To think choosing your wedding dress is not the magical experience I have been peddled?!

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I chose my wedding dress this weekend.

I don't feel joy. I feel relief that I may never have to go through that experience again

I went on my own because I always shop on my own. I am no virginal slip of a bride that I thought I required a chaperone (32 and well...I had a lot of fun in my youth ) and I know what I like. Also I'm NC with my mother at the moment and my best friend just blindly says I look lovely in everything, even the time I looked like a Creme brûlée at our sixth form prom.

I paid £10 before I was permitted to look upon the dresses. This was supposed to include a glass of fizz, but the lady had run out, so I had a tap water.

The lady was nice, but even though I told her what I wanted, she brought me lots of netty monstrosities 'just to wow' me they did not wow me. I looked like the toilet roll lady my Nan used to have in her loo.

I normally wear a size 10. Some of the dresses in a 14 wouldn't do up why do they cut them so tiny?! I have a little bit of Christmas pork to lose but still...

I found the dress I loved. The price tag was £1800 I'm wondering whether to just put a down payment on it, which seems like a good ideajust so I never have to repeat this process ever again I am horrified at that amount of money, but it was truly the only one I thought 'that looks amazing even though my hair is stuck to my face, I'm not wearing the right underwear and I've just bloody well had enough'

It looks like it's a lovely magical experience on TV!

When my friend got married last year, she went to a place where you ring a little bell in your changing room, to signify you had found 'the one' (dress, not fiancé, I presume ) and all the other brides to be would come and ooh and ahh at you.

I unfortunately burst out in scoffing laughing when she told me that, and she didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. So while that was not the experience I was aiming for, I was hoping for...oh, I don't know a bit of enchantment! fizz would have helped

Was I expecting too much?

Golden wedding this year, dress cost £3-10s, it was a lacy mini-dress, never even considered proper 'wedding dresses', took 10 minutes from walking into the shop to walking out. Oddly enough, my photos look far less gross and dated than others of the period with their big frocks and enormous bouquets!

I also went up two demoralizing sizes, and nobody said ooh this would suit you. I was 21 and size 12 so not huge, I had a pretty face and cool long hair and felt so horribly judged and manhandled by the white gloves assistants. I also had to stand on a box as at 5'4" apparently they had nothing in my length. So I left as a hot fat dwarf. Deeply unpleasant. I still bought one, so that I wouldn't have to repeat the experience. Perhaps it's better if you pick out the dressses online first, then have those 6 waiting for you in your size?

I always loved the thought of it and I did have a couple of nice experiences.

However there were two shops where I turned up for appointments with a friend, really didn’t like any enough to be bothered to try anything on, but felt too embarrassed to just walk out, so stayed and spent an hour getting in and out of a few randomly chosen dresses and making noises about how nice they were.

I wore a skimpy thong to the first appointment, not realising that the assistants have to kneel in front of you holding the dress open and helping you balance whilst you clamber into it one leg after the other.

One thing that annoyed me in some shops was they make you stand on a foot-high box (in heels), with the skirt reaching down to the floor covering the box, so your proportions magically change to a Disney princess. What a con!

Oh and the fact that it’s the most expensive garment you’ll ever buy and yet you can’t even try it on in your size before purchase! Unless you happen to be a size 14, 7 foot tall woman!

I can’t get over a ship charging you to view??! I would’ve turned around and gone elsewhere at that point! That’s ridiculous!
I went to a small family run boutique near my parents house and they were so lovely, found gorgeous dress under £1k and negotiated alterations for £100. It’s gorgeous and it looks loads more expensive that it is. I wouldnt have paid over £1k for one day dress but everyone has a different opinion. I didn’t get the ‘feeling’ either but I loved how it looked so bought it. For that amount I’d be reluctant to put a non-refundable deposit down just to get it over with, there’s so much out there cheaper than that that will look equally gorgeous!

It’s a beautiful dress OP. You will look stunning.

Shop not ship 😂

Beautiful dress OP. I didn't enjoy it, the woman in the first shop made it feel like a cheap market stall, when it was an expensive shop. She kept hard selling, if you buy it today it's the last one and the price is only x today- you better hurry now, someone else tried it on earlier - urgh. The one I loved looked awful on once I'd tracked a shop down that had it in. Eventually got a good deal on one in sales, was completely different style to what I began with in my head. Glad I've only done it once!

I hope you have a great day anyway OP. Given the photos will be around for a long time, I'd normally say buy the dress you feel fab in but that is a lot of money

How dare they charge you £10 for just trying on! I'd ask for the money back and then if they don't cough up, name and shame on social media.

I've only been wedding shop dressing once, and it wasn't for me. I went with a good friend. She and I had both broken up with our long term boyfriends at the same time, except he did the 'oh my God what have I done routine' and proposed.

So whilst I was in the depression of break-up, she was taking me round wedding gown shops. I don't know why she asked me, or why I agreed . I was heartbroken.

I'm engaged now (not to him, that was 10 years ago!) and don't actually want to get married, (whole other thread) glad to here I'm not missing out

First wedding: I asked to try on a dress that was displayed in the window. It fitted perfectly; I bought it. There was a funny moment when my SIL to be talked about accessorising it (this was the 80s), and the lady in the shop started shrieking about gilding the lily .

Second wedding: I saw a photo in a magazine, phoned the company and found a local-ish stockist. I went to be measured and then they phoned me when my dress was ready.

No bells; no fizz; no fuss. Oddly, 10 years apart, the two dresses were exactly the same price!

