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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask why little girls seem to be preferred?

552 replies

foxtaildream · 27/01/2018 18:27

Is it just me who has noticed this?

OP posts:
Fishbiscuits · 29/01/2018 21:15

Most couples I know with one of each the DH takes the boy to football while DD goes shopping with mum. If it's only DD's then Dad is probably pretty lonely in many cases.

My girls go to the football with their dad

BakedBeans47 · 29/01/2018 21:41

However the hypothesis is not "girls are horrible", rather it is that a women who has girls subconsciously knows she will have someone in her life to care about her and look after her (the daughters) so is more likely to have the courage to leave an unsatisfactory relationship. A women with all boys feels the burden of taking care of all of them, with no one to take care of her - so is more likely to stay in a bad relationship so as not to be completely overworked and alone.

That sounds like complete tosh. Who dreamt that up?

NataliaOsipova · 29/01/2018 22:19

If it's only DD's then Dad is probably pretty lonely in many cases

In our house, it's more that he'd like a break from the hero worship than he'd get lonely! You know that bit at the end of The Railway Children? ("Daddy, my Daddy"). It's like that in our house every night.....Grin

m0therofdragons · 29/01/2018 23:08

Most couples I know with one of each the DH takes the boy to football while DD goes shopping with mum. If it's only DD's then Dad is probably pretty lonely in many cases.

Really? Db was a total mummy's boy and I was the dd going to the football with df who I hero worshipped.

Thursdaydreaming · 29/01/2018 23:09

Are men leaving because they don’t spend time with their children and is that exacerbated if they are girls?

I doubt it - normally dads aren't upset about not spending time with children, in fact they prefer it and avoid childcare.

BeaLola · 29/01/2018 23:32

I adopted a DS who was an only. We didn't mind boy or girl just wanted the right fit for us as a family.

TBH though having gone through all the adoption meetings prep group etc I anticipated we would be matched with a boy because we didn't mind and so many people did. In fact at our intro session run by the council before we started our journey I vividly remember a speaker saying "please think about having a boy - they're lovely too." Over half our group had a girl preference.

When we were matched with our DS I had about a minute of I'm never going to be a mummy to a girl - I think this had a lot to do with being close to my own DM who sadly had died.

My DS is amazingly wonderful, awesome, quirky, beautiful, and I'm so lucky to be his Mummy - nobody else would do ever ! He is just fab and life without him would be unimaginable.

Slanetylor · 29/01/2018 23:36

In America it IS a thing to have gender selection for a girl if there's autism in the family. As if girls can't have autism!!! Shock

HappyLollipop · 29/01/2018 23:43

I understand the preference for a girl but for me it's only on a superficial level, I would have loved to have a girl to put in pretty outfits everyday the range for girls clothes is much larger than the boys section but that's about as far as it goes for me, I was overjoyed when I found out I was having my DS as I've always wanted a son as my first born so any other kids I may have will always have a big brother. I think the 'perfect' family consists of one boy and one girl, my mum had just us girls and as much as she loves us she always wanted a boy so she's spoiling my DS!

Chienrouge · 30/01/2018 07:29

I think the 'perfect' family consists of one boy and one girl

Not my ‘perfect’ family thanks. Speak for yourself.

AlexanderHamilton · 30/01/2018 07:33

I noticed at junior school that the girls were given far more understanding & consideration than the boys from the teachers. often receiving much milder punishments or even none at all for minor misdemeanours.

Dd got away with far more than Ds ever did.

AlexanderHamilton · 30/01/2018 07:36

But in terms of loOking after us in our old age we are going to have to rely on Ds as Dd will be well away! He's a home bird, she isn't.

breadhead · 30/01/2018 07:39

I have 3 boys and love it. But then I haven't got a great relationship with my mum...

Youvegotafriendinme · 30/01/2018 07:47

I do see what you mean. When my DSis found out she was pregnant she was so set on a girl, I worried for the child if it had been a boy. Thankfully she’s having a girl but all my family would have rather she was having a girl too. I have a DS and wouldn’t change him for the world. I hear a lot of people at groups say ‘typical boy, girls are much easier’ etc. Sad really

Fekko · 30/01/2018 07:55

I think theres nothing sweeter than a little boy!

petbear · 30/01/2018 08:20

@CPTart

pet I get where you're coming from with the "protest too much" argument, but bear in mind as thrilled you are with your girls, statistics say your DH would have secretly preferred a son. However much he loves his girls, he's disappointed he never got that sonbut would unlikely admit it

Load of shit. Nice try though hun. Grin

You can spout made-up 'statistics' as much as you like, my husband wanted girls as badly as I did, and never had any interest in little boys. Unlike certain cultures across the world, many men in the UK long for a daughter, more than a son. Sure, they will love their sons, but there will always be that secret longing for a daughter.......

