To think..

[cookiesandcreaam]

that if a man who works fulltime 5 days a week 8-6 shouldn’t be expected to help around the house? That applies to the woman aswell if she was the main breadwinner and the man stayed home, I’d expect him to do all the housework and deal with the kids. If they both work they should share the housework, but if only one of them works and the other stays home I wouldn’t expect the one who works to do any housework during the week, but in the weekend when they’re both home I would expect the breadwinner to help out.

What do you guys think?

I think both partners should have equal free time.

What 😂😂😂 Looking after the children is work too 😂😂

Depends what the stay-at-home person is doing during the day. If they have free time when their partner is at work then they should absolutely do the housework. But if their time is full 8-6 then that's no different to the other partner who is working, and therefore they should share housework.

There is no way I could look after a hyperactive toddler and do all the housework at the same time.

Currently got a day off with my son and all I've had time to do is play games with him.

My partner and I work full time and we split the chores equally. Personally, I would expect a SAHP with young kids to be able to throw laundry in the wash and attempt to make dinner. That's it.

I’m assuming said ‘man’ is an adult? If so they should behave as such and take their grown up responsibilities

Equal free time is the thing for me too.

If both partners helping in the evenings means free weekends, then both should do it. Looking after children is not time off.

Generally yes assuming they just have one preschooler. With two (or god forbid more) I think they should probably do something during the week but I wouldn’t know I only have one.

Both should take an equal share of all aspects of their shared life.

Both should be getting the same work load even though might consist of different tasks/jobs/chores etc and both should get the same "free" time.

You have both chosen to share your life so you should share your life!

I am a sahm with an infant and a 4 yr old I don't have time to do all the housework as well though I do the majority, at weekends me and DH split chores equally and during the week we take turns to cook dinner. A sahm is not a maid!

What if they both work the same hours?

So the stay at home parent has to work preety much 24/7 because the worker works 10 hours? I'm glad my OH is happy to help

I always found it wise to pick my battles in this respect. We have a rule that whoever is home first must make dinner. I work longer hours and do all the housework - but I could get a cleaner. It’s my choice at the moment not to.

I’ve always found guys just don’t notice mess or dirt and or care about it in the same way. And they are rubbish at multitasking. I don’t care if that sounds sexist. Maybe it’s just the guys I’ve lived with that were all like that.

How is it equal free time when the worker has a quick break at work to eat lunch and the SAHP has a few hours to themselves when kids are at school?

How would you guys feel if you've been at work all day and you come home, the house is not clean, no dinner despite the kids being at school all day?

Yeah... because when I'm at home all day with my baby, I'm just having a ball...it's like being on a permanent holiday.

😠

If both parties are happy with the arrangement, it's fine.

If not, they should find a way of compromising so one parent doesn't feel they're hard done by.

If it's even coming up as an item for discussion, I'd assume that at least one party isn't happy with the status quo.

Haha! If you think being a SAHP is a walk in the park then you are clearly mistaken.

One of our children is still at home, not at nursery. The house has to be cleaned, the bills have to be paid, finances sorted, the house has to be stocked with food so regularly trips to the supermarket, taking to and picking up eldest child from school, looking after the animals plus any other issue which comes up.

I wish I could sit down for a few hours!

Single men who work full time come home, do all the housework and shopping and cook their own dinner. Its just something adults do.

That's a joke, right? Or did the '50s escape the timeline again?

How would you guys feel if you've been at work all day and you come home, the house is not clean, no dinner despite the kids being at school all day?

As a single parent working full time, this is my life every day!

I manage to cook and clean myself after longer hours than 8-6pm. I do what needs doing to have a functioning household. That's just life.

In a family that has a healthy dynamic, all adults (and older DC) contribute what they can to household chores. There isn't any score keeping.

It totally depends how the SAHP is filling their time. If they have young kids at home all day (i.e. baby/toddler/preschooler) then it is pretty hard to get jobs done at home during the day (except during their naps). Of course you could park said children in front of the tv all day, but that is crap parenting.

If kids are all at school, then the SAHP should be doing chores/house admin between 9 and 3 (school hours) but then spend time with kids after school, helping with homework, sorting dinner, asking about their day, etc.

Any left over chores with either system should be shared equally during evenings and weekends. Working 8-6 does not give you the right to absolve all responsibility for housework/children outside of these hours. Respect that your partner has worked hard all day too and is also tired (possibly more physically tired than you).

Respecting your partner = better relationship = everybody is happier.

There's a huge difference between a SAHP with children in school and a SAHP with one or more toddlers to look after! If I was married to the former I would definitely not expect to have to do anything much around the house as they have 5 ish hours available each day for cooking, cleaning etc. I'd be unhappy if I was at work while they were sitting reading, going to the gym, coffee etc.

But in the latter case, I agree with PPs that even getting a wash on is an achievement and the working partner should share the load outside of working hours.

Well it depends. What is the person who stays at home doing? The f they are taking care of children all day then I would expect the working parent to help out before/after work and on weekends. If children are at school then I would expect parent at home to so the house work while children are out.

I'm at home just now, I have 3 hours a day when I don't have a child at home. I'm busy from the time I get up at 6.00am and will usually sit down around 9.00pm having got the kids settled and the house straight again. My husband leaves the house at 8.30am and is home around 5.30pm - I absolutely expect him to pull his weight in the house during the week. We're a team and he lives here too so I'm not sure why my working day should extend to 15 hours a day while he does half that.