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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Talk me down, I want to hire a hitman!

61 replies

SoFuckingFurious · 28/01/2018 23:02

I've NC for this, as it is definitely outing.

The ex drops the DC off with me this afternoon - DD2's broken arm in a brace and sling after a trip to A&E. She broke her arm during gymnastics on Friday evening, and he waited two whole days to tell me. Two days!!! His bloody girlfriend knew before I did.

I am fucking fuming, and the more I think about it the angrier I'm getting. I mean, he's a complete and total arsehole, but this is a new low, even for him.

Innovative ideas on how to get revenge welcome, and if I'm BU, please feel free to tell me, I can do with fuel for my anger Wink. Also any cheeky fucker things your exes have done, so I don't feel so alone.

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 28/01/2018 23:49

Fuck the joke & hire the hit man.

SpareASquare · 28/01/2018 23:51

Clearly I am in the minority big time but I'm not really understanding the level of angst. What exactly is the issue? He seems to have taken her promptly.
Child had an injury, parent sorted it out. What would you knowing that it happened have changed? Should he have not done what he did?
Yeah, a phone call would probably have been nice but I am struggling to see why it is such a massive deal.

AtSea1979 · 28/01/2018 23:56

Yogurt and decking? Confused

AnnieAnoniMouse · 29/01/2018 00:00

I’m available & definitely in the mood!

Viviennemary · 29/01/2018 00:01

And neither of your twins thought to contact you. Perhaps they were frightened the hitman might be around. Hmm

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 29/01/2018 00:01

@Chocolatesprinkledcrumpet - Wow, just wow. I've been on here donkey's years, I am no troll. Everyone who knows me and sees DTD2 at school tomorrow will know I posted this, therefore the NC. So what you're saying is everyone who has twins, and also an arsehole ex with a new girlfriend has to be a troll? And my new man wasn't a drip feed, as it has nothing really to do the the OP. Hunt trolls elsewhere please.

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 29/01/2018 00:01

Maybe the yogurt is meant to make the decking slippery?

tillytrotter1 · 29/01/2018 00:03

Had she had an accident under your care, would you have phoned him or do you consider that as a mother you are the superior parent? He should have phoned you once they were back from hospital but I doubt that you keep him informed of all the incidents in her life. Hope she's feeling better, her school friends will be so jealous of her pot!

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 29/01/2018 00:04

And neither of your twins thought to contact you - apparently it was around 2am Saturday morning when they left A&E. Their dad would not have allowed them to call me as he would've seen it as a waste of a phone call and money. Sadly that's what he's like.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 29/01/2018 00:09

You’ve done nothin wrong and you didn’t even dripfeed. (For what it’s worth I reported her report as troll hunting isn’t allowed- even crappy troll hunting!)

I would be considering a mobile for emergency use for them in future. And definitely getting some legal advice for an agreement to be put in place.
You shouldnt have to do that, he should be a decent human. But shame, he clearly isn’t.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 29/01/2018 00:10

If they weren’t allowed to call me anytime they wanted to, he wouldn’t be having ANY contact with them, let alone ‘most weekends’. Are you ok with him having them ‘most weekends?’.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/01/2018 00:12

I have an ex who would do this and if anyone asked him would imply that I didnt give a shit because I didnt go to the hospital. He certainly wouldnt admit that he hadnt told me.

I believe the OP

greenlanes · 29/01/2018 00:25

Parental responsibility is very clear in law as to what rights you have as a parent. I hate using the rights word but it is correct here.

The difficulty is that most professionals dont seem to understand those rights. My DC has been treated by a "medical" professional without my knowledge or my consent. I made it clear that this was never to happen again and they had the bloody cheek to push back. There doesnt seem to be sufficient sanction here.

I have raised it in family court and the judge couldnt give a shit. The fact that one parent wont communicate when it is crystal clear that both parties should be involved is a strong indicator of big issues. And repetitive behaviour in this respect from one parent should be sanctioned. But it isnt.

I hope your DD starts to feel better soon.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/01/2018 00:26

I want to know about the decking as well.

Op what would you have done if rung at say midnight ish

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/01/2018 00:28

One parent with PR is enough to consent to medical treatment and there is no actual requirement to obtain the others consent.

It’s part and parcel of the whole day to day life thing.

If we didn’t have that ability lone parents with deadbeat ex’s would be fucked.

Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 29/01/2018 00:29

Op what would you have done if rung at say midnight ish.

I would probably not have stormed over there, except if DD wanted me there. But I did have a right to know, and to let her know I was there for her at least. I was denied the chance to comfort my DD when she was in a lot of pain, and that's not fair :-(.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoFuckingFurious · 29/01/2018 00:30

One parent with PR is enough - actually, as we were never married, he doesn't actually have PR, according to a PP.

OP posts:
LolitaLempicka · 29/01/2018 00:37

If he is named on the birth certificate he does have PR, it was different before 2003, but you say your dts are 9.

WeeWillieWinky · 29/01/2018 00:37

Disgusting that he didn't let you know, I would be furious as well.
Btw leave it to Karma! 😉

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/01/2018 00:44

Is he not named on the BC then? If that’s the case then if he was asked (which my local hospital does with anyone rocking up with a kid) if he had it he should have said no and they should have called you.

FWIW I think it’s prize wankerish behaviour PR or not unless you had form for dramatic nonsense and ridiculous attention seeking FB posts all whilst mostly ignoring your kids existence but that’s unlikely given they live with you most of the time

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 29/01/2018 00:49

People just love to shout troll and announce they have reported..it's honestly more pathetic and irritating than trolls.

Op, I hope she's okay. You definitely should of been informed just becasue you aren't together it doesn't mean you can't both of been at hospital with her if she wanted you there.

ConfusedButInLove · 29/01/2018 01:08

The hospital is really in the wrong for not contacting you Shock
He may have said he would tell you but they still should have also called.

halfwitpicker · 29/01/2018 01:26

Another one needs the yogurt decking explained please. To make it slippy? To make it stink? To give it a hipster edge?

lalalalyra · 29/01/2018 01:42

The hospital is really in the wrong for not contacting you shock

A hospital doesn't need to contact the mother of a father brings a child in. Why would they? There's no superiority in PR.

I'd be pissed off in your shoes as well OP. He should have let you know.

drinkswineoutofamug · 29/01/2018 01:45

I have just wasted 10 mins of my life googling yogurt on decking
Does it grow mushrooms? No.
But you can grow mushrooms in a yogurt pot with coffee grounds.
Does it rot wood . No.
Fuck knows