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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Talk me down, I want to hire a hitman!

61 replies

SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:02

I've NC for this, as it is definitely outing.

The ex drops the DC off with me this afternoon - DD2's broken arm in a brace and sling after a trip to A&E. She broke her arm during gymnastics on Friday evening, and he waited two whole days to tell me. Two days!!! His bloody girlfriend knew before I did.

I am fucking fuming, and the more I think about it the angrier I'm getting. I mean, he's a complete and total arsehole, but this is a new low, even for him.

Innovative ideas on how to get revenge welcome, and if I'm BU, please feel free to tell me, I can do with fuel for my anger Wink. Also any cheeky fucker things your exes have done, so I don't feel so alone.

OP posts:
mapmybum · 28/01/2018 23:04

How old is she? What a nightmare

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:12

She's 9. And in a lot of pain.

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 28/01/2018 23:13

Wow!! That's really out of order. I would be livid.

BrainSaysNo · 28/01/2018 23:13

First rule of hiring a hit man, don't mention it on Mumsnet Grin
Hope your daughter is feeling better soon!

BulletFox · 28/01/2018 23:16

What's the going rate?

Aw hope dd's arm heals well

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:17

First rule of hiring a hit man, don't mention it on Mumsnet

It was just a joke 😉😉😉

OP posts:
MrsJasonIsbell · 28/01/2018 23:17

I would have been raging too! His not telling you was malicious/unkind to both you and your DD.

Out of curiosity, would you have told him immediately? I would probably text DD's Dad but might well call my Mum first.

petbear · 28/01/2018 23:18

Your thread title is not going to be popular OP.

JaneEyre70 · 28/01/2018 23:18

I can only say that at least you've not had to worry about it all weekend, but he was very wrong not to inform you that your DD was in hospital receiving treatment. Is there some way you can legally make sure this doesn't happen again? And shouldn't the gymnastics club/school have informed you too............??

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:20

I would've gotten her to A&E and phone/text him from there. It's his right as a parent to know. One thing I would not bloody do is tell my boyfriend the next morning, and then wait two days to tell him! grrrr

OP posts:
Rainbowsandflowers78 · 28/01/2018 23:20

I think give your dd a phone so she can call you directly and you can text to check up on her

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 28/01/2018 23:21

Are you sure it happened at gymnastics?

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:23

And shouldn't the gymnastics club/school have informed you too............??

It's a night gymnastics class that he takes them to, I'm not even sure exactly where it is. As far as I know they don't have my contact details. It's something he's started taking them to to try and show me up because I can't afford it :-(.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:26

Are you sure it happened at gymnastics? - yes Rainbows - her twin sister saw it happen.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 28/01/2018 23:28

Oh that’s horrible of him. Do you have a legal agreement with him regarding children eg maintanence and visitation etc? If so I would r contacting the lawyer to ask to include contacting in emergency situations and even other ill health scenarios.
I bet if she had started vomiting everywhere he would have been quick to call you... 🤔
I hope she is in less pain soon, poor girl.
Whilst the gymnastics club wouldn’t have even considered calling you as her dad picked her up- you could mention it to them to keep on file that as you are separated he doesn’t always keep you informed so could they note that and keep you informed if anything happened again? Same with the school.
Yanbu at all to hire a hitman. In fact I’m sure we wronged wives (ex wives) could just do freebies for each other and kill all the bastards off! Do the world (and our kids) a favour!

Wolfiefan · 28/01/2018 23:30

You should have been informed. Why do you think you weren't? Would you have turned up at A and E demanding to know
What happened?

PickAChew · 28/01/2018 23:31

If he has decking, hire someone to paint yoghurt on it. No one would ever suspect.

timeisnotaline · 28/01/2018 23:34

Are you rp? I’d investigate a solicitors letter warning contact was dependent on reasonable parenting behaviour. If this kind of thing happens a few times seems reaspnable grounds for a court order on communication (or withholding contact and he can make the go to court effort idnit wouldn’t be detrimental to your dd) your poor dd.

Maybe83 · 28/01/2018 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocolateDoll · 28/01/2018 23:39

See, now this kind of thing is exactly why I choose not to leave dh.

I have no doubt at all that this is the kind of behaviour I would have to expect from him.

And so I stay....”until the kids are older”......

OP - YANBU. You seem to be showing incredible restraint. The thought that I had just carried on my weekend regardless whilst my dd was going through that would make me feel sick.

Angry on your and dd’s behalf.

Maybe83 · 28/01/2018 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:41

We have no formal arrangement regarding contact - just between us. He has the DDs most weekends.

Wolfie - he didn't inform me because he's a narcissist who is upset because I have a new man in my life (as from last weekend). And he's also just a bastard in general.

Pick no decking unfortunately. But... he does have a very large upstairs bathroom window with a big crack in it...

OP posts:
FredaNerkk · 28/01/2018 23:43

As DD2's mother you have parental responsibility so he should have contacted you about the medical decisions on Friday night.
childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/parental-responsibility/

Is DD2 old enough to charge and use a phone so she can contact you without relying on her father?

Rachie1973 · 28/01/2018 23:46

What a prize twat! I'm all for 'his time, his choices' but to not tell you about something so serious is just gold medal wankface levels.

You have my sympathy, and I can lend you a baseball bat if you want?

Chocolatesprinkledcrumpet · 28/01/2018 23:48

This reply has been deleted

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