I too stood on the box. Apparently to see how it would look if I 'had a bit of height'

I doubt I'm going to randomly shout up six inches in the next twelve months

I love the one you linked to OP. As long as the knees aren’t fitted to tight as it could be a bit mermaid-esque otherwise.

That model is standing on a foot-high box I’m sure!

Agree. Did the obligatory appointment and lunch with DM, sis and friend at a raved about shop people travel miles to. Hated every moment, clothes all size 10 (was a 14 at the time) so I had to have a panel pinned in every one so nothing fitted at all. Was also bought things they thought I'd like rather than chose them for myself.

Ended up going by myself on a day off to a different shop and buying it on my own in the end. sales assistant was fab and let me choose what I wanted to try on and all fitted well

I have been looking on eBay but I'm too scared of not liking it when it came then I'm stuck with it.

OP, if you would consider second-hand on ebay, you can find someone locally and go round to their house and try it on. My seller was in the next town and I tried it on before buying. Also, try www.preloved.co.uk where most of them are pick-up only (i.e try before you buy). I was only looking for 2 weeks and I found about 10 that I could have quite easily bought. The thing about wedding dresses is that when they've been worn once the resale price goes down by about 75%!

I've never been to a Wed2Be but the website looks great, eg this.

Fo my wedding dress I got a personal shopping appointment at Dickens and Jones and I bought a blueberry-coloured velvet gown with a matching fur-trimmed jacket. Loved it.

Oh, I paid online beforehand, I didn't know there wouldn't be any fizz left when I got there!

She assured me it was normal to have to pay for the privilege of being amongst the dresses

Oh I loved trying wedding dresses on, I was thin then. Trying on a ball gown 11 years later I wanted to run and scream - to a lipo clinic.

OP whatever you decide make sure they have a seamstress ON THR PREMISES it will save an awful lot off faffing with alternations.

Alterations even

I'd be very, very wary of lightinthebox. I was taken in by the thousands of bridesmaid's dresses for less than £100, so I thought I'd buy a pair of shoes to test the water- they were only about a tenner so nothing to lose really. I'm glad I did. What were pictured on the site as ivory satin embellished ballet pumps were actually white patent plastic with a few crappy beads stuck on them. They were absolutely hilariously shit, and I laughed and binned them, but if I'd spent hundreds of pounds and got something so bad I'd have been livid. It's easy to get complacent about online shopping when you're used to household names and free returns, but the whole episode reminded me to check trustpilot before I buy from a new site.

I really like the photos of your dress OP. It's rather lovely! I went to Phase 8 to try one on that was in the sale. It wasn't the worst but wasn't terribly flattering either. Tried on a second one they offered and bought that the same afternoon. So nice and easy, no hard sell, a sensible price and I love my dress! I just went with the mum's as couldn't bear the thought of wrestling in and out of lots of expensive dresses with people being critical as I'm rather tubby We did pop in to some other bridal shops in the area after asking Phase 8 to hold the dress for a couple of hours but I saw nothing I liked as much or wanted to try on and the prices of them...! Eyewatering! Having a cheaper dress has meant money left to have some boots made and some nice accessories

tdr-bridaloutlet.co.uk/affordable-wedding-dresses/

What size ar you

I just ordered a few dresses from the BHS website (when it was still a shop!) from their wedding section (all under £100 in the sale) and tried them on at home. Settled on a lovely 80 quid one that looked a lot pricier, also got all the flower girl bits from there.

I got mine from an Oxfam Bridal shop. It cost £80 (ten years ago) and took a pleasant 30 min

I would highly reccomend it

I found my dress in a department store where the bridal suite was closing down. I got everything half price with my lovely friend. When she got married two years later I got to go dress shopping with her.

I guess it is something some of us like and some not. But I do like the bell idea!

I lived in london when I was getting married, so tried lots of places there, mostly on my own initially, thinking I'd work out a short list and then take mum/sis/friends for final choice. But was really unimpressed, thought most places didn't have much choice, prices were getting high for nothing particularly special... very disheartening.

My mother kept bugging me to go and have a look at the little wedding shop my dsis had bought her dress from, in a local town. I put it off for ages - on the basis that if I was going to all the so called good wedding shops in London and finding nothing then what was the point of going to a little local place.

Turned out she was right. The little local place was much more friendly than any of the london places and had a much bigger stock as well as a lot more in bigger sizes including samples in bigger sizes to get an idea if you were not a svelte size 8. The prices were also a heck of a lot cheaper, including for some of the same things I'd seen in London. Seemed in London that there were many more places that just sold one or two different suppliers, whereas this lady had loads and loads of different brands. There were a couple of ladies that had been running it for a long time and they were both very down to earth and brutally honest - and quite happy to say that they thought the £400 dress looked better on someone than the £1000 dress if they thought that it did, whereas in London I felt I was just a cog in a machine and they wanted to extract as much money from me as possible so they would say whatever they needed to to get me to buy the most expensive dress possible.

Happy to pass the name of the shop on if you're anywhere near the South Midlands - 15ish years later on and they're still going! They definitely were not a trendy wedding boutique that will get lots of write ups and instagram hits - just friendly and knowledgeable. However, having done all the trendy and highly recommended places in London at the time, with so little joy, that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise and they were great. So good in fact that I ended up sending another couple of friends up to have a look from London, despite it being nowhere near them, when they got fed up looking for dresses in London too.

Good luck in finding somewhere great to get your dress from!