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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I a Piss Head?

67 replies

MermaidHead · 02/02/2018 21:28

My DH has expressed concern at my alcohol consumption. I normally consume about 1 bottle of wine during the week and maybe have another at the weekend....Maybe two if I have stuff on both Fri/Sat, (which is unusual) DH consumes as much, probably more tbh judging by the size of his beer belly, however as he has pointed out..he is a man and can consume more with no ill effects..AIBU to think he is being a bit of a dick?

OP posts:

MoeSzyslaksTwinSister · 02/02/2018 22:28

Me and DP share a bottle of Bacardi once a week so we are going over our units in one night. Sometimes we are pissed, other times we arent. Just depends.

I don't think 2/3 bottles of wine is excessive.

StillPissedOff · 02/02/2018 22:36

If you enjoy it, then why not?
That is not very much alcohol at all.

It depends what your long-term plan is.
(Mine is to drink and smoke {[ smoke in the garden, never in the house. Observe garden birds and night sky, etc. while smoking!} and then go and die before really old age, perhaps, hopefully.)

BlueMirror · 02/02/2018 23:01

On a one off no but 2/3 every week is dependent imo.

StillPissedOff · 03/02/2018 00:16

Why is it bad, though?

Cherrycokewinning · 03/02/2018 03:57

it’s not really a matter of opinion. It’s nowhere near the amount that would illustrate an alcohol dependency

HandMsMonkey · 03/02/2018 04:04

This post makes me want wine. Is 4.04am still classed as night time or is it morning now?

TheStoic · 03/02/2018 04:07

it’s not really a matter of opinion. It’s nowhere near the amount that would illustrate an alcohol dependency

Dependency is not about the amount, it’s about the behaviour.

letsdolunch321 · 03/02/2018 04:14

If you enjoy it OP and it is not a problem to your every day life .... enjoy it

Cherrycokewinning · 03/02/2018 04:14

I know that. But the amount is relevant- can someone be dependant on a small sherry a week? No not really.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 03/02/2018 04:36

2 bottles of wine every weekend is binge drinking. My relative used to drink nothing all week and then a couple of bottles of red on weekends and she got pancreatitis because of the shock to her body on weekends.

Dr said if she'd drunk it throught the week and not all on two days she may not have been affected in this way.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 03/02/2018 04:37

And you're drinking about 30 units a week when 14 is the "safe" amount.

mrsplum2015 · 03/02/2018 04:43

The wine I drink is usually 7.5 units per bottle, maybe 8. So if you have 2 bottles per week you are only just over the recommended limit (assuming they are 7.5 unit bottles).

I personally think a guideline is just that. And if you go up to 3 bottles one week a month you're unlikely to be doing yourself much harm.

However it is very personal and really between you and your h. If he thinks you have an issue he should explain why and you should be open to discuss that.

TournesolsetLavande · 03/02/2018 04:43

Depends. Are you downing the whole of those bottles in one night each time or making it last two or three nights? If it’s the latter he’s being daft. If it’s the former, and he finds your behavior to be altered for the worse then he might have a point.

If someone is feeling concerned about the way you behave when you’ve had a drink rather than the quantity itself or the long term health effects then I think you should listen to what they have to say before you decide they are a controlling dick.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/02/2018 04:47

He drinks more than you and yet you have a problem? I smell Projection.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 03/02/2018 05:00

He drinks more than you and yet you have a problem? I smell Projection.

This.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. Your drinking would only be problematic if you couldn't function without that bottle of wine - it's not about how much you drink, but WHY you drink.

My BIL is a catastrophic alcoholic who only has a can of lager nowadays. But he NEEDS that can of lager. I'm fairly certain he just 'has the one' when my sister is around.

Alcoholics project. It's almost always the ones in denial.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 03/02/2018 05:08

Funnily enough, I was never in denial about my alcoholism. I fully understood where I was. Rotating between all the local shops, buying vodka from each one on different days, so they'd never guess I was an alcoholic. They knew, and I knew. Trying to key your PIN into the card machine, when you've got the shakes so badly, you have to tell the person behind the till what your PIN is, so they can do it for you.

THAT is alcoholism. I don't believe that's you

diodati · 03/02/2018 05:26

It sounds as if you’re drinking too much. A bottle during the week (a small glass per day) is fine but 1-2 bottles over a weekend is a lot. I know that there’s a gender difference in alcohol metabolism (men absorb less alcohol into their bloodstream). Still, if he’s worried about how much you’re drinking, he should set an example by drinking less himself!

Chaosofcalm · 03/02/2018 06:22

To drink healthy you need to look at the numbers. Women are recommended to have no more than 2 to 3 units a day with a day off a week. So that is between 12 to 18 units a week. Having over half hour weekly allowance in one go, 6 to 9 units, is considered binge drinking. A bottle of wine is binge drinking at 10 units.

On a weekly basis you are binge drinking and exceeding the weekly total amount of alcohol.

What you do with this information is up to you. But comparing it to alcohol intake of others or saying your partner’s consumption of alcohol is worse won’t reduce the health risks to you.

e1y1 · 03/02/2018 06:37

Well Physiologically he is capable of consuming more, due to body mass and liver size, (just the same as his calorific consumption typically would be higher).

But regardless, he is being a massive dick to say that he is concerned about your consumption on the basis of your sex, and for him to demand you make changes as if he is the boss of you is more than wrong.

Besides his shit excuse for why he is concerned, has he said anything else about why he objects to your drinking - behaviour, money etc?

A standard bottle of wine is around 10.5 units, so at 2 a week, you are over the recommended guideline of no more that 14 a week.

Lethaldrizzle · 03/02/2018 07:37

Are you fit healthy and slim? if so just prod his beer belly and say you'll cut down when he gets rid of that

ForalltheSaints · 03/02/2018 07:38

I would not use the term piss head, but think both the OP and her husband drink too much.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 03/02/2018 07:43

A bottle of wine is quite a bit more than I would drink in a night. I’d maybe drink that much in one evening, but very occasionally.

Unfortunately, he’s right about men, generally speaking, being able to drink more than women can, with fewer ill effects. It’s not fair, but it’s just one of those things.

All that said, I don’t think you sound like a raging alcoholic or anything. I think many women drink that much and more and are definitely not lairy, ladette, piss heads.

BulletFox · 03/02/2018 07:43

It's more of a concern that he's trying to destabilise how you think about it.

He's creating doubts in your mind, whilst carrying on as he pleases.

TournesolsetLavande · 03/02/2018 07:46

Your drinking would only be problematic if you couldn't function without that bottle of wine - it's not about how much you drink, but WHY you drink.

I completely disagree. It might only be a problem for you in those circumstances but for your nearest and dearest it's not how much you drink, it's not even how often you drink or how much you need that drink to function normally - it's how drink makes your behaviour change for the worse.

madeyemoodysmum · 03/02/2018 07:49

Your wrong when you say the alcohol will have no effect on your dh as he is a man
His liver is still Working just as hard

It's too many units sorry

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