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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wear my wedding dress to my friend's wedding?

92 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 16:23

I got married in a registry office over 20 years ago. Not a traditional wedding. I wore a lovely green silk day dress which was knee length. It's quite a classic style so hasn't really dated.

I wore the dress a few times afterwards, which was always the plan, then had kids and never fitted into it again, but kept it anyway.

I'm currently on a diet and hoping to lose enough weight to get back into it.

I'm due to go to a friends wedding in 3 months time. I mentioned to another friend that I might wear my old wedding dress explaining that it is NOT a proper wedding dress) and she was horrified. She says it's a really off thing to do, and she thought the bride would be upset if she knew.

The bride is someone I met through work a few years ago, so wasn't at my wedding. No one at the forthcoming wedding was at my wedding. There is no way anyone would look at my dress and guess it was a wedding dress. The bride has seen a photo of me and dh on our wedding day but is unlikely to remember what I wore.

So, assuming I lose the weight and can squeeze back into it, AIBU to wear it to another wedding? Dh and I have been happily married for over 20 years so it's not like it's "unlucky".

OP posts:

DextroDependant · 04/02/2018 17:09

As long as you don't mention that it's your wedding dress then I see no reason not to.

SheSparkles · 04/02/2018 17:18

Your friend is half of what’s wrong in the world with the “professionally offended” brigade. Someone might be offended. No one has any idea who this mystery someone is or why on Earth they might be offended, but they might be.

I’ve worn my wedding dress to other events and no one was offended. It’s a bottle green velvet shift dress, and dh wears his wedding outfit -a kilt- to every wedding we go to!

Wear your dress and enjoy it as your reward for the hard work you’ll have done in getting back into it!

FlibFlabFlob · 04/02/2018 17:21

Wear anything that's not a white lace / satin type of thing seems fine to me OP. who cares if it was once your wedding dress.

I've also heard that green is unlucky, but does anyone really care nowadays?

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 17:22

Thanks for all the replies. I wasn't planning on telling everyone it's my wedding dress. No one would work it out unless I told them.
But now I'm worried that maybe it is nostalgia, and it's really dated. I'll try to attach a photo and let you lot judge!

To wear my wedding dress to my friend's wedding?

OP posts:

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 17:24

The colour hasn't come out quite right, it's more of a bluey green.

Of course this is all hypothetical - I need to lose more weight to get into it and I'm not sure my ribcage will go back to my former shape!

OP posts:

TheQueenOfWands · 04/02/2018 17:26

I think it's lovely.

Doesn't look dated to me and who cares if it is? Loads of things look dated but still look amazing.

specialsubject · 04/02/2018 17:31

Did it several times with mine. Anyone looking would see just a dress, it is neither white nor meringue shaped. Might as well get the wear. It was also comfy (Lycra top) and smart as it had hardly been used.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 04/02/2018 17:32

I don't think it's dated. A nice wrap and it'll look really good.

Mrsmadevans · 04/02/2018 17:33

Op, you wear what you want to wear, it is no ones business. Have a great time hope you get into it!!!

TalkinPeace · 04/02/2018 17:36

I'm planning to have my wedding dress - not white, not very wedding
adjusted down to fit me so I can wear it for lunch on my 25th anniversary this summer
Once its a bit less 90's I hope to use it regularly

I think its a lovely thing to celebrate a wedding with a wedding outfit

FizzyGreenWater · 04/02/2018 17:37

OP, 100% honest opinion - it looks quite old and past its best. Perhaps because it's been stuffed at the back of the wardrobe- dry clean maybe?

I don't think it's too dated though.

And fine to wear your wedding dress if it doesn't look like a wedding dress!

FlibFlabFlob · 04/02/2018 17:40

See this white floor length net wedding dress with net shoulder detail?.........

The person wearing it is a GUEST!!!!

THAT is what NOT to wear. Otherwise I think you're safe.

morningconstitutional2017 · 04/02/2018 17:40

It sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Why wouldn't you? It sounds like a lovely dress which you enjoy wearing and it has happy memories for you. If anyone asks you about it, would you tell them it's your wedding dress? Maybe best not to, but then the problem is theirs if they think it's weird. Why go to the expense of getting something new and fancy if it's not necessary? Good luck with the diet.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/02/2018 17:43

Do it! If it's not white and looks like a wedding dress, your fine.

Hellywelly10 · 04/02/2018 17:43

Will be fine. But don't tell anyone else. Excluding strangers on the Internet of course.

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 17:44

Oh my God Flibflab that is shocking!

Fizzy I will get it dry cleaned, it actually looks less creased/dark in real life, the lighting in my bedroom.isn't great.

OP posts:

Notevilstepmother · 04/02/2018 17:44

Looks fine to me. I assumed you meant a floor length cream white or ivory dress, not fine!

It doesn’t look dated to me but then I don’t know if I’d know

Whatshallidonowpeople · 04/02/2018 17:45

I think you might find it looks a bit dated now

TowerRose · 04/02/2018 17:47

Beautiful dress, I think it would be lovely and definitely looks appropriate

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/02/2018 17:48

Not a fan of the dress OP sorry. It looks old rather than vintage. I also think the amount of cleavage / shoulder / bare arms etc is inappropriate for a wedding guest. And finally, as others have said already, green is considered unlucky at weddings. You might not care about that but the bride might!

SirVixofVixHall · 04/02/2018 17:51

Green was a traditional colour for wedding dresses at one time. White is very recent. The bad luck superstition about wearing green is because green was considered the colour for fairies, it doesn't just apply to weddings, some people think any green is bad luck for this reason.
Anyway, green dress to a wedding? Fine. Wherever you wore it before. The only no-nos for a wedding are all white/pale creams, or all black.

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 17:53

I've honestly never heard of green being unlucky for a wedding. It was lucky for me - dh and I gave been married for over 20 years.

I was planning to wear it with a wrap as I don't like my bare arms either! But maybe I'll have a rethink as quite a few people think it looks dated.

Love the comment about men not having this problem. Dh wore the suit he got married in to countless weddings afterwards without anyone batting an eyelid!

OP posts:

RavenLG · 04/02/2018 17:54

I’m sure if the bride cared that much about people not wearing a certain colour she would say. I’ve never heard green is bad luck. It’s all nonsense anyway.
OP wear the dress if you like it.

Nanny0gg · 04/02/2018 17:58

I did the same. No-one had a clue.

If it's not white or ivory and you're not wearing a veil, it's really not a problem!

ScreamingValenta · 04/02/2018 18:01

The dress is fine, but if you lose weight, it might be fun to treat yourself to something new!

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