one particular ward - I've had a couple who couldn't give a toss, I had a charge nurse, sorry charge bitch, argue the toss with me about receiving painkillers, that had been prescribed by my surgeon - a very senior consultant at the hosp. Matron was great about it, said nurse was "dealt with".

There are some really dreadful people working on healthcare, I don't know why they do it. I hope you are now getting the level of care you deserve, are you able to change wards, i am hoping that hca is not to look after you.

So sorry for you. How horrible! This must be escalated to matron at the very least. Wishing you a swift recovery x

So sorry to hear this OP x

christmastits I'm so sorry ((unmumsnetty hugs)).

A nurse left my DM on a trachy (so couldn't talk / shout for help) in her own mess for over two hours. Shed took her buzzer off her 'because she was being annoying' and the only way she could grab someone's attention was by tapping her toothbrush repeatedly on the table. They couldn't hear her because the nurse had closed the curtains on her. Thankfully My DMs BF used to be an SRN and went fucking nuclear at her, then I did, and we were both mild compared to when my Grandma (DMs Mum found out). That nurse was not allowed to care for my mum for the rest of her stay.

Dont go through PALs, it'll be swept under the carpet (voice of bitter experience when I had a nurse bitch about me in front of me - who's have thought being partially deaf means I still could hear you... ).

The NHS is amazing and most are lovely but it is not infallible, staff are still human, some are knackered, still human and some are just plain arses. Those arses need pulling up on it everytime.

OP.

OP, I wouldn’t go beyond seeing a senior patient representative and making your complain official, for the record, as it were. I would then leave it until I was well and then proceed. You don’t want to so vulnerable (hospitalised and feeling so ill) whilst trying to go through the actual process of complaint. Don’t have your DH make notes. I’d just have him there as witness to what you want to put across and their initial response. You cannot go ten rounds with PALS from your sickbed.

IWillStart 😡. Yep, heard all of this before. Shocking and inhumane and it will continue.

I've seen first hand how many staff treat the old and vulnerable.

They are de sensitised unfortunately and couldn't care less