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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To be struggling with school uniform costs

194 replies

pizzatuesdays · 06/02/2018 16:53

DD managed to get mud all over her blazer and skirt.

I just can't afford to get them cleaned. So i sent her in without the blazer and a note. She has been put in isolation tomorrow.

I am really sick of it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Tarraleaha · 06/02/2018 18:23

I also know a few parents who didn't take into account the full cost of private school, and only budgeted for the school fees... but I have less sympathy because they don't have to send their kids there.

The ones I know still ran "Nearly new sale" of uniforms anyway.

State school is less of a choice, and as much as I support mandatory uniforms, expensive blazers might be a bit too much.

Ivymaud · 06/02/2018 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaisyPops · 06/02/2018 18:26

Its very likely they WILL care about finances and will help
We've helped families out because there was a need and we want our pupils to be able to access school.

Some we funded/reduced the cost of Duke of Edinburgh
Some we've bought equipment to enable them to take their sport to county level.
Some we've provided school equipment
Some we've loaned uniform to.

It can be done but it is something you have to ask about because it's not a bottomless pit of money.

foodtime · 06/02/2018 18:27

OP please ignore the twats giving you a hard time on here. They absolutely understand your not asking for advice on cleaning but are using that as an excuse to be nasty.
They are so miserable in their own lives that that have to be nasty to others on the internet. It’s embarrassing.

You sound like a caring mother and the school is 100% in the wrong. I know you don’t think it would help, but I would call in the morning to explain the situation over the phone.

Ivymaud · 06/02/2018 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 06/02/2018 18:30

They are so miserable in their own lives that that have to be nasty to others on the internet. It’s embarrassing

Defo Hun

sportyfool · 06/02/2018 18:32

I'm not trying to be nasty , I'm genuinely trying to help . I met soooo many people that didn't realise their clothing was washable .. especially school blazers . They come out the wash practically dry so are easily ready for the next day . The reason I asked about private school is they are usually wool but it's very unlikely at a state school for them to be anything other than polyester but the label may still say dry clean to avoid over zealous washing.

Tarraleaha · 06/02/2018 18:32

Isn't there some parents groups or PTA and a way to get a second hand blazer?

The secondary school where my eldest go have a stock of second hand uniforms ready for the sale. There's at least one each term.

theduchessstill · 06/02/2018 18:34

So many awful replies on this thread. OP, I loved your response to the poster who asked if you were poor/asking for money. I didn't get the impression you were asking for money at all, and I think it would be utterly ludicrous to get into debt over a poxy blazer, or have to ring round everyone you know to get money for the bloody thing.

As a teacher I hate blazers - they're impractical, ugly and too expensive for many people to easily afford. They ought to be abolished!

Talkingfrog · 06/02/2018 18:35

Yanbu.

I can understand why schools have uniform rules but there has to be some level of discretion used before punishment is issued, which there doesn't appear to be here.

You are only trying to do right by your dd. If it was explained in a note the school should have allowed some days grace for it to be cleaned or provided a spare if they have one. They could have contacted you if necessary.

It would not be fair to your dd to send her to school on a blazer that bad, and I am sure the cleaners wouldn't be happy either.

I can understand why people were trying to give advice on cleaning the blazer at first, but you have been clear since as to why that is not needed.

For what it's worth, I don't rate my chances at getting a blazer that badly marked, clean without getting it done professionally.

I assume there is someone responsible for pastoral care. You you request to speak to them to fully discuss the situation.

Depending on the circumstances it may also be worth looking on your council website to see if there is any help you can get with uniform costs.

stickytoffeevodka · 06/02/2018 18:37

Bloody hell some of the responses on here are awful.

Rachie1973 · 06/02/2018 18:38

MaisyPops
Its very likely they WILL care about finances and will help
We've helped families out because there was a need and we want our pupils to be able to access school.

Some we funded/reduced the cost of Duke of Edinburgh
Some we've bought equipment to enable them to take their sport to county level.
Some we've provided school equipment
Some we've loaned uniform to.

It can be done but it is something you have to ask about because it's not a bottomless pit of money.

We were helped quite a lot with text books and sports kit. It was a really rough time to be honest. When the kids left we did put the kits back into the 'borrow box' though.

Ivymaud · 06/02/2018 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Steeley113 · 06/02/2018 18:39

Some people on here are vile. OP have you contacted the school? I’d be calling up and saying no she’s not going into isolation over this, it’s not her fault. If they insisted then I’d just keep her off school. What a stupid, harsh punishment for her!

halcyondays · 06/02/2018 18:40

DD got a lot of mud on her blazer (wool, state school) and it didn't come clean with sponging. We got it dry cleaned, think it was about £6 which was less than we expected. Didn't want to risk washing it as it's quite a new blazer and was expensive. Obviously she only has one so she had to go in one day without it. Nobody complained. At most she'd have got a uniform mark but you need several of them before you get detention.

Tarraleaha · 06/02/2018 18:48

Bloody hell some of the responses on here are awful.

I would include the OP, some of the posters were really trying to be helpful, presuming that being blazer-less tomorrow will create more trouble.

jellycat1 · 06/02/2018 18:51

Oh my goodness. This thread is a car crash.

Mossbystrand · 06/02/2018 18:52

Pardon me if this has already been said as I've just skimmed through thread but does your school have a second hand uniform shop? If not, can you suggest to your PTA that they set one up. I'm sure lots of parents are in the same boat as you and trying to afford a single set of uniform never mind a spare set.

Moving forward do you have old household items and clothes that you can sell to raise funds for another blazer. It's just an idea to help you through the next six months of the school year.

I hope you get this sorted, best of luck to you op.

MNHQ

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 06/02/2018 18:57

Hi there,
We're going to suspend this now, the OP has deregistered with us. We're not going to delete, though, as hopefully the information will be of some use to someone.

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