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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just opened our credit card statement

445 replies

Mooycow · 27/01/2018 23:48

And am so shocked , it’s over 25.000, ! My husband deals with all the bills ( I do everything else) ,he gets online billing and tears up the statement when it arrives , we have together spent the money ,it’s all way too easy ,obs, AIBU to be shocked that we owe that amount .

OP posts:
LightastheBreeze · 28/01/2018 12:27

Oh thats good Mooycow, it sounds like you were treating yourselves to maybe a few too many luxuries like the blinds. Good to get a plan in place and then enjoy your retirement.

TalkinPeace · 28/01/2018 12:28

Putyourdamnshoeson
that simple eh
TBH - having been on debt threads for many years - it often is.
If the excess spending was on stupid fripperies (electric blinds most definitely are)
then stopping them completely is not hard
and allows the debt to be whumped PDQ

On the debt threads we have had people who discovered they did NOT need new handbags regularly suddenly able to sort their debt for example

Putyourdamnshoeson · 28/01/2018 12:31

Thanks talkinpeace I'm naive. I didn't know people needed this explaining to them.
Have we all lost sight so much of what we need in life?

kalapattar · 28/01/2018 12:31

On the debt threads we have had people who discovered they did NOT need new handbags regularly suddenly able to sort their debt for example

Imagine if everyone stopped doing that - the world economy would grind to a halt.

(slightly lighthearted - but ground very much in a reality of debt keeping capitalism going)

Putyourdamnshoeson · 28/01/2018 12:34

Well yeah, I did already know that capitalism is awful (obvs) and teetering on the edge of collapse.
I wish it would. Perhaps then we'd focus on what was important whilst surviving on crusts of bread

stevie69 · 28/01/2018 12:39

By definition, if it's a debt, you CAN'T afford it

That's absolute rubbish. You're not an accountant, are you? Shock

TalkinPeace · 28/01/2018 12:39

putyourdamn
I didn't know people needed this explaining to them.
Have we all lost sight so much of what we need in life?
GrinWink
Scary isn't it.
Seriously, its only because I hide behind a user name I do not actually scream at some people.
Need and want have been utterly tangled and distorted.
People do not NEED Costa/Starbucks every day. They do not NEED multiple coats and handbags. They do not NEED subscription TV and expensive phones. They do not NEED holidays and cleaners and school fees.
But the shock when it dawns on them that life goes on without such is interesting .....

Popsythe1st · 28/01/2018 12:45

Apply for an interest free balance transfer credit card. Money saving expert web site has some links. Then don't use it at all but pay off the balance every month. Some now have 38 month interest free deals. Worth a look.

lougle · 28/01/2018 12:59

Some people do need to adjust their priorities in increments.

It's why Martin Lewis does the 'brand downshift' challenge. It works. He doesn't say 'oi you wasters, get with the value stuff right now!' He says 'just choose three products, down shift the quality by one stage. So if you get the uber amazing 'feel the luxury of this sauce as it slithers down your throat and coats your tonsils' brand, get the 'this sauce is so refined you'll think it's like a silky river' brand instead'. On the other hand, if you get 'this sauce is a bit lumpy, but it's ok' try 'we didn't have time to blitz it much, but there shouldn't be any stones'.

Gradually, people move their goalposts, and they realise that they don't need colour-match shoes for every outfit, then they realise that they can wear the same outfit twice, etc.

ShastaTrinity · 28/01/2018 13:08

By definition, if it's a debt, you CAN'T afford it
That's absolute rubbish. You're not an accountant, are you?

No, I am not, and the one I use cost me a bloody fortune Grin
My comment was more than a bit simplistic, I agree, but in the context of the thread, I stand by it. I can't think of many examples when not paying the full amount due on your credit card every month is a way to make money. No one was talking about running a business here.

TalkinPeace · 28/01/2018 13:13

Shasta
I AM an accountant.
A debt is money that you can afford over time, just not all at once.
It should only be for something tangible that you will still have at the end of the repayment term - eg a house or a car.

Sadly banks make the vast bulk of their money out of lending to those who can never afford to repay in full
and youngsters are starting live with unrepayable student debt
so debt has become normalised.

