To ask for your help to fart. I need popping

[ICanStandtheHeat]

I had been very ill with a chest infection past week. As well as antibiotics and steroids doc prescribed me some codiene to help with chest pain. All good and I'm feeling a lot better. However I've not been to the loo for 5 days now (I think this maybe down to codiene). So this morning I eyed an old bottle of lactulose in cupboard and took a swig. Nothing happened in terms of going loo. But I am now in the most incredible pain. I can't stand up straight. My tummy is hard and round. Drank so much water but not helping. It's just all trapped wind, it's everywhere, mainly under my ribs and shoulders.

Please don't knock me whilst I'm down I know I'm an idiot for drinking the stuff, how can I help this and quick??

You need an audience to coax it out.

Go into work tomorrow morning. Wait until you're in a meeting. Drop your pen on the ground and bend over to pick it up. Massive fart guaranteed.

I would have said drink lots of hot water.

Buscopan here too. I'd be lost without it on repeat script for my IBS. I have to have it intravenously during colonoscopies as I really struggle to cope with the air inflation they use.

Hope you 'pop' soon.

Get into bed with my husband and relax.

Always works extremely well for me

Candy dying here! I remember it happening to a poor woman. She bent over to retrieve something form her bag and let out the biggest, loudest longest fart I've ever heard in my life. To make it worse the plastic chair she was on seemed to act as an echo chamber. It finished me. Everyone else pretended they hadn't heard it which made me crease up even more. Still laughing now as I type!

Upabit omfg! Mental image of hoardes of Mumsnetters lined up outside your bedroom waiting their turn to go in and let rip at your husband. And him just lying there in a bemused fashion!

Glycerin suppositories
Get someone to go buy them now and then leave it in as long as poss. You should go.

If you don't go take sodium picosulfate but be warned it gives runs and bad cramps.

You poor thing

Icantstandtheheat just thought I’d mention it just incase as I really did think I needed to fart the pain was the same sort 😣 hope things are better tomorrow

Codeine is a great pain killer but it’s awful for the bowel and often causes constipation... it can be quite dangerous if your bowel gets compacted...keep moving and taking everything you can to get you to poo..liquorice is really good. I think if nothing happens soon you should seek advice... good luck OP