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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think people are being unreasonable to complain about dirty cars, dog hair in our car?

54 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:29

DH has a a work mate he gave a ride a few times. We have dogs, we regularly vacuum the car but sometimes there is dog hair in the car. Yesterday dh complained he had to vacuum the car again because he was giving him a ride today. The car was not really dirty inside, just a few dog hairs. I had vacuumed it just two days before.
I thought it was over the top because, we have four children, dogs and one cannot expect everything to be immaculate. How do you think?
AIBU to think other people are BU to expect this?

How often do you go to the car wash?

OP posts:

Josefine59 · 29/01/2018 10:32

It depends really.
Is it a case of, your Dh is a bit house proud (car proud?) and doesn't want to be seen as dirty? Then he is being U but it's his problem and not something I'd do anything about. Just enjoy having a clean car!

Has his friend turned his nose up/made comments about it? In which case friend is being U and Dh should let the dickhead get the bus.

Zintox · 29/01/2018 10:34

Tell the friend to bring a blanket to sit on. It’s not unreasonable not to want to be covered in pet hair but it’s not your responsibility to prevent it either.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 29/01/2018 10:36

Your DH hasn't said his need to hoover was in response to complaints from the guy he's giving a lift to? Maybe he just feels embarrassed at having a slovenly car when his colleagues are going to see it.

MsHomeSlice · 29/01/2018 10:37

if I give lifts then I'll say which car...it used to be a fiat seicento, where the usual back seat passenger was a mahooosive hairy GSD, then it's up to the person wanting a lift to decide if they would prefer a small hairy but convenient car ride or a slow, unhairy and probably inconvenient bus trip.

tell your dh's friend to stop being an ungrateful wanker!

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:38

Yep, he is house/car proud. Very much so. The workmate. No idea. I have never talked to him but dh mentioned he said something about dog hair.
Why is is my problem? Dh did not have breakfast with his family this day (he has insomnia and I let him sleep in), did not have lunch with us that day because he was helping a friend who renovates his house and when we had dinner he got up and complained he had to vacuum the car while there was still light outside. He ate later, but the children where already asleep then.
I thought it was sad for the children, because they see very little of him.

OP posts:

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:39

Dh works a lot (60 plus hours a week), often is away for the weekend for a job and I want our children to see more of him.

OP posts:

alotalotalot · 29/01/2018 10:42

It sounds as if you have a dh problem, rather the mate being the problem - unless of course the mate was being critical rather than just commenting generally.

theclockticksslowly · 29/01/2018 10:46

Would he be happy with just getting a cheap cover (or even just a blanket) for the passenger seat that he could put on when giving lifts? Still vacuum once a week or whatever to stop it getting too messy but would be enough to stop dog hairs getting on the passenger?

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:47

Dh used to serve in the military and actually the old stereotype is true. He cleans everything that does not move... and well I told him already I do think he is expecting to much. As I said we have four children and dogs.
Dh otoh hand thinks I am dirty.

So my question for all the other civvies out there: How often do you clean your car, how often do you use the car wash?

OP posts:

theclockticksslowly · 29/01/2018 10:48

MagicWillHappen · 29/01/2018 10:53

AIBU to think other people are BU to expect this?

It depends - if your dh 'has' to give a lift to a colleague (like in a car share agreement for e.g.) I think it's unfair to ask someone to sit on a seat covered in pet hair. In other scenarios the person can obviously choose but should still be warned if the car is likely to make them dirty/hairy.

I'm far from perfect in car-cleanliness as it's constantly full of mud splattered boys. But dogs being allowed to jump all over seats is gross IMO and a real bugbear of mine...it's not just hair, it's slobber and possible wee/poo too. Bleughh.

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:53

That sounds like a great idea. Just wanted to make sure I was not being dirty.

OP posts:

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 10:54

No, it is not a car share agreement. Dh is just being nice by giving him a ride.

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MagicWillHappen · 29/01/2018 11:00

Re car cleaning - about once a week we have a 'de-clutter' (football gloves shoved in the door, coats/jackets/wellies that have accumulated, any bits of rubbish, change etc) so the car is empty again.

Cleaning - we've learnt the benefit of our local car wash place. For £12 they wash the outside AND give the inside a thorough hoover...they have about 5 blokes on it at once and it takes minutes and to a better standard than we could as they have the big industrial Hoover. We'll then give all the hard bits a go over with polish, 5 mins.

About once a year we have a 'proper' valet which includes all the seats and carpets washed/shampooed and costs £50.

MagicWillHappen · 29/01/2018 11:01

Sorry...for the £12 hoover I'd say once every 6 weeks maybe.

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 11:01

MagicWillHappen We fold the seats when we transport the dogs but there will be still some hair.

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Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 11:02

Thanks for sharing, my last answer was re your post at 10:53:27. Sorry I am a slow typer.

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Mummyoflittledragon · 29/01/2018 11:03

My car is not terribly clean inside. I have a dog. No rubbish in the car though. If I were offering lifts to someone suited and booted in an industry, where appearance is very important, it could be an issue in the back. Not really the front so much though. It sounds like your dh loves things spic and span. My retired neighbour cleans his car most days in the summer months. Each to their own perhaps? But your dh is unreasonable to complain to you. There again don’t we all complain about stuff?

scaryteacher · 29/01/2018 11:03

Confusedwife Could we swap? Mine is retired military, but does not clean everything that moves. His car goes to the carwash and is cleaned inside once a month perhaps? Mine far less.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 29/01/2018 11:06

The workmate probably doesn't want dog hair all over his clothes, dog hairs get everywhere on clothes,

ShastaTrinity · 29/01/2018 11:07

it's not just hair, it's slobber and possible wee/poo too.

It's quite rare that a dog wees or poos on a car seat
I put picnic type blankets for the dogs, even if they are covered in mud I just take them off and hang them so the car doesn't smell. I do wash them obviously sometimes but I don't leave them in the car between wash.

My car gets car wash around once a month, but we don't leave anything in it, so it doesn't get messy as such, it just get dirty and muddy.

onalongsabbatical · 29/01/2018 11:07

Dh works a lot (60 plus hours a week), often is away for the weekend for a job and I want our children to see more of him.
And yet you are posting about car cleaning, and trying to blame a colleague, rather than look at the state of your relationship?

BeyondThePage · 29/01/2018 11:10

Ours gets cleaned once a year at service time - they do a valet clean inside and out as part of the service cost.

We use a blanket on the seat if the dog is in there (in his harness), and the car is not that messy since we are suburban dwellers with a garage to keep the car in.

Original poster

ConfusedWife1234 · 29/01/2018 11:11

Onalongsabbatical It is the nature of his job. He cannot really choose if he wants to work long Hours or be away for the weekend... and he earns our living from that.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 29/01/2018 11:12

Obviously this isn’t about cars, but I begged some seat covers from our friendly mechanic and put one on if i’m giving a lift to anyone dressed in non dog/horse/beach/hay appropriate clothes.

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