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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a place of my own but not know if I can afford it?

48 replies

QuestionableMouse · 06/02/2018 18:17

I'm sick of living with other people. I'm almost 33, and would love a place of my own. I'm currently living in uni accommodation and to be honest, I hate living with a stranger. We have nothing on common and don't really get along.

I just want a little space that's my own but I don't think I can afford it. I'd rather not lay out my finances on here but from what I've worked out, it would be very tight. I haven't looked into benefits or anything yet.

I'm scared of getting into more debt (owe 2.5k on a credit card due to a household emergency). My biggest outgoing after that is my car (which I need for work).

Sorry, I'm rambling I know. Aibu for not wanting to share?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 06/02/2018 18:20

How on earth can anyone on here advise you if you won’t give details of your finances?

4strikes · 06/02/2018 18:20

Yanbu to want your own space. I couldn’t have shared after 25ish!!

Without knowing any more detail it’s hard to give advice. Could you move to a cheaper area?

Vitalogy · 06/02/2018 18:21

Would a house share cost more? At least you'd have your own bedroom, even though sharing kitchen/bathroom still.

eharp · 06/02/2018 18:21

YABU to have not worked out a budget and looked at available housing in the area you want to live in to decide if it's realistic to live alone. It may well be attainable - but without making a budget and doing some research how are you supposed to know?

scurryfunge · 06/02/2018 18:21

For the short term do you think you could flat share with friends so at least you'd be living with people you know and like?

MatildaTheCat · 06/02/2018 18:23

How much as a percentage of your income would rent be, then bills? Nobody can advise without this.

Of course YANBU to want to live alone.

WTFIsThisVirus · 06/02/2018 18:25

All you have to do is work out a budget, and then look for what is available. You're 33, so I can only assume you know how to do that.

Without any more information, how can anyone help? Hmm

fruitbrewhaha · 06/02/2018 18:28

Find a house share with people you like it can be fun, I have great memories of house shares.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 06/02/2018 18:46

Sorry, I didn't say it in those terms but I have worked out a budget. on a monthly basis it would be tight financially, especially with fitting work around uni commitments.

There are some things I can't realistically budget for because I don't know how much they'd cost (like heating, power, council tax)

I live in a fairly cheap area as it is; I could get a house to rent for about £300/month.

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 06/02/2018 18:48

What exactly do you want from the thread?

How can anyone possibly say if it’s realistic with no idea of finances?

Yanbu to want your own space, fuck knows if it’s possible

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 06/02/2018 18:52

Mate, why the attitude? If you don't like this, there are thousands of other things you could read. I will post the figures I've got when I can convince the site to let me.

OP posts:
falsepriest · 06/02/2018 18:59

Let's ask 8-Ball...

Glitterball Reply hazy, try again.

Damn!

Pearlsaringer · 06/02/2018 19:01

Difficult to advise with no info but are there any housing associations, charities, low cost housing schemes etc that you could register with?

Also decide what matters to you most. You might have to weigh up whether you want to live in a tiny one room studio on your own, or a slightly bigger place that you share. It sounds like you and your flat mate aren’t a great fit, but If you found somewhere with people you liked it could be a completely different experience.

gussyfinknottle · 06/02/2018 19:07

Where do you live? Generally. There is another thread where someone has developed real emotional turmoil about similar stuff. she is in London. Not saying everywhere in the North is cheap (bloody isn't) but relocation might be worth considering.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 06/02/2018 19:40

Sunderland currently, and I'm tied here for another few years while I finish Uni.

It doesn't help that I don't know the first thing about benefits. There's a local advice service but it's hard to get an appointment.

OP posts:
Tinkerbec · 06/02/2018 19:42

If you do say a rough budget there are a lot of wise people on here who do know about benefits.

Trills · 06/02/2018 19:46

You can figure out what council tax would cost by going to your council's website. Remember you'd get 25% off as a single person.
If you're a full time student, you'd pay no council tax at all.

I live in a one bed flat in a newish block.
I pay £40 a month for gas+electric.
Water rates are included in my service charge (if you were renting you'd not pay this, your landlord would), the last place I rented water was about £25/month.
Contents insurance is about £5 a month (paid yearly)
You'll also probably want a TV license (£145/year) and broadband (look on moneysavingexpert.com for deals)

MrsGrindah · 06/02/2018 19:49

“ Why the attitude?” Wow. That’s a really nice way to respond. You asked if you were being unreasonable for not wanting to share and people were saying it was difficult to say so without knowing more. People have no obligation to respond in the manner you like.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 06/02/2018 19:55

I don't think I posted anything worthy of being sworn at, do you? Or to deserve the sarcastic responses given?

I'm not comfortable posting my finances on here where anyone could read them. I don't suppose many people would be.

I guess I was hoping for some general advice and I have had some which is very helpful.

OP posts:
Trills · 06/02/2018 19:56

I'm not comfortable posting my finances on here where anyone could read them. I don't suppose many people would be.

Loads of people do this. You change to a name you've never used before, and nobody will know it's you.

Tinkerbec · 06/02/2018 19:59

I'm not comfortable posting my finances on here where anyone could read them. I don't suppose many people would be.

If you have ever looked at Martin Lewis money saving expert or the money forum on here then that would be incorrect. Loads post a lot of detail on there down to the last penny.

4strikes · 06/02/2018 20:00

Can you say how much your current rent is? And how much an average 1bed is near you?

I think, if it would make you a lot happier, it would be worth some sacrifice in other areas.

Things like water, gas/electricity, council tax are all easy to estimate. Then we could give you a rough idea of it is feasible.

MrsGrindah · 06/02/2018 20:00

Nobody swore AT you though. Many people on here can give really good budgeting advice either from their personal or professional experience but you have to meet them half way otherwise it’s all a bit vague and pointless.

Trills · 06/02/2018 20:03

YABU to "not know" whether you can afford it, because it is a completely knowable thing.

It would not be unreasonable to say "I don't know how to work this out, can you help me?" but in order for us to do that you will need to talk more specifically.

Enidblyton1 · 06/02/2018 20:08

It's pretty simple OP.
Work out how much money you have coming in each month. Have a look at local flats to rent. See if you can afford it.
If you can't, put up with sharing until you finish university. After university, get a job and then rent somewhere by yourself.

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