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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not give neighbor internet password?

712 replies

NegansDollFace · 29/01/2018 21:21

I’ve lived at my current address for 3 years, 4 in November 2018. The house next door is split into two flats, one upstairs and one down. So I’ve never been particularly close to my next door neighbors. We exchange (limited) pleasantries if we see each other and they’ve taken in a parcel for me once and I for them a few times. They work night times and there’s a bit of a language barrier so we legitimately don’t have any relationship beyond polite.

Tonight when I was at our local supermarket when I saw neighbor from the upstairs flat, I smiled an acknowledged him but moved to go to the self checkout. He followed and began a conversation asking how I was, fine, fine but when I ask him how he is he tells me not so good. He goes onto explain that downstairs neighbors have moved out and took their internet with them. I can already see where this is going so he asked if he could have my WiFi password and that he was willing to pay for it. I was put on the spot so I told him I’d speak to him when I’m home.

I’m home now and really am hoping the fact that I haven’t gotten back to him will speak for itself. What would you all say/do? I have incredibly bad social anxiety and I’m very awkward in these situations. Am I BU to just tell him no? And feel like he’s being cheeky? Surely if he shared internet with the flat below they’d have told him they were moving so he’d have time to get a different provider? Also if he’s willing to pay to use mine wouldn’t it just be easier to get his own installed?

OP posts:
pasturesgreen · 30/01/2018 08:28

Your neighbours are entitled CFs of the highest order. I wouldn't dream to ask my NDN for his wifi password, and we have a pretty good neighbourly relationship and have each other's house keys.

As expat says, I'd consider not even opening the door to them when they come back. I certainly wouldn't go into any sort of reasoning or explaining with them ("I spoke to my provider...to my first cousin once removed...I emailed BT"...NO!). They're the sort of people who'll work round any objections you might raise. The veiled threats about the noise would have been the nail in the coffin for me.

Wishing you strength for today, OP! 💐

AnneOfCleavage · 30/01/2018 08:31

Now I'm wondering if the neighbours who shared their wifi have moved out because they wanted out from this arrangement but were too nervous to say no more.

DGRossetti · 30/01/2018 08:36

Domestic BT broadband routers have a separate public access point which makes up the "BT FON" network which is then available to all BT broadband customers anywhere in the UK.

This is possible because all BT Total Broadband customers who've opted in agree to securely share, with other members who're in range of their signal, a portion of their Wi-Fi bandwidth through a separate channel on their Hub.

Been a while since I set up a BT line, but it used to be that it was enabled by default.

Any BT customers who don't like the idea of community might want to check and disable.

AgathaF · 30/01/2018 08:37

Speak to your agent today about their behaviour, and your landlord too if appropriate. If the antisocial behaviour continues then also speak to the police or your local PCSO. You need to get in there first and you need to not give them any mileage with this one. They are in the wrong. That's it. So you need to act if they are now harrassing or threatening you. And personally I would take the girlfriends comment about letting me think about it and coming back the next day as a threat.
Protect yourself early, don't let this escalate.

midnightmisssuki · 30/01/2018 08:38

Sorry OP - these sound absolute crazy CF neighbours. Anxiety is awful and this must be worrying you. Imagine how your anxiety will be once you give them the password - they could be downloading ANYTHING.

I understand how anxious you must be re confrontation, if you really didn’t want to just tell them ‘no’ then you have a few options, change your password/username and then give them the old password, then they come back to say it is isnt working, say it isn’t working for you either and your speaking to the provider/someone coming out to check. Follow this up with you deciding not to have WiFi anyway and going on pay as you go so you can’t share that.

Another one is blaming your provider - saying that it’s in the contract that if you share your password the contract would be void. And you’re not comfortable with this.

You could also say you are on a limited tariff - so wouldn’t like to go over and with two other people using it - it would go over.

I don’t know if I’m helping with my suggestions, but I have mild anxiety so I know a little bit of what you must be feeling. I hope it works out for you. Good luck!

Vibe2018 · 30/01/2018 08:38

Would a white noise machine block out the noise for your daughter. Maybe they'll get bored making the noise and stop soon - hopefully its not something they keep up longterm.

HotelEuphoria · 30/01/2018 08:40

Your internet is already poor, so no sorry, when extra gadgets are connected to it, it grinds to a halt. Best if you get your own mate.

BulletFox · 30/01/2018 08:42

I really do not understand the mentality of people like this.

