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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not give neighbor internet password?

712 replies

NegansDollFace · 29/01/2018 21:21

I’ve lived at my current address for 3 years, 4 in November 2018. The house next door is split into two flats, one upstairs and one down. So I’ve never been particularly close to my next door neighbors. We exchange (limited) pleasantries if we see each other and they’ve taken in a parcel for me once and I for them a few times. They work night times and there’s a bit of a language barrier so we legitimately don’t have any relationship beyond polite.

Tonight when I was at our local supermarket when I saw neighbor from the upstairs flat, I smiled an acknowledged him but moved to go to the self checkout. He followed and began a conversation asking how I was, fine, fine but when I ask him how he is he tells me not so good. He goes onto explain that downstairs neighbors have moved out and took their internet with them. I can already see where this is going so he asked if he could have my WiFi password and that he was willing to pay for it. I was put on the spot so I told him I’d speak to him when I’m home.

I’m home now and really am hoping the fact that I haven’t gotten back to him will speak for itself. What would you all say/do? I have incredibly bad social anxiety and I’m very awkward in these situations. Am I BU to just tell him no? And feel like he’s being cheeky? Surely if he shared internet with the flat below they’d have told him they were moving so he’d have time to get a different provider? Also if he’s willing to pay to use mine wouldn’t it just be easier to get his own installed?

OP posts:
spiney · 31/01/2018 09:48

Be polite. Be firm. Don't explain ( they will try to undermine every reason ) imagine all of us MN people standing behind you

Note down these events. Think about 101. Police Community Officer.

mommytoboo86 · 31/01/2018 10:00

don't do it!!!
I get on really great with my neighbour but I wanted to do him physical harm back over the summer I really did! He asked if he could have my password and I gave it to him within the week my internet service was terrible. my signal dropped and we could only have 2 devices running in our household at any given time or it would slow down to the point fb would take 5 mins to load or refresh. I couldn't watch my now tv if hubby was on the tablet and my daughter was pulling her hair out that her my little pony was "spinning spinning spinning" (buffering).
I ended up changing the password a month later and he got his own so it didn't cause a row but it came very close.
x

Flowerfae · 31/01/2018 10:00

I think they are up to something dodgy and they want your IP. Anyone that desperate for WiFi would make cut-backs somewhere to able to afford there own. Not that anyone is that desperate for WiFi that they have to harrass the neighbours anyway.

MichaelBendfaster · 31/01/2018 10:04

I'd call 101.

Fintress · 31/01/2018 10:07

Well done OP for standing up to the bullies. If they are willing to pay you as they say they are, why can't they just buy a bloody dongle or the like. Definitely seek advice about the harassment.

NoTreble · 31/01/2018 10:08

What horrid people. Good on you for standing your ground. Just keep saying no. They have no right to expect this from anyone, let alone someone they don't know, and especially someone they are behaving so badly towards.

If they push you for a reason, just say you have a capped limit on your broadband and it's just not capable of additional usage.

They just need to either pay for their own or not have it, just like the rest of us grown ups have to. Simple as that.

As others have already pointed out, you wouldn't share your other utilities with neighbours (water, electricity) and this is no different.

If they keep hassling you in this way you definitely need to take further action via landlord or police, or both.

Anxieties or not, anyone would be shaken up by their behaviour. You are doing brilliantly.

ilovekitkats · 31/01/2018 10:10

OP. If they can't afford wifi, then that is their problem not yours. I would not be letting anyone use my wifi either. They are the ultimate CF in trying to get something for free/cheap that the rest of us have to pay for.

Log all incidents of noise/harrassment. Email your letting agent and advise them what has happened, as it will form part of a paper trail should you need it. The agent could give them notice to quit if necessary, so it is worth keeping full records of everything.

blueskypink · 31/01/2018 10:12

If they push you for a reason, just say you have a capped limit on your broadband and it's just not capable of additional usage.

Don't let them push you for a reason - just say no firmly and politely. Every time you give a reason it gives them an opportunity to prolong the discussion. If you give the reason above they'll say you could increase it and they'll pay the difference. If you cite security they'll accuse you of thinking them dishonest. Unreasonable I know but they will try and wear you down with their irrational arguments.

"No" is the only response you need to make.

kingjofferyworksintescos · 31/01/2018 10:21

I would bet this is why the other neighbours moved out ......
Stay strong op you are doing well , don't be bullied , go to the police ,LL , citizens advice , council etc etc .

Farmerswife36 · 31/01/2018 10:24

Do these people have no shame ? My goodness they are persistent . Welldone op you have handled it brilliant . Why were they banging on the walls though ? That's doesn't make sense at all ? I would have asked them why they were banging and explained that your child has special needs ? They sound horribly selfish people

Littlemissdaredevil · 31/01/2018 10:26

Please contact letting agency today and complain

Also contact the non-emergency number and log this harassment

If they want free WiFi they can go an sit in McDonald’s!!!!

