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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this man was a miserable git?

191 replies

Sashkin · 30/01/2018 19:56

Lighthearted, but obviously not completely lighthearted because it’s about my darling PFB.

DS is 10mo, and has always liked smiling at strangers when we are out. On the tube today, and he looks across at this middle-aged man next to us, gives him a shy little smile and tries a tentative wave. This. is. his. first. wave. ever, so clearly a massive milestone and proud moment for me. I coo at him “oh well done, are you waving at the nice man?” And the nice man harrumphs and goes back to his newspaper without even acknowledging poor little DS, who looks crestfallen.

AIBU to think this man was a miserable git if he couldn’t humour a small child for five minutes, and WIBU to burn his house down in retaliation?

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 30/01/2018 21:56

Isn't this just a different version of the wandering child in a cafe/pub/restaurant?

Whisperquietly · 30/01/2018 21:58

OP, you will remember this post and laugh in years to come!

(I mean that kindly, I was exactly the same when PFB was a baby!)

thecatfromjapan · 30/01/2018 21:59

Bet Sean Ryder would have waved back. In fact, Sean Ryder would have stood up and done a little dance. (And you'd have probably got off at the next stop in acute embarrassment.)

Don't think Michael Portillo would have. He almost stepped on my child once, in King's road. Actually, I've yet to see MP on the tube.

Don't think KH would wave. I can imagine a basilisk stare from her. Definite therapy-in-future time.

Alice Walker would have waved. She once struck up a conversation with my friend about her green hair ("It's like grass," in this beautiful tone of amused pleasure).

HoppyHannah · 30/01/2018 22:07

Look, get out of your bubbles, your child is your own, but not everyone will want to interract with said child apart from a quick smile and wave.

Expecting strangers to interract with your child for more than a minute is just too cringy for me.

But there we are. Maybe some parents expect everyone to delight in their child. They don't.

Original poster
Sashkin · 30/01/2018 22:09

I wouldn’t have let him wave at KH!

Michael Gove would have done that weird awkward clap thing.

Jeremy Corbyn would have made him an impromptu toy out of a cast-off copy of Metro. Probably a paper boat or something.

OP posts:
theymademejoin · 30/01/2018 22:11

“oh well done, are you waving at the nice man?” would have totally put me off having any form of interaction with your child.

Generally, if I'm in the mood I'll interact briefly with a child. If I'm not, I won't. A scary parent that sounds like they won't leave me alone if I interact will guarantee I won't.

The man was not a miserable git. He did or said nothing offensive. He simply carried on with his business and left you and your child to get on with your business.

Whiskeywithwater · 30/01/2018 22:13

I always used to smile and wave back and babies ... but the problem is that they don’t give up ... you do it once and then you’ll end up either having to repeat it for the full journey which is as tedious as fuck! I try to avoid making eye contact now . No-one else outside your family and (close) friends finds your baby fascinating I’m afraid ...

BillThePony · 30/01/2018 22:13

Wasn't the Jubilee Or Central Line was it.

If so you may have met my DH, he came home moaning about his commute and work today Smile

thecatfromjapan · 30/01/2018 22:18

@sash Ha! At impromptu JC toy! Brilliant.

I think you're spot on with MG, too. I met him once (for a millisecond) and he is, indeed, 'unfailingly polite'.

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 30/01/2018 22:23

Ah I can't not smile at a baby Blush

Original poster
Sashkin · 30/01/2018 22:23

you do it once and then you’ll end up either having to repeat it for the full journey which is as tedious as fuck

Yeah his previous party trick was an intense fixed unblinking stare like something or of Village of the Damned. Half the reason I was so happy to see a wave...

User and midnight, your niece and son sound lovely!

OP posts:
Ribbitribbit001 · 30/01/2018 22:36

I find babies repulsive and if you did that to me I would be deeply uncomfortable. Nothing worse than a performance parent in a confined space. Really feel for the poor man, the whole carriage must have been rolling their eyes.

Plumes · 30/01/2018 22:38

Oh calm down you hysterical ninny.

HellonHeels · 30/01/2018 22:39

Repulsive?! Steady on Ribbit

thecatfromjapan · 30/01/2018 22:41
HoppyHannah · 30/01/2018 22:44

Babies are great, the parents are often not though, and project their PFB on others to validate their wonderful parental skills.

Snort.

Get over yourselves. Not everyone is invested in your child for more than a minute really. Why would they be, could you tell me?

limitedperiodonly · 30/01/2018 22:44

I imagine the whole carriage was reading their Evening Standard Ribbitribbit001. Tonight I got one of those tiresome warriors who wanted me to move my bags from the seat next to me even though there were plenty of other seats because she wanted to make a point. I looked up, gestured at the other empty seats and got back to my reading. She went away. Eventually. However, I'd have welcomed a greeting from a gummy, dribbly baby

Flumpernickel · 30/01/2018 22:47

Well, OP, I have got to hand it to you, this thread is surpassing my initial expectations in the entertainment stakes!

Still laughing at crestfallen Grin

Loving the overly invested responses! Bravo! 👏 GrinGrin

ScreamingValenta · 30/01/2018 22:48

I don't have children and am generally useless at interacting with them, but I normally manage to return a wave/smile in this type of situation.

BadMam · 30/01/2018 22:53

If I happened to make eye contact with a stranger on public transport and kind of gave them a smile/nod and they responded by sticking their nose in their paper I'd think they were being goddam rude.

Why is it ok to be rude in exactly the same way to a small child?

He doesn't have to like children and I'm sure op didn't expect him to start a conversation about peppa pig, but a simple smile in acknowledgement wouldn't have killed the miserable git.

Elephant17 · 30/01/2018 23:19

It's not lighthearted is it though? Because there's nowhere to go once you've set your ' lighthearted' stall out if you don't agree with the OP.

It is lighthearted. Of course people can disagree, but there's a difference between saying 'I probably wouldn't have engaged as I'm not into babies' and something along the lines of 'nobody gives a shit about your annoying baby and waving's a pathetic development anyway' Hmm

Elephant17 · 30/01/2018 23:24

No. If they were like this at parties, the intense literalism would ensure an ever-dwindling pile of invites.

It's the slow death of MN by a heavy-footed literalism, larded with an unpleasantness mistaken for witty subversion by posters. AIBU strikes again.*

Nailed it thecatfromjapan

SilverySurfer · 30/01/2018 23:44

You know how much we like diagrams and photographs on here, I'm shocked you didn't take a photo of your pfb looking crestfallen Grin

Livelounge · 30/01/2018 23:54

Reminds me of working in retail and all the tedious kids I'd have to acknowledge out of politeness. Ugh nobody cares about your kids antics bar you and close family . Yawn off.

Original poster
Sashkin · 31/01/2018 00:15

SilverySurfer damn that never occurred to me!

I’ll know for next time GrinGrin

OP posts: