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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear my wedding dress to my friend's wedding?

92 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/02/2018 16:23

I got married in a registry office over 20 years ago. Not a traditional wedding. I wore a lovely green silk day dress which was knee length. It's quite a classic style so hasn't really dated.

I wore the dress a few times afterwards, which was always the plan, then had kids and never fitted into it again, but kept it anyway.

I'm currently on a diet and hoping to lose enough weight to get back into it.

I'm due to go to a friends wedding in 3 months time. I mentioned to another friend that I might wear my old wedding dress explaining that it is NOT a proper wedding dress) and she was horrified. She says it's a really off thing to do, and she thought the bride would be upset if she knew.

The bride is someone I met through work a few years ago, so wasn't at my wedding. No one at the forthcoming wedding was at my wedding. There is no way anyone would look at my dress and guess it was a wedding dress. The bride has seen a photo of me and dh on our wedding day but is unlikely to remember what I wore.

So, assuming I lose the weight and can squeeze back into it, AIBU to wear it to another wedding? Dh and I have been happily married for over 20 years so it's not like it's "unlucky".

OP posts:
babyccinoo · 04/02/2018 16:42

There is nothing wrong with this at all.

Are your mum and friend usually drama llamas?

Tarraleaha · 04/02/2018 16:42

I agree with MargaretCavendish

You really don't need to mention it was your wedding dress.

Emmageddon · 04/02/2018 16:43

It sounds gorgeous and your friend is wrong, wearing a green silk dress to a wedding is not weird. She probably thinks wedding dress = veil and train.

RavenLG · 04/02/2018 16:46

As long as you don’t run around telling people it’s your wedding dress and have pictures for people then you’ll be fine. No one will know it was your wedding dress.

rothbury · 04/02/2018 16:46

It wouldn't bother me that it was the dress you had worn to your wedding, but wearing green to a wedding is considered very bad luck I think.

Hopefully it wasn't bad luck for you though OP Grin

Aridane · 04/02/2018 16:49

Wearing green to a wedding is considered bad luck Shock ???

LemonysSnicket · 04/02/2018 16:49

I honestly wouldn’t care unless it was white or ballgowny

Go for it

Mrsmadevans · 04/02/2018 16:50

Good luck with the diet OP and wear the dress, imho it is fine to do so .

villainousbroodmare · 04/02/2018 16:51

Wear it.

ShimmeringBollox · 04/02/2018 16:53

Wear it.
I wouldn't even judge you or think you were attention seeking if you did mention your weight loss or the fact that you are wearing your wedding dress.

rothbury · 04/02/2018 16:55

Are there no Irish Mammies out there to back me up???

The faeries will create havoc in your marriage if there's green at the wedding!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/02/2018 16:56

Green at a wedding is demonstrably not bad luck if OP has been married 20+ years...

Bluetrews25 · 04/02/2018 16:56

If the dress fits, wear it!
But DO check it carefully for holes first - some of my elderly / vintage silk had moth holes and didn't look great.

Bluntness100 · 04/02/2018 16:56

I wouldn't even judge you or think you were attention seeking if you did mention your weight loss or the fact that you are wearing your wedding dress

I think I might. If someone said to me " I'm wearing my wedding dress from twenty years ago, I just lost weight to get back into it" I'd say wow, you look fab, beautiful dress, I bet you're really proud to fit back into it. Secretly I'd be thinking Hmm

Gemini69 · 04/02/2018 16:56

you should STOP referring to it in conversations as your Wedding Dress..... nobody would know this until you told them.. then the issue will resolve itself... enjoy the Wedding Flowers

TheQueenOfWands · 04/02/2018 16:57

Is green bad luck, really?

I wore green to a mate's wedding (was a dress my mum made, silk with Chinese dragons on, was gorgeous).

Is that why his wife doesn't like me??

babyccinoo · 04/02/2018 16:58

Green is the colour of fertility and very good luck for a wedding if you want babies

AuntieStella · 04/02/2018 16:58

If you say nothing more about when you got the dress, and just wore it (saying perhaps it's an old favourite) would anyone even suspect it was your wedding dress?

If the answer is 'no' then go ahead and wear it.

Unless the bride is a longstanding friend and she (and perhaps other guests who are mutual friends) would recognise it as your wedding dress. In which case keep if for the next lovely occasion where there is no cross-over.

And congratulations on the weight-loss!

Handsfull13 · 04/02/2018 16:58

I don't see it as a problem but given you have worn is several times since I wouldn't refer to it as your wedding dress and just say the green dress.
It's the idea of a wedding dress that would instantly turn people off and their brain will go to a more obviously wedding dress style and that would be inappropriate.

NiceViper · 04/02/2018 17:00

Here's the rhyme about colours of wedding dresses:

"Married in white, you’ve chosen all right.
Married in blue, you will be true.
Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow.
Married in green, ashamed to be seen.
Married in gray, you’ll live faraway.
Married in brown, you’ll live in the town.
Married In red, you’ll wish yourself dead.
Married in black, for luck you’ll lack."

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 04/02/2018 17:00

I'm sure plenty of men wear the suits they fit married in to other weddings. As long as it's not to hat and talks, no-one would know or care. Likewise, no-one will know or care of you wear your dress to this wedding. As a pp said, it's not a meringue and veil!

On a side note - never heard that wearing green to a wedding is supposed to be bad luck - I've been to two where the bridesmaids wore green!

ShimmeringBollox · 04/02/2018 17:02

Does anyone else really want to see the dress?

Bluntness100 · 04/02/2018 17:02

I don't think blokes would go around saying can I wear my wedding suit though, to them it's just a suit.

reluctantbrit · 04/02/2018 17:06

My husband’s witness wore the dress she wore to her civil wedding around 3 years earlier. She made it herself and I always really liked it.

If you opt for a non-traditional dress, yes reuse it as much as you can, I doubt anybody would say anything. I may would not mention it to the wedding guests, if somebody compliments it, just smile and say thanks

Thistlebelle · 04/02/2018 17:07

Needmoresleep that’s an excellent point my DH has worn his wedding kilt and jacket to every wedding we’ve been to since.

He’s actually going to have to get it taken in because he’s lost weight this year. I don’t think any of our friends would judge him if he happened to mention it.