To feel sadness whenever I go on a council estate?

[TheHolyToast]

I was brought up on a huge council estate. It was the happiest time of my life. I used to play out with all the local kids, every night after school and every day during the holidays. The older kids taught me how to ride a bike and i still remember the feeling. The ice cream man used to come around and the siren sent all the kids running to their houses for money. The neighbours thought nothing of feeding kids that were not theirs - you'd simply go back to your friend's house and the mum would be like "so and so's bairn is here, put some extra fish fingers in". We would go and explore the local woods, play in the overgrown gardens of empty houses, everyone was happy and carefree. Everyone was friends.

Then my mum remarried into money and everything changed. All of a sudden it was "common" for kids to play in the street and I was sent to organised clubs instead where I didn't like anyone and they didn't like me. I changed school and the atmosphere was different, everyone compared how much their clothes and holidays cost, nobody just wanted to have fun, it was all about showing off what you had. I started playing truant as I quickly became friendless. There was no more playing in woods, no more "sweet van", god forbid you turn up at someone's house uninvited, you'd be sent straight back home again. I hated it and longed for our old house.

Anyway, 25 years on and I'm a community nurse now. I'm often working on council estates and in particular, my old estate. The sun always seems to be out in these areas, like I remember it.

The other day I went into a house that was identical to my old house. The memories started flooding back. The brown corduroy sofa and cheap mahogany furniture, Jackie from next door and the swinging chair she had attached to the ceiling. I started to feel upset but carried on with my work. Then at 3.30 the kids came bursting in, dropped their bags, announced that they were playing out and the mum shouted "make sure you come home for tea, fish fingers and waffles" then bang. The door shut and I watched the kids running down the garden path with their friends all stood near the gate waiting for them. I ended up quite upset at this point and the poor patient asked if I was ok. I told her her house reminded me of my old house and it was bringing back happy memories. She laughed and said "you lived around here? I thought all you nurses were posh? Surely you can't miss living on here??!" But I really, really do.

Money doesn't bring happiness does it? I feel it's ironic that throughout our lives, the focus seems to be on improving our financial circumstances yet the happiest time of my life was when I was at my poorest.

AIBU to pine for this stuff when it everyone else's eyes, we were just another poor family claiming benefits on a council estate?

I definitely agree with you, musicposy. I managed to get one of the two council houses left on an estate near to where I grew up. The others were all privately owned. My kids loved it because they got to play outside and there were lots of other children in close proximity. However, by the time I looked at buying a home (2004), they'd changed the right to buy rules. Instead of getting a percentage off, it was capped at £16,000. My house was valued at £450,000, making it impossible for me to purchase.

I think Thatcher knew exactly what she was doing when it came to the right to buy scheme. The kicker was that local authorities were not allowed to use the revenue generated to build more council housing. She knew that one generation (the baby boomers) would benefit, but that couldn't be avoided. The long term goal was to reduce social housing to next to nothing, forcing people to go into privately rented accommodation. The landlords are able to charge exorbitant rent because there is no council housing left for their tenants. They are usually Conservative voters, so in spite of what she said at the time, Thatcher introduced the right to buy scheme to benefit them, not us.

As my generation grew up, there was little to no council housing to move into and in order to be able to pay the rent charged, we had to move out of London. There are only a handful of people my age who are still living on the council estate I grew up on. It's like a different place and that makes me quite sad. I ended up moving for work, so I'm not there now either. I live waaay outside London, but the cost of renting one room here is more than it cost to rent my whole house in North London :( The cap on benefits have also caused more and more people to be forced out, even though that money was going to their Landlords. The gentrification of London breaks my heart. I think the government wants to create ghettos for working class families, wring every last penny out of us via rent, then not want to give us the social security we already paid into. If we're not out there making a profit for them and paying stupidly high rent, then they want us gone asap :(

Totally agree, I was raised on a council estate and had the best time! You're so right , everyone was friends whether you were 5 or 15. We played out all day

I wouldn't let my kids outside to play until they are older the world is a different place now to back how it was growing up years ago there not safe if u miss it that much go live there I bet u soon change u're mind as an adult things are very different from children's view it's neglect on some part some kids thrown out to play and they spend more time outside getting into all sorts instead of doing family things together that can make better memory tne kids end up turning into wee shits as they get older doing things they shouldn't now a days there's no respect for anyone off kids They don't care u had a gd opertunity to leave and enjoy the good life and u wasted the education u could have had I get u missed it but sounds like you never gaveit a chance just cause they didn't play outside and u had to be invited for dinner seems u are crying over something so unimportant if ure not happy were u live investigate areas that have gd community spirit and are interested in neighbors and move there and make new memory for ure kids

I know exactly what you mean OP- I feel a sense of nostalgia for not having much, and often think that the life is easier like that. But I know how trapped and stressed and worried my lovely Mum was, and I believe it contributed to her becoming ill and dying far too young. I think we like the nostalgia of feeling protected and looked after- we didn't have to worry about anything- unlike the poor adults above us who had to work out how to look after us on next to nothing!

I know what you mean OP. I grew up on a rough Cardiff estate and it was so bad in the early 80s, that the buses and taxis would not go up there after dark!
Anyway, our street seemed to be an oasis compared to the rest of the estate, all the kids would play outside, we could go into the local woods and spend all day there without even worrying about 'weirdos' and not many cars were around so we could play football in the street.
My dad still lives in the same house and the estate has 'improved', but instead of gangs of rampant youths (who only chucked things at cars, buses and taxis), there are now druggies, gang fights and burglaries all the time.
My dad could move out anytime he wanted, but he's been there for so long, he can't be bothered.
It is sad seeing the way council estates have gone from having decent people in them, but they were poor and now to having 'bad' people in richer houses.
Most of the houses round my dad's are community run and they seem to have all the problem families!

Just enjoy your nostalgia. I think it’s great that you have focused on the great part of your memories. It doesn’t matter if it was accurate or not as it made you smile.