To ask my children to write thank you letters?

[millimat]

DD (14) and DS (12) both have late January birthdays so they tend to write a combined thank you letter for birthday and Christmas presents for everybody who have them something. They're whinging saying nobody else ever writes them. AIBU to expect them to write them?

Lipstick, some elite private schools manage to teach their pupils to aspire to great academic heights (I have a PhD and a good job), and also to be polite and write thank-you letters. Who'd have thought you could do both?

And I attended scheme school. Managed to get a career,professional qualifications,degrees
All despite an absence of emphasis on thank you notes

Your point, though, Lipstick, was that the pupils at your school "could aspire to more than anachronistic etiquette". My point was that it's possible to be educated and polite.

That’s me alright,educated and polite.

YANBU - I'm 28 and my mum still expects me to write them if family give me a gift!

Its manners to thank someone for a gift. I do thank you notes and encourage my DD to do the same but only when she hasn't seen the gift giver in person to thank them e.g. my DM or MIL's friends sometimes give her a little something for Christmas and we don't see them or have their number to text so she sends a thank you card. She will text some people though, it depends on the context of the relationship.

I also sent personalised thank you cards for every single gift I received after she was born, likewise for every gift we received for our wedding. I also send a thank you note when we have attended a wedding, thanking the hosts for the day and mentioning a particular part we enjoyed. Its just nice!

I send email or I call to say thanks. I don’t send thank you cards.nor do my kids