Long story so apologise for length.
I am the second of four siblings, my parents are divorced but on reasonably good terms now.
My mother has always been a difficult personality, and often has a little strop if things don’t go her way. There are a couple of occasions I recall where she has stopped talking to me or ignored me for a few days or weeks. Usually because I’ve done something she disagrees with or ‘disobeyed’ her. When she starts communicating again, it’s when she wants to (on her terms).
My maternal grandmother has been unwell recently and there have been lots of disagreements between my mother and her brother (my uncle) about how best to manage her. There have been many heated arguments and some unpleasant things said on both sides, culminating in them being NC for around 6 months now.
I am in my late thirties, married with 3 kids and live independently from my mother and siblings (and am financially stable). Due to her argument with her brother, my mother forbade any of us children from speaking to him, his wife or his children (my cousins). For various reasons I have had to have some contact but it’s been limited and she has been aware of it. Can’t say she was very happy.
A few weeks ago, he contacted me to say he had Christmas presents for my children. I suggested he drop them round. He came with the family (first contact for 6 months) and a lovely time was had by all. Somehow, my mother found out about this. She called me but didn’t ask me about it directly. Instead, she was more sullen during the conversation and spent most of the call interrogating my 4 year old, trying to get him to reveal some incriminating evidence.
Since that day she hasn’t spoken to me at all. Will not return messages or take calls. I have had the same treatment from my siblings and wider family. It makes me really sad as it’s DC2’s birthday tomorrow and I’ve had to cancel my original plans for a celebration as there wont be enough people. We’re having a small party at home instead.
I’m pretty sure this is not normal behaviour from a woman who is in her 60s, but having grwon up with it sort of skews your normality somewhat. Right now I have given up trying to make contact, told her she know where I am if she actually wants to talk and that I feel it’s really sad that she is taking this out on my child. I am flitting between feeling really sad and really quite angry. If she calls tomorrow to speak to my child I will not be answering the call. Does that make me as bad as her? My husband would happily cut her out completely over this but I feel a bit torn. Don’t really know what to do next.
Apologies for incoherent ramblings and thank you if you’ve read until the end.