AIBU...grapes...

[LokiBear]

Dd1 is 6.5. I still cut her grapes in half. She wants me to stop. She helped me make her lunch for tomorrow earlier and asked me to leave them whole. I said that she must make sure she eats them properly. I'm not sat here debating cutting them up. Wwyd?

Now consider that in the context of other accidents in the UK:
10 children die each year from falls.
Plastic nappy bags have killed a child a year over the last 15 years.
There have been at least 30 deaths from blind cord strangulation from since 1999

I try to prevent serious falls
I try to prevent suffocation
I try to prevent strangulation

I also try to prevent choking...it’s not either or.

I’d cut them. Another child is in a comer due to choking on a grape. They are really slippery.

I'm not saying it's either or. I'm putting the risk of choking to death on a grape into context. We lose sight of absolute risk when there are well publicised single cases. There are things far more risky that we let our children do than eating whole grapes, especially children older than 5.

Out of interest do you cut up sausages, sweets, apples, biscuits into pieces smaller than your child's airway?

There does seem a disproportionate number of posters on MN who 'knew someone who died from choking on a grape'.

Grapes are the third most common food responsible for choking related deaths. Why would you take an unecessary risk? Just to say oh well its never happened to me so whatever. Or to feel weirdly proud of saying oh i never cut my childrens grapes up and they have never choked. The thing is the kids who choked to death unlikey choked the several times they ate them before.

I did get a bloody grape stuck in my throat a few days ago and it was pretty horrible. Slippery little bugger was lodged and I couldn’t get it to go down or come up, and I couldn’t catch my breath. It eventually slipped down.

I just snorted as I was shovelling grapes into my mouth and one shot back. Never done it before! If this happened to a child I’m sure it would be pretty dangerous.

Oh God - I cut up the boys grapes for quite some time. There was a child nearby that choked to death on one, so it was very much on my mind.

I've dealt with all sorts of stuff with them really, broken bones, emergency operations etc, and they are 20 and 14 now. I don't still cut up their grapes...

But for me - it was something that stuck in my mind for a long time. I wouldnt expect anyone else to do this - I just felt comfortable doing so...

Out of interest do you cut up sausages, sweets, apples, biscuits into pieces smaller than your child's airway?

It’s hot dogs really, not so much sausages, that are the problem, but I cut them lengthwise until they’re about 3/4 when at home or in a restaurant, but not at a rugby game etc.

Apples, biscuits etc are not anywhere near as dangerous because they’re not the perfect shape & size to be accidentally swallowed whole, nor do they have the sort of skin a grape has that makes them ‘stick’ to your airway.

I’m careful with the sweets small children have, I’d never give them a traditional hard boiled sweet a similar size & shape to a grape. When they’re little, if the lollipop comes off the stick it gets thrown away. End of. I have another one they can have it, if not I’ll deal with the fall out.

It’s not the choking with grapes, it’s the fact they’re very, very, difficult to dislodge. Sometimes impossible. I don’t get why you’d take that risk when it’s so easy to avoid.🤷🏻‍♀️

Just to redress the balance on this thread: I do not know anyone who knows someone who's choked on a grape. I think there's a bit of classic MN hysteria about it on here. That is not to downgrade the very few awful accidents that have occurred, but horrible accidents occur for other reasons, and with higher frequency, and you don't always see the same level of anxiety.

As for cutting grapes for adults ... I eat grapes quite a lot. My (adult) family have always eaten grapes. My father's family eat grapes a LOT as it's sort of a Thing in that country. And I have never, ever, heard of an adult choking on a grape. I'm sorry, I can't imagine cutting grapes up as an adult. What else will you cut up as an adult? Olives with the stones still in? Killer Tapas! Cherry tomatoes? Cherries? Bloody hell, I eat cherries without cutting them up too. Strangely enough, I bite them. Children need to be taught this too, when they're old enough.

I think I will cut my DD grapes up until she is 18.....I bloody hate grapes, and lollipops and basically anything that shape! However I am a neurotic about choking 🙈

Apples, biscuits etc are not anywhere near as dangerous because they’re not the perfect shape & size to be accidentally swallowed whole, nor do they have the sort of skin a grape has that makes them ‘stick’ to your airway.

You see, this is my point. In the evidence I posted earlier, fatal choking episodes happen with comparable frequency with these foods compared to grapes. So they are just as dangerous. It this misinterpretation of risk which I find interesting.

Children can choke on anything - one choked on mash

Honestly I’ve never heard of cutting grapes for school age kids before

Only cut up grapes are allowed at my so s primary school.

My dc's school has children from 4-13. There is a school policy that any grapes in lunch or snack boxes are cut in half. I think it's great, no peer pressure for the dc and support for parents to point to if dc question why. We are not in UK though.

To the poster who mentioned giant marshmallows - all sizes of marshmallow are dangerous if you shove enough of them into your mouth.

Cutting grapes at 6.5? No, I would not do that.
Please do not imply to your child that she has to be responsible for your feelings of worry either, on this or any other subject. You are responsible for maintaining your own equilibrium.

my dd is 8 and she is still very careful with grapes.

Since she was about 5 or 6 I have taught her to take a bite of the grape rather than put a whole one in her mouth. She always does even without prompting so I would be happy to send them to school uncut.

My mum had to use her fingers to fish out a satsuma segment from my throat when I was a child because I choked so I say keep cutting them up. Better safe than sorry.

NotBadConsidering thank you for making an interesting point very well. You are fighting a losing battle, as people don't like statistics.

I cut grapes up for DD11, DS10 and DS6

I can't be doing with the faff of cutting grapes up now, so I taught my kids to squish them first if they are small and soff or bite into them, and I always watch them a bit more closely than with other foods.

The worst things for me are lollipops and marshmallows though. If my kids have a lolly, I only let them lick it and I don't really let them have marshmallows. Apart from anything else they are vile, but of one of those fuckers gets stuck in your throat it ain't ever coming out. I can't understand parents who let their kids run around with lollies in their mouth and stuffing sweets including marshmallows into their gobs.

I let DD have some cut up in her packed lunch, last week on the promise she doesnt talk to everyone at the same time as eating them.

I gave her one, in front of me and as she was eating it, I purposely asked her a question, which of course she answered with a mouth full of grapes

claraschu Well done for being just as patronising as Notbad was in his/her post.

Nothing patronising at all. All I've done is point out how low that risk actually is to try and make people aware or question why they're doing what they're doing. The risk of choking to death on a grape is the same as choking to death on certain other foods and it's rarer than, for example, the risk of a severe, life-threatening reaction to immunisation. Whereas 8 children died in a decade from grape choking in North America, 8 children died in the year 2016 in the U.K. riding their bike. I've pointed out that it's likely thousands of whole grapes are consumed by children daily without incident. I've made no judgement on those that cut up grapes, just challenged the thinking behind the assessment of the risk.