Why would they want to display aggressive behaviour which might be upsetting? They're just thugs.

splatattack · 30/01/2018 08:45

This is disgusting behaviour from them...do not give in!! You are in the right here...

MsJolly · 30/01/2018 08:49

Bit sure why they think intimidating you will work TBH. Nasty CF.
Just say no, my internet provider says I can't , so sorry, & leave it at that.
And yes to start recording if they keep up with the banging-I suspect not as it will get tedious for them to keep going.

MsJolly · 30/01/2018 08:50

Unsure

Emmasmum2013 · 30/01/2018 08:52

I'd say you've got too many devices on it already and it won't handle any more. You've no idea what kind of things he might be looking at on the internet.

Then go into your settings on your router and hide the connection so he can't even see it, let alone try and connect to it.

He's definitely being a CF for even asking.

splendide · 30/01/2018 08:57

I totally agree don't give these arseholes your password but this

You'll be liable if they illegally download pirated content, child porn, use it for drug dealing and so on.

is not correct.

Slarti · 30/01/2018 09:04

The neighbours are CFs but there is a hell of a lot of paranoia and downright strange thinking on this thread.

Sharing your WiFi isn't like sharing your gas or electricity.
Giving your wifi password to someone isn't the same as giving them your house keys.
Hacking your online banking is about as likely as having your bank card details memorised at the checkout. Not very!
If the NDN did anything "dodgy" it would be their device that would be flagged, not the OP's.

myusernamewastaken · 30/01/2018 09:05

Can someone tell me how to change my password....im with BT and the password is on the back of the hub ...i didnt realise i was supposed to change it....also my kids friends use it when they come round...is this wrong too?

GoodyHemlock · 30/01/2018 09:08

splendide If the OP is with certain providers and something is downloaded illegally using their account then the OP will receive a letter about it, warning them to stop.

No idea if there are any consequences after that, but it is obviously something they keep track off, so could potentially be used against the OP.

Emmasmum2013 · 30/01/2018 09:14

@myusernamewastaken
You need to browse to your routers admin page.

To change the admin password on your BT Smart Hub, start by opening a new web browser on a device connected to your Hub and type 192.168.1.254 in the address bar - this will open the Hub manager.

You can change any password from there - obviously you have to be connected to your home internet at time.

But be warned - you'll have to re-connect any device you've got on wifi with the new password.

myusernamewastaken · 30/01/2018 09:24

Thank you @Emmasmum2013 ....i will have a go now x

Emmasmum2013 · 30/01/2018 09:25

@splendide
If the neighbour starts torrenting illegal media (e.g. pirated films or music) and the ISP flags the activity, it will be OP that gets the letter through the door. Just not worth the hassle and worry in my opinion.

If you did decide to give him your password, there are things you can do on your router to make sure his speeds are limited for the devices he connects to it.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 30/01/2018 09:25

OP, don't let them harass or intimidate you, both of these are reportable offences. I hate to think of you being scared in your own home.
I hope you managed to get some sleep.
Don't feel alone, we're all here for you, if you need any advice.🌸

Emmasmum2013 · 30/01/2018 09:26

@myusernamewastaken no probs! Once a tech support always a tech support haha.
PM me if you need a hand.

Gladisgood · 30/01/2018 09:28

They are bullies. I hate bullies.

I am not good at confrontation either, so I can empathise/ sympathise. Flowers

If they come again tell them you have decided to cancel your internet contract so that you can pay for sound proofing. ( then change the name of it!)

I'd also think about actually soundproofing your bedrooms.

mumpoints · 30/01/2018 09:31

The terms and conditions of my provider are breached if I give out my WiFi password. Plus, DH's work contract (he works from home sometimes) would be broken.

A neighbour asked me, knocked on the door with pen and paper in her hand. I had never met her before! I just said no politely and they were shocked. Some people seem to think it is "free"!

splendide · 30/01/2018 09:35

If the neighbour starts torrenting illegal media (e.g. pirated films or music) and the ISP flags the activity, it will be OP that gets the letter through the door. Just not worth the hassle and worry in my opinion.

I agree with this but that's a very long way for saying the OP would be "responsible" for their neighbour downloading abusive images or for drug dealing!

MadMags · 30/01/2018 09:36

This is beyond the WiFi at this stage.

You need to report the banging to your landlord today. And be sure and tell them that your next complaints will be to the council.

Please don’t worry about your dd making noise. That is NOT the same thing!

I would actually suggest calling the police saying you’re worried about the banging noise next door, but everyone on here will give out yards about wasting police time...

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