Aibu in being shocked at this school newsletter?

[whensitmyturn]

Aibu in being pretty appalled at this school news letter or am i being naive?

Children attend a catholic primary school- dh is Catholic I am not. Never had an issue with the school, children are in the last couple of years there.

Had a newsletter home tonight saying that a new ‘children and social work act of 2017’ has been passed and that parents will no longer be able to remove their children for PSHE lessons but that the government are still deciding what content the lessons should have. There is a public questionnaire on gov.uk to write your ideas.

The newsletter then goes on to say that we need to ensure that things that are age suited to children get suggested and I quote ‘to avoid respect for alternative lifestyles being allowed to undermine Christian principles of marriage and family life’.

It then goes on to link ‘coalition for marriage’ for help with us filling in this questionnaire.

Coalition 4 marriage is a group that promotes a traditional family set up and states that children should be taught that ‘marriage between a man and a woman as the gold standard of adult relationships’ Also that ‘they believe there is no age-appropriate way to teach primary school children about same sex marriages or transgenderism’. In blinding hypocrisy it then goes on to say ‘we should be teaching children broad values of tolerance and respect’.

!? I thought that in this day and age in the uk even if you attend a faith school inclusivity was seen as important/ the norm.
Would you be angry at this or just see it as an unavoidable downside of attending a catholic school?

SGB that happened in my dc's primary school (which ISN'T a faith school, it's a community primary school). Young, evangelical Baptist minister bounded onto the board of governors and made himself indispensible - cue teams of swivel-eyes weirdos coming in to take over assemblies and do "prayer workshops" in the afternoons and all sorts of other entirely inappropriate nonsense. We got rid of him in the end.

Dreamy what would you suggest I do? I don’t really like the idea of dc going to a catholic school but it’s the only one with space in a 20 mile radius. I have to work, I am in no way capable of homeschooling or paying for private. He’s on the waiting lists for other schools but it could be for ages.

I understand it may be the only school around, but doesn't teach what you believe. See it as a way to educate him yourself as well, say this is what some believe but there are other ways of lives and religions out there.

Our local RC school would prob do this. No issue. Its very catholic. The school teaches the catholic beliefs. Its very much upholding the catholic teaching.

YANBU.
I'd imagine there are single parents and same sex parents who will also not be happy. Families come In all shapes and sizes. This isn't the 1930s.

Swan you don't have to homeschool completely, maybe it's enough to supplement the education with some critical thinking. Ideally children should be taught to see both sides of every argument anyway. Plenty of people who went to Catholic school end up not being indoctrinated.

But who looks after my dc for the 30 hours a week that they’re at school and I’m at work

Swan I'm not following...you mean you work outside of school hours? I'm saying that you could leave your children at that school if it's the only one that works for you, and then supplement their education outside of school. A single trip to the Natural History Museum should do it!

Ivy yup not secular but CoE is as close to secular as any religion I've known (if you could Buddhism as philosophy rather than religion).

count not could

Maybe write to them about what you think. We live in a democracy, the school should open this up for discussion.
www.rcdow.org.uk/diocese/default.asp?library_ref=4&content_ref=3699
You may want to use phrases from this statement.

maybe it's enough to supplement the education with some critical thinking. Ideally children should be taught to see both sides of every argument anyway

Many of us would hope schools prioritise these things already, rather than favouring indoctrination

We live in a democracy, the school should open this up for discussion

I completely agree, but experience suggests that probing questions aren't always acceptable in some churches

I think the actual problem with many of the views is lack of 'real' knowledge about faith schools. Shame really.

What about those of us with kids at faith schools due to lack of other options? Is our knowledge of faith schools ‘real’?

It’s not an ideological stance I support,but it is a stance in keeping with RC beliefs
If you're uncomfortable with RC doctrine you need to move School or suck it up quietly
You can’t chose a faith school cause it’s well rated and then be askance at faith teachings

Here’s what I don’t understand about the ‘marriage has a different meaning as a Catholic sacrament, it’s different to the secular version’ argument:

Why aren’t Catholic schools willing to teach about both, if their teaching is truly not rooted in homophobia? If they are truly in favour of tolerance? Why aren’t they willing to teach kids ‘as Catholics, marriage has a special meaning as a sacrament of the church, and we have particular rules and beliefs that mean it can only be between a man and a woman. But for people who aren’t Catholics, marriage means something bit different. It’s still for people who love each other and want to spend their lives together, but for people who don’t believe what we do, it can also be for two men and two women’.

Ooookay too many crazies. At the end of the day OP, suck it up or pull the kids out. In no way should this have been a surprise.

I went to a catholic sixth form (as a non catholic) and it opened my eyes. I think it’s unbelievable that these schools are allowed in the first place, never mind state funded.

Jassy, that is a very fair point. The OP doesn't suggested that wouldn't be taught though. You can avoid undermining Christian principles and still discuss how Catholic marriage contrasts to UK legal marriage.

The Act referred to is the one (I think) that made it compulsory for sex education to be given in primary (from 2019 if I remember rightly) so you can't honestly be surprised that as part of these lessons a catholic school would want to teach that sex before marriage is bad??!

Ooookay too many crazies. At the end of the day OP, suck it up or pull the kids out. In no way should this have been a surprise.

With ya on that one! You really can't send your child to catholic school and then act all surprised/shocked/outraged/upset/choose your own wording for level of shockedness when they you know, promote catholic views!

it is a stance in keeping with RC beliefs.If you're uncomfortable with RC doctrine you need to move School or suck it up quietly You can’t chose a faith school cause it’s well rated and then be askance at faith teachings

Absolutely this.

JJPP, I certainly took this aspect of the letter home from the school that way:

‘to avoid respect for alternative lifestyles being allowed to undermine Christian principles of marriage and family life’.

Respect for alternative lifestyles presumably being code for ‘people who are gay and still want to get married’. ‘Undermine’ being fairly confrontational and suggests conflict between the two (and of course, the stance of the Christian churches towards gay marriage legislation wasn’t terribly tolerant or ok with the idea that there is one kind of marriage special to Christians, which is separate to the secular version.)

You can’t chose a faith school cause it’s well rated and then be askance at faith teachings

Again, the illusion of choice.

I wish posters would stop saying "send" your kids.

Parents in the UK don't choose a school, they "express a preference". In many parts of London and the southeast you get what you are given and that may be a religious school and/or one in a multi-academy trust. You may well have not "expressed a preference for it". And that's before you even get to the fact that there can be a lot of religion in 'community' schools and that schools may change their approach if a new head comes in.

The only options you have are to send your children to a school (but not, often, choose which one) or choose not to send them to a school. If you can't afford to pay, or move, there is no "sending", just "accepting the place you are allocated". Or not.

My theory is that people only put up with the inequities in the current system because most of them only need to deal with it for a few years and I think it only dawns on many people that religion is intertwined through our school system when they need to use it - which is a bit late.

I've been thinking more about this tonight.
Why should a school which teaches that the law of the land is wrong be state funded?

On the whole Catholic schools will not teach that the law of the land is wrong

What did you expect sending your children to a faith school!! Has the pope come out and said he accepts gay people and get marriage!!