Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Am I a Piss Head?

67 replies

MermaidHead · 02/02/2018 21:28

My DH has expressed concern at my alcohol consumption. I normally consume about 1 bottle of wine during the week and maybe have another at the weekend....Maybe two if I have stuff on both Fri/Sat, (which is unusual) DH consumes as much, probably more tbh judging by the size of his beer belly, however as he has pointed out..he is a man and can consume more with no ill effects..AIBU to think he is being a bit of a dick?

OP posts:

TournesolsetLavande · 03/02/2018 07:50

My BIL is a catastrophic alcoholic who only has a can of lager nowadays. But he NEEDS that can of lager. I'm fairly certain he just 'has the one' when my sister is around.

Well in that case, if a can of lager is all he's having to feel human and he behaves perfectly normally on that can of lager, then he might technically be an alcoholic but he's no more affected by it than my need to have coffee in the morning to feel normal.

So long as he can keep it that way....

I'd rather live with a functioning alcoholic who is no problem to anyone and drinks a relatively small and healthy amount than be with someone who is a total fucking nightmare one day in a fortnight when they've gone out 'for a good time' downed a bottle of vodka, started a fight, insulted all their friends and then passed out. But they are not an alcoholic because they can go two weeks between drinks and still function.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 03/02/2018 07:56

I agree with you @Tourneso. My mum was a serious alcoholic. It eventually killed her, poor woman. She was a nightmare to live with.

My dad probably drinks a little too much - similar to the op - now, (he did not have alcohol in the house when my mum was drinking). But he’s a completely different story to my mum. He works full time in a difficult job and he never drinks to the point where it changes his personality like my poor mum did.

Obviously, in an ideal world, he would drink less, but, given the choice I’d take him as he is over a binge drinker who rolled in shitfaced once a month.

meltingsugar · 03/02/2018 08:02

He's a prick if he thinks it's ok for him to drink the same and it only be excessive for you.

I'd say you drink quite a bit in comparison to me (I don't drink except maybe Christmas I have a glass of fizz) but I daresay I eat a lot more sugar than you do, so swings and roundabouts!

WhiteWalkersWife · 03/02/2018 08:03

His beer belly is a side effect! And certainly not healthy so he is incorrect there.

ragged · 03/02/2018 08:06

imho, 2 bottles a week on a regular basis IS excessive. Male or female.

cakeflower · 03/02/2018 08:13

I think it’s excessive.

Spartaca · 03/02/2018 08:17

Excessive in my opinion, both of you. But the point here is his hypocrisy.

How does it affect you? I mean, is he saying it because you are slurring come 9pm and hungover the next morning or just because?

Bananasandwicheseveryday · 03/02/2018 09:13

Don't rely on the 'slim, fit and healthy ' suggested by a pp. Google Search TOFI and have a read.

I believe that alcohol consumption guidelines for men and women have been revised in recent years. this explains.
Like it or not, enjoy it or not, the fact is that the alcohol you are both consuming on a regular basis is a problem for your body. Yes, your Dh is being a hypocrite here, but please don't kid yourself that your alcohol consumption is harmless.

StealthPolarBear · 03/02/2018 09:24

Hang on people are assuming the one bottle is in one go I'd assumed over the week or weekend.

Timmytimetime · 03/02/2018 10:40

The simple (and scientifically proven ) fact is that if a man OR woman regularly drinks over 14 units a week, they are significantly increasing their risk of getting liver disease and certain cancers.

Drinking over 1.5 bottles of wine a week is more than 14 units (if 10 units a bottle ).

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 03/02/2018 10:50

My dsis spent many, many months on a liver ward. There were people on that ward who drunk less than the OP, and were most definitely not alcoholics - or even alcohol dependent, but still damaged their livers.

Thing is, you can't know what your danger threshold is until you've damaged your liver.

I do think that the OP is drinking too much, and has probably come onto MN to get validation - which she's received in spades.

Sallystyle · 03/02/2018 10:57

I think it's excessive, but not shockingly so. 2-3 bottles of wine a week will have an impact on your health, but so does all the pepsi max and crap food I eat and drink.

My husband annoys the hell out of me when he is drunk. He doesn't do it often but when he does I hate being around him. He just doesn't shut the fuck up and he think he is funny when he really isn't. He is the kindest man I know, sober and drunk, but fuck me, he is the most annoying drunk person I know. We would have a problem if he did it often.

Your husband is being a dick though, unless you are a really annoying pissed person too.

kaytee87 · 03/02/2018 10:59

I think that's a lot to drink every single week instead of say during the Christmas holidays for example.
You must spend a lot of the weekend a bit pissed.
If he drinks more then he's a hypocrite.

AwayAndStuffYourself · 03/02/2018 11:04

As the child of a chronic alcoholic I would say that it's not necessarily about how much you drink, but about whether you NEED that drink. If you can't survive without that glass of wine then you are at the very least in the beginning stages of having a problem. Also the fact that you are drinking it at home would worry me more than if you were going out and doing it. Laugh at me if you like, but I would caution you to have a serious think about this...I've watched it destroy several lives, however "small" it started out being.

Original poster

MermaidHead · 03/02/2018 16:10

I normally have a glass of wine with my dinner through the week, at weekends I socialise. I honestly don’t get very drunk, I don’t “chug it back” a bottle will last me the whole night (that’s about 4 glasses of wine). It’s unusual for me to go out on both Fri and Saturday. That would only happen about once every couple of months.TBH my average consumption is more like 9 glasses of wine per week. I’m happy with this, Im in my fifties and have no health problems and I’m not obnoxious when I’m drinking. I realise I drink a bit more than the recommended amount but to be honest that doesn’t really worry me I just find it a bit rich that DH thinks it’s Ok for him to drink more cause he’s a man 😂 Thanks for all the responses. I will tell DH he IS being a dick about this

OP posts:

FlibFlabFlob · 03/02/2018 17:41

I think a glass in a night is totally normal but a glass a night 5 days a week (if I've got that right?) sounds too frequent, especially with more at weekends.

Could you try cutting down to a glass 3 nights a week plus a tiny bit less at weekends?

Delatron · 03/02/2018 17:51

I think two bottles a week is only just over the recommended units. And remember these recommended units vary from country to country so they are not based on scientific fact. Spain recommends a max of 30 units a week...

I'm quite shocked by the poster who said that there were people on a liver ward who had damaged their livers on less that 2 bottles a week?

Flip

1 2 3