AIBU to think people are being unreasonable to complain about dirty cars, dog hair in our car?

[ConfusedWife1234]

DH has a a work mate he gave a ride a few times. We have dogs, we regularly vacuum the car but sometimes there is dog hair in the car. Yesterday dh complained he had to vacuum the car again because he was giving him a ride today. The car was not really dirty inside, just a few dog hairs. I had vacuumed it just two days before.
I thought it was over the top because, we have four children, dogs and one cannot expect everything to be immaculate. How do you think?
AIBU to think other people are BU to expect this?

How often do you go to the car wash?

onalongsabbatical
over-reacting much? How do you jump from hoovering the car to relationship problems? Some posters have issues, but not the ones you seem to think!

Could you put a lint roller in the car and your hubby could whip it over the seat before his friend climbs in?

DP drives me bloody mad with the car cleaning stuff. My car is a means of transport and one of the things it transports is me, DD and the dogs . So it gets muddy and messy especially in the winter.

The amount of fuss he makes about it.

If he wants to waste his weekend cleaning his own car (he does, the bloody thing is spotless) then fine but I think of mine as a work tool not a show piece.

It's different in the house where I'm more likely to tidy than he is so I guess swings and roundabouts. He does clean and de-clutter my car.

I've hoovered my car about twice in the last five years. I have moderately low hygiene standards and don't have children or dogs though!

If he wants to hoover it then let him. Nothing worse than dog hair on your clothes.

Dh otoh hand thinks I am dirty

Your DH thinks you’re dirty? Just in regard to the car, or the house & you personally too?

I want our children to see more of him

If he’s choosing not to spend time with them, why is that?

I never complain about the state of someone’s car if they’re being kind enough to give me a lift

If the guy is complaining then HIBU but it doesn’t sound like he necessarily is? If it’s just DH wanting the car to be nice then that’s his choice. As long as he’s doing the cleaning then it’s fair enough.

Annie Yes, he actually thinks I am dirty but then I guess he thinks most civvies are dirty.

I think he can be a bit odd at times when it comes to cleanness. E.g. he thinks it is dirty to use bath salt because he thinks bathing is dirtier than taking a shower per se and he thinks the salt is unclean because there might be mud in the bath salt.

He is not choosing not to see his children, he just needs to work a lot.

scaryteacher Nope, dh is mine lol, but the both of them should talk about claeanness. Maybe your can convince mine.

But to answer your actual question...

I was getting my previous car hoovered & washed by ‘the guys that do cars’ (for about £20, inside, outside, wheels blacked etc) about once every two months. It wasn’t often enough really, but where we live, it’s pretty muddy/dusty (all year round due to country roads) so as soon as I go anywhere, the car looks like it’s never been washed and the inside is muddy & dusty really quickly too.

I picked up a new, pristine, car last week...it’s already very muddy & dusty inside and out 🙁 but, other than move, there’s fuck all I can do about it. I don’t know how I’m going to keep this one cleaner looking?!

I can’t wash it or hoover it at home without a monumental amount of fuss as the parking isn’t on a driveway, but in a communal parking area.

Towards the end of having my previous car I could see the damage the ‘car guys’ had done to the paintwork, so I won’t be using them again. One place even scratched the windscreen really badly.

I’ve looked at a couple of local valet services, I was hoping for a regular booking it would be more reasonable, but it wasn’t. £120 per time, for quite a basic package.

I suppose I’m going to have to find either a brushless carwash & self hoover machine or a totally ‘diy’ car clean place. Urgh. I FAR prefer paying someone else to do it.

If anyone has a car cleaning obsessed DH they want out from underfoot, I’d be happy to look after them for a few hours. I make good tea & nice scones apparently?!

Mine gets cleaned by the garage when it is serviced. So once a year or thereabouts. DH will sometimes clear the debris off the back seat if he is giving his mum a lift. That's about it. No pets or kids and we don't eat in there so it's just messy not dirty.

We used to lift share with a neighbour for the school run and one little lad and his dad used to comment on how messy it was but I am not fussed. It's a car, so long as it's warm and it goes I am not bothered.

Actually I also used to vacumm it after taking the Christmas tree to the recycling centre but now the council collects the trees. So that's one job a year less!

Well op l have 2 dcs and a dog and my car is pretty dirty most of the time ,l collect paper, and wrappers etc daily but hoovering , once a month!

With sporty kids and a gundog, it gets pretty dirty.

I couldn’t be with a man who thought I was dirty.

Mind you, other than the ‘muddy car’ problem, they’d have to have ‘issues’ to find me dirty so there would probably be a whole host of reasons we weren’t compatible, but making me feel they thought I was dirty would be relationship ending for sure.

He is ‘choosing’ not to spend time with his kids because he’s prioritising other things when he’s not working. Why?

I wouldn't want to get in a dirty car. I would make my own way somewhere if I was going to get dog hair on me tbh.

Our cars are immaculate. DH is in the military he washes them every weekend, even if mine has just been sat on the drive. He's got his own Dyson for the cars and has been known to wash them in the rain.

DS1 is also military he's quite anal about his car too but not as anal as DS2 who is a student nurse.

I never use a car wash. I give it a rub down with a damp cloth whenever I notice that it's a bit grubby. And then it rains.

My cars absolutely fucked because of the dogs I’ve had in it, but I’m very much of the mantra- the dog travels with me everywhere I go, after DD he is my priority, if you don’t like dog hair or the smell of dog, I completely understand, and you can walk/grab the bus/taxi.

I won’t be giving people a lift anywhere if they wanna get judgemental about the state of my car- the only person who can do that is the poor man who cleans it, and continuously says, very very disgusting. In the course of a week the dog and child have seen that it’s covered in slobber/fur/mud and god knows what else and I generally drive about on building sites each day so the outside is bad too.

But your DH was complaining not the friend?

Give the mate a copy of auto trader

Annie Dh had to help a friend because he was renovating his house. I think he had to do it because he promised. That‘s a bit like him. He is always out there saving the world, like giving people a lift, helping them renovate their house. That‘s very him.
Still I think he should eat with his kids at least once a day when he is not away for a job. Maybe I start another thread.

I clear my car a bit before giving ppl lifts because I'm embarrassed but mine is a complete dump. Yours sounds better looked after! But my ex used to get uptight about car condition but didn't notice House condition. I was opposite. Up to your dh if he wants to do extra cleaning as long as you're not roped in!

My car is always dirty! A car is a tool to me, not a point of pride. No dog hair on the seats because the dog goes in the boot, but the boot is filthy and the floors in the seat wells are always muddy. We walk a lot and live in rainy Cumbria. I don't care about it being muddy. If anyone dislikes it they can choose not to have a lift in my car!

I don't give my car to give someone a lift somewhere.

If the person getting the lift doesn't like it, then they don't have to accept the lift.

I have an overly-clean DH and while being somewhat "creative" myself. His car is frequently cleaned and very shiny; mine looks like what it is - a rural 4x4 that often has to drive through muddy fields with a big GSD in the dog cage at the back. We also have several children so while the dog is confined to the boot, the rest of the car has water-bottles, packets, mud, wellies, books and anything else they've left around strewn in all places. I skip it out about once a week before DH can see how truly awful it's become, and he has it properly cleaned when he can no longer bear it. If I give people lifts they have to accept it as it is.