MichaelBendfaster · 31/01/2018 10:27

If they push you for a reason, just say you have a capped limit on your broadband and it's just not capable of additional usage.

No. You don't need to explain anything. 'No. I'm shutting the door/walking away now. Don't ask me again.'

That's all you need.

seafooodplatter · 31/01/2018 10:51

Don't engage with them any further.

Just say No, please stop harassing me. Close the door/walk away.

You could get involved in all sorts of problems if somebody uses your WiFi for illegal or unsavoury things. Besides, if they used it for things like Netflix or streaming films your speed could be very poor and prevent you from using it properly.

They are lazy cheap skates and need telling under no uncertain terms to piss off and buy their own connection.

NegansDollFace · 31/01/2018 11:17

Thank you for the massive support. This is essentially why I posted here. MN posters tend to give you brutal honesty with a shove in the right direction. I’m so grateful as I’d probably have called my sister to deal with it which wouldn’t have got me anywhere. Flowers

This morning’s incident has really cemented in my mind that I made the right choice in ringing the letting agent this morning. I had the front door open this morning as we were so late (didn’t get to school until 10:45!) getting DD out the door for school (major melt down this morning!) as I stood in our hallway putting on DD’s coat I heard NDN’s girlfriend mimicking my speech ‘No’ speech, stuttering and all - “N-No my p-provider says no! Boohoohoo!”. Went out to see her having a smoke and giggle with her friend I recognize as she’s stayed over with them a few times.

I had to shrug it off as we were so late but I’m in mum and tots group with DS(2) I’ve really had time to stew. I rang agent as soon as I’d dropped DD off and explained the situation plus mailed them the hammering on the walls. They said this wasn’t acceptable behavior and they’d certainly sort it. Someone will be out to have a chat with them this afternoon.

OP posts:
123MothergotafleA · 31/01/2018 11:20

Nasty horrible people, that's what they are. Definitely get it all logged/ reported or whatever. Under no circumstances give them or anyone else your internet password that You are paying for!
Good heavens, the absolute cheek of people, brass necks indeed.
Just stay firm and strong Op. Please.

zzzzz · 31/01/2018 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

123MothergotafleA · 31/01/2018 11:22

Oh, well done you Op.!! Good woman!

123MothergotafleA · 31/01/2018 11:24

Yes, we are all behind you Op. Hold your nerve there now.

Knittedfairies · 31/01/2018 11:33

When you're talking to the letting agent remember to tell them all you've told us here; this morning's mimicking and all. If your neighbours turn up and your door just imagine everyone on this thread standing at your shoulder, willing you on.

TheMerryWidow1 · 31/01/2018 11:33

you go girl!!!! you are doing so well.

MeridianB · 31/01/2018 12:01

Hi OP
I just wanted to add to the support others have given. I think you are doing brilliantly and should be really proud of yourself. Their behaviour is not normal and I'd find it really upsetting, too.

I think this post (below) from yesterday really sums it up well. Don't doubt yourself.

Sending tons of positive thoughts. Flowers

BabooshkaBabooshka Tue 30-Jan-18 15:31:45

Btw OP, I think most people would feel extremely anxious and paranoid in such a situation. It is not normal for complete strangers to ask for something totally unreasonable and then get aggressive when you don't acquiesce. Don't doubt yourself. These people are completely without shame and do not adhere to social norms. I would also be totally freaking out and shaking to be confronted in the way you were. You are acting completely normally and as rationally as you can in such a bizarre situation.

phoebemac · 31/01/2018 12:15

They are absolute shits, OP. I am fuming on your behalf!

swampytiggaa · 31/01/2018 12:24

Well done for calling the agents. This thread has made me feel anxious and I generally have no issues with anxiety x lots of love and strength to you x

mommytoboo86 · 31/01/2018 12:25

I obviously missed something the first time so I've just seen ur posts about the other stuff... the council would be your best bet regarding the noise if it continues after the agency has had a word but even the council are patchy at best. my upstairs neighbours are a frigging nightmare. they bang constantly all day long and literally do everything 10 times louder than they need to. I made the mistake of speaking to them about the noise as my daughter also has sn but know they are even worse. I banged on the ceiling yesterday in an attempt to show her how loud bangs were and the woman started banging back and then as I went outside for a smoke I heard her telling her little girl to stomp like mummy!!
today all morning it's constantly been drawers opening and closing quicker than any1 could possible do unless they are just opening and closing them.
I've told her this morning that she has 2 choices keep it down or be introduced to heavy metal as the cheeky cow had the balls to knock on my door to complain when I turned the radio up to drown out her banging and tell me the music was driving her crazy. I'm fully expecting another knock from her partner when he gets home and the running up & down the stairs for 10 mins like usual, despite the fact that he's skinny as anything and a very large lady that visited a few weeks ago managed to walk up the stairs without making a sound

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 31/01/2018 12:26

Well done OP!
At this rate, lack of Internet will be the least of their problems once letting agent gets on their case.

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