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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask what you think of the dad who value breastfeeding this much?

76 replies

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:28

I was wondering whether I'm right in thinking that, in general, Mumsnet is a pro-breastfeeding parenting website? That is, whilst recognizing that across the spectrum of our members there will be those who struggle to breastfeed as well as those who choose not to, and we remain sympathetic to the former whilst respecting the choices of the latter, the general principle of the benefits of breastfeeding is something we value? With the ongoing discussions about biological realities and safe spaces, I'm having a hard time getting my head around this journey: www.milkjunkies.net/p/my-story.html If a feminist identifies as Spartacus and a mother identifies as pro-breastfeeding, how can we put this story into that context?

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TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 30/01/2018 19:33

I'm not really sure what exactly you're asking?

blackcoffeeredwine · 30/01/2018 19:36

Good for him. I hope he manages to breastfeed for as long as possible.

thegreatbeyond · 30/01/2018 19:36

No idea what your point is. I like his story, though, and I read his book a few weeks ago.

Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:37

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thegreatbeyond · 30/01/2018 19:38

I think the translation of the OP is 'let's judge and criticise the trans man'.

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:39

Troll I guess just how to reconcile what I feel instinctively is wrong (a man saying he is a woman and invading the few spaces I have left) with this story of the other side of the fence...is this a mum or a dad doing the best for their baby? Or is this still part of the problem?

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tiktok · 30/01/2018 19:39

I don't understand your last sentence.

But this person is actually a mother, biologically speaking.

May have grown up hoping to BF :)

Why would transition change this feeling?

EggsonHeads · 30/01/2018 19:41

Spartacus is a typo?

Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:41

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Blackteadrinker77 · 30/01/2018 19:41

Wow, your views are awful

KimmySchmidt1 · 30/01/2018 19:42

I don’t think we’ve got any choice in the matter - scientifically there are undeniable benefits to breastfeeding. Only a twat would pretend that wasn’t the case.

It’s not a bid problem if you dont breast feed, but you don’t get to deny with science behind it.

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:48

I'm none the wiser than when I asked the question. I said I was asking how to put this story into the context of the many recent discussions on trans issues on here, especially the Spartacus thread, where people were saying it was a mental illness, they wouldn't use preferred pronouns etc. But I feel instinctively sympathetic to Trevor.

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NiceViper · 30/01/2018 19:49

Putting what you see as the best interests of your DC above your sense of self is utterly normal, and something parents do all the time.

I don't think MN has a unified view on what is the 'best' way to feed an infant (other than in the abstract - which tends to all fall over as soon as you start looking at individuals).

I'd say the spirit of MN is to support parents. Not criticise their descriptions of their choice of feeding because you don't like other aspects of their life.

Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:50

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PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:52

Because everyone on here always seems to put transwomen's lives into context....and some of the things that are said there bother me.

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Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:53

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PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:54

Just wondered how the gist of this site would be in the 'other direction' so as to speak.

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ArcheryAnnie · 30/01/2018 19:54

Someone who birthed a baby and breastfeeds that baby is a woman, even if they identify as something else.

If they want to breastfeed, great. If they don't want to, also great. Up to them. (But they aren't a breastfeeding dad, either way.)

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:54

Yeah, but you're calling him dude. But most of you say transwomen aren't women.

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Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:55

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SexTrainGlue · 30/01/2018 19:55

MN has no single 'gist' so I think you might be in a hiding to no-where on that one.

Let the parents feed their Dc as they wish.

PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:55

But he says he is a breastfeeding dad. That is my question.

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athingthateveryoneneeds · 30/01/2018 19:56

Trans identified males are taking over women's spaces, putting them at physical and mental risk. A trans identified female, accessing a LLL meeting to enable a successful breastfeeding relationship, is not doing anything of the kind. There is a huge difference.

Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 19:56

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PaiMeisWhiteEyebrows · 30/01/2018 19:56

Pengggwn I hope not. Will do an AS to see Wink

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