Borrowing is fine.
Borrowing because you are buying crap is not.
Borrowing to make basic ends meet is a very serious issue
that is not for this thread as its clear that the OP just needed to get a grip of her spending Smile

ShastaTrinity · 28/01/2018 13:15

hey do not NEED holidays and cleaners and school fees.

completely agree if you can't afford them.
If you can, life would be pretty grim if we were only surviving, and parents do have a huge responsibility to give a proper education to the children they chose to have. Only if you can afford it however.

I would love to be debt free like the poster who saved before buying their home, but I would need a hell of a bigger income to raise enough cash to buy a house in the South East upfront. Some debts are not really avoidable.

TalkinPeace · 28/01/2018 13:16

My kids have had a good education without school fees - and I think I'm a responsible parent Wink

ShastaTrinity · 28/01/2018 13:21

My own kids go to state schools, but living in the area of excellent schools, paying for all the extras etc.. still doesn't come cheap! And they are not old enough for university YET.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 28/01/2018 13:21

shasta I don't think that anyone is saying don't have a mortgage, but we cant afford a foreign holiday, so we camp in Cornwall. We make the best of what we can afford. We have friends who go all inclusive to Greece at £6k a year, that's their minimum. They moan all year about having to pay it off and when he was suspended pending an investigation at work, it became very clear just how precarious their situation is.
But they're back at it now. I wouldn't mind, but they belittle us and their other friends and keep going on about life being too short.
I simply wouldn't enjoy living in fear.

ShastaTrinity · 28/01/2018 13:26

Sorry, I do agree, and the only debt I have is a mortgage despite using my credit cards all the time.

I wouldn't even borrow money to buy my car in case it gets written off before it's paid off.

I just don't think people who think they can "afford a debt" in the context of this thread are thinking about the big picture.

It sounds like the OP will get her finance in order, good for her!

kalapattar · 28/01/2018 13:32

A debt is money that you can afford over time, just not all at once

Depends on how much you want to give in interest to the banks and how much interest you feel comfortable paying.

If the OP can afford to keep her spending low, I would advise them to try and shift the debt to lower / zero credit card rates and to pay off as much as they can afford per month. That means their overall money they pay back will be even less.

And not waste their money on frivolous items.

Motoko · 28/01/2018 13:42

OP so what was your solution to paying it off? Your posts are scant in information.

GinandGingerBeer · 28/01/2018 13:47

I’ve just downloaded the spreadsheet on the the google app, but as I was looking at it, cells were being filled in by someone else?

I’m a bit of a spreadsheet imbecile, never really used them.

Tinkerbec · 28/01/2018 13:51

Do all these people , who are gibbering wrecks with debt , have a mortgage?

But thats an ok debt right? Pay in interest a third if not more of the value of your house over the 25 years. But thats ok!
( I know others have shorter terms and remortgages)
It just seems a lot of double standards.

Op read some of the diaries on Debt Free wannabe on MSE. One woman is coming down from £67k of debt after light bulb moment.
This would turn some of the posters on here to stone.

Do an SOA and see where all if your money goes. Lots of help available you CAN fo it yourself as others have proved.

SandyDenny · 28/01/2018 13:51

You are either very naive and silly for a person approaching retirement age or your DH is lying to you about the family finances.

How could you not have realised that your incomes couldn't possibly be supporting your lifestyle. Tbh I don't have much symapthy for you.

TalkinPeace · 28/01/2018 13:52

@ginandginger - its been broken : I'm trying to mend it.

motoko
She's going to do the standing order trick which will clear the debt.

SandyDenny · 28/01/2018 13:55

Do all these people , who are gibbering wrecks with debt , have a mortgage?

That's completely different, a mortgage can be repaid by selling the house, credit card debt has no security although of course in extreme circumstances you could downsize your house to get out of expensive credit card debt

kalapattar · 28/01/2018 13:55

She's going to do the standing order trick which will clear the debt

It's not really a trick. It's just like paying off a loan with a fixed affordable amount per month at an interest rate of 18% or whatever.

brownelephant · 28/01/2018 13:56

Do all these people , who are gibbering wrecks with debt , have a mortgage?

But thats an ok debt right? Pay in interest a third if not more of the value of your house over the 25 years. But thats ok!

compared to renting (in most cases) buying a house can be the better long term deal despite paying a lot of money for borrowing.