And to put it bluntly, many boys he has encountered have been hard work. They have had behavioural problems, or issues at school with their learning as they are often way behind academically than girls, or they don't get on with their siblings, or they are just not particularly endearing children... My husband just plain and simple is not keen on boys.......... sorry to blow your made up theory out of the water.

In addition, brothers are way less likely to get on than sisters. I can count on the fingers of one hand, the amount of brothers I know who get on, and many are estranged from each other. Usually coz they are very competitive, and get jealous of each other, and their parents usually have a favourite when it comes to boys...... You don't get that happening with girls.

Also, the parents I know (who have boys only,) have actually had much worse problems in their marriage than those with girls. Couples with girls - at least one anyway - seem much more content than those with boys.

I reckon that the couples with boys are unhappy because the woman is upset and angry that her husband could not give her the daughter she so desperately wanted, After all, the gender of the child IS down the the man. Wink

I have seen and heard stories in the past (on tv and in magazines,) where women are very angry and bitter that their man could not give them a daughter. Oh yeah, and he wanted one too by the way, and felt as upset as she did, that his sperm wasn't producing a daughter...

Keep trying to convince yourself that boys are better though, and keep spouting this'families are more likely to fail' bollocks. Doesn't make it true. Everyone knows that most people (women and men) desire a daughter, especially those (LIKE YOU) who are denying it. Grin

I am off to meet my 2 daughters for coffee at lunchtime.. As I do every week. Smile Again, another thing you don't get with boys. Bet people with boys can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times they have been for a coffee with their adults sons.....

YEP, you can keep your boys, AND your made up theories that men secretly want a boy. Maybe in certain cultures, but not ours.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 30/01/2018 08:23

Good god pet

Youre not half making up a load of rubbish yourself

AccrualIntentions · 30/01/2018 08:32

Christ there's some shite being put about on this thread Hmm

petbear · 30/01/2018 08:44

Not rubbish! I am speaking FACTS my dear - FACTS. PEOPLE PREFER GIRLS TO BOYS. (Both men AND women!) Do deny them if it makes you feel better.

There have also been studies in the past that show that if the woman is stronger and more dominant than her man, that she will have a boy, so this must make men feel a bit embarrassed if he is only giving her boys.

This is an article from some years ago, but the facts still stand....
www.independent.co.uk/news/strong-woman-chances-are-youll-have-a-boy-1136674.html

Come ON, you lot on here cannot deny it, people in the western world prefer daughters. That is what the whole thread is about FFS!

Other cultures only prefer boys coz they class men as superior to women ... Gimme daughters any day!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 30/01/2018 08:46

Not rubbish! I am speaking FACTS my dear - FACTS. PEOPLE PREFER GIRLS TO BOYS.

Yelling FACTS doesnt make you right Grin

Some people prefer boys some people prefer girls and some people honestly dont mind

I think thats a FACT

NataliaOsipova · 30/01/2018 08:49

I think the 'perfect' family consists of one boy and one girl

Really? Yours maybe. Definitely not mine!

Chienrouge · 30/01/2018 08:57

You can spout made-up 'statistics' as much as you like, my husband wanted girls as badly as I did, and never had any interest in little boys

Why did you risk having children then, when there was a 50% chance of having a boy, who you would have had no interest in (by your own admission)?

I have two girls. DH and I are happy with our two girls. We would have been equally as happy with two boys, or one of each. We’re thinking of a third, and will be happy if it’s a girl or a boy.

Gladiola44 · 30/01/2018 09:03

Yes I absolutely wanted a girl. I didn’t mind having one boy, but I DID NOT want two boys. Couldn’t think of anything more dreadful. Thankfully that never happened!

MargaretCavendish · 30/01/2018 09:10

I didn’t mind having one boy, but I DID NOT want two boys. Couldn’t think of anything more dreadful.

Yeah, this is why it's hard not to see gender disappointment as the spoiled whining of the very lucky. Women who have been through infertility, miscarriages, and stillbirth can think of a lot of things worse than two healthy little boys.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 30/01/2018 09:18

You know that bit at the end of The Railway Children? ("Daddy, my Daddy"). It's like that in our house every night.....

That made me smile so much! One of about three times I have seen my dad cry was when watching the Railway Children - he was holding my hand so hard!

But I am a total daddy's girl and now have my own ds who is a total mummy's boy! Maybe why I am a little less excited about dd (due in a couple of week).... ds is very much mine whereas I think maybe dd will be more dh's.

Shutupanddance1 · 30/01/2018 09:21

@petbear what shite you are spouting Grin

I have one DD and I’m pregnant with our second DD. When they told us it was another girl, I would say me and DH were disappointed for probably about 10 seconds as we understand that this is our last pregnancy and it means we will never have boys. Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to have a second DD, can imagine all sorts of stuff we will get up to as a family of 4 but yeah, I think your chatting rubbish

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