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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH whistling to baby DD like she's a dog.

75 replies

BeagleBurger · 04/02/2018 12:28

Dh has just whistled to baby DD (18 months) like she's a dog and ACTUALLY said the word "heel" to her. I said "she's not a dog please don't I hate it when you do it." And he made it out like I was being silly...it was only a joke you awkward cow (implied not said).

He does it a lot and I find it utterly awful. When he gives her bits of food he never gives it to her or places on her plate, he sort of tosses it to her. He does adore her and she loves him too but I just find it so horrible. AIBU?

He also calls her a lump all the time. Anyway. 😠😠😠😠😠

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 04/02/2018 12:29

He's just having a laugh by the sounds of it, doesn't sound like anything malicious.

RadioGaGoo · 04/02/2018 12:30

Do the same to him. Its a joke, he will see the funny side.

Partypopper123 · 04/02/2018 12:30

YANBU, none of it is complimentary, what a shame for your dd.

MumGoneMild · 04/02/2018 12:31

Put his dinner on the kitchen floor and whistle for him

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 04/02/2018 12:32

Sounds v. normal, and very affectionate from DH. And I much prefer this to the 'daddy's little princess' approach.

MerryMarigold · 04/02/2018 12:32

Your dd will love this at 2 and a half. My dd was desperate to be a dog/ cat and crawl round the house. Don't worry, he'll grow out of it or she will make him. I can't imagine my 9yo putting up with it.

PotteringAlong · 04/02/2018 12:33

You are being ridiculous. My DH has always whistled to our kids. He does it now when he comes in from work and then run to find him. It’s lovely, you’re being daft.

TroysMammy · 04/02/2018 12:33

My DF used to whistle for us to come in when we were kids. His whistle could be heard in the next street and we used to come running home straight away.

HanaK88 · 04/02/2018 12:33

I quite often find myself making that kissy cat noise to the baby (and calling her by the cat's name) Blush

Trailedanderror · 04/02/2018 12:34

The throwing food at her is really horrible.

Original poster
BeagleBurger · 04/02/2018 12:35

Doesn't it send the message that she's on a level with an animal though? I would HATE it if he or anyone else did it to me. He's got no boundaries.

Maybe I'm being precious and need to lighten up. It makes my skin crawl when he does it though.

OP posts:
Steeley113 · 04/02/2018 12:41

You’re being precious. Kids think this sort of thing is funny. My nickname was pugsley when I was little Grin It’s not scarred me for life.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 04/02/2018 12:43

Do the same to him and definitely put his dinner on the floor

RadioGaGoo · 04/02/2018 12:43

I don't think you are being precious. Not liking something doesn't mean you are bring precious.

eurochick · 04/02/2018 12:50

I find it best to treat toddlers like puppies. Your husband seems to have toddler parenting sorted.

Schlimbesserung · 04/02/2018 12:57

I don't think you are being precious at all. If nothing else, showing her that throwing food is a good thing (because Daddy does it) will backfire.
Even without that though, you can dislike something and ask him to stop it because it makes you uncomfortable and he should be able to respect that.

FizzyGreenWater · 04/02/2018 13:00

No boundaries you say?

Give him a nickname you know will hit a slight nerve. Nothing too awful, just something that vaguely touches on a sensitivity.

Then look amazed when he objects and imply he's an awkward humourless cow for not loving it. Extra points if you get the word 'bantz' in.

:)

TheQueenOfWands · 04/02/2018 13:00

I agree with putting his dinner in a dog bowl.

You could get one of those nice Mason Cash ones with 'DOG' written on the side of it.

FizzyGreenWater · 04/02/2018 13:02

Oh, and funny stuff is only funny if everyone finds it funny. Them's the rules.

Humour is SUBJECTIVE, so if there's a member of the family who is having to put up with their 'skin crawling' when everyone else is laughing - nope, it ain't funny. Find something else to laugh about. Doesn't matter if you consider them 'precious' or 'humourless'. Be genuinely funny and kind enough to make everyone laugh. That's the aim.

TheBrilliantMistake · 04/02/2018 13:05

It's just a typical man's sort of joke. Not your cup of tea, evidently, but I don't think for one moment it's indicative of his attitude towards her.

Babies are fun in so many ways, and they do the daftest things. I can remember rolling balls for my kids to 'fetch' - it's play (and helped them with crawling!). I may even have uttered the words 'fetch' at some point (it's a long time ago, I can't remember).

PinkBlueYellow · 04/02/2018 13:06

If he does it a lot, it would piss me off too.

Especially as you've asked him not to, that you don't like it and still he continues. It's like he's sticking two fingers up at you.

Chottie · 04/02/2018 13:06

OP - I think this is horrid too.

Your DD is little child, your DH's child and not his dog. I just can't understand why he does it. I would be pulling him up on it every single time.

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/02/2018 13:18

Doesn't it send the message that she's on a level with an animal though?

No
Do you think you love and care for your DD more than her Dad does?

Feelings · 04/02/2018 13:21

It's not lovely and OP is not being precious. My next door neighbour whistles to his partner like a dog, even she doesn't respond to it because it's degrading.

It's asserting some kind of control, and belittling.

I can't believe he said "heel" to her Hmm

DriggleDraggle · 04/02/2018 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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