To ask why little girls seem to be preferred?

[foxtaildream]

Is it just me who has noticed this?

I've got both boys and girls, but yes, I have encountered people expressing a preference for girls in the UK and the US - not in other countries.

There was some statistic I saw a few years ago, that people who have girls first tend to stop at two, whereas people who have boys tend to push on to a second/third child, and the research claimed that was to 'to get a girl as well.'

I think it is real - I've heard it with my own ears, but I dislike it intensely. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something very uncomfortable about this so-called preference for girls, when, once they are women, society then doesn't treat them equally.

I'm tired and not explaining it well, but anyway .

*It is a thing, and that’s because little girls are just lovely!
I’m sorry. They are.
I have 4DCs of both genders and they are/have been and surely will be, wonderful at different stages but there is something breathtakingly, joyously special about little girls.

Perhaps it’s warped societal focus on youth and fertility or maybe it’s the mitochondrial DNA attracting our love and protection but there’s definitely something in it*

Is this serious? Do you know what mitochondrial DNA is/does?

unless your asian.....

pet I get where you're coming from with the "protest too much" argument, but bear in mind as thrilled you are with your girls, statistics say your DH would have secretly preferred a son. However much he loves his girls, he's disappointed he never got that sonbut would unlikely admit it
That's why families with at least one boy are more likely to stay together. Numerous studies show men are far more likely to leave the family unit if his offspring are solely female. A male forum discussing gender disappointment would have an opposing slant.
Always exceptions of course.

I came from a family of girls. My firstborn was a girl, and when I was pregnant with my second I wanted another girl for her sake (To somehow ensure she had what I'd grown up with) In the event she got a lovely brother. I had a strong desire for a third child, and again had a slight preference for a girl so my daughter would have a sister....didn't feel that my son needed a brother because somehow I didn't know about those relationships because my own family was all girls. However I was surprised by the number of people who reacted to news that I was pregnant with a third with "but why have a third when you already have one of each". Third child turned out to be twin girls, so dd1 got her sister (s)...Ironically, she's not desperately close to them and is much closer to her brother (There are small age gaps between each). In fact, all 3 girls are very close to their brother. I think I've learned that you can't recreate something you did/didn't have yourself. No sibling group is the same. I could have had a whole gang of boys who fought endlessly or were very close. My girls have a wonderful brother which is something I didn't have.

I don't know Cpart, I disagree. Statistically, most men may desire a boy, but most doesn't mean all so you can't extrapolate that to poster's individual partners. My DH has said he would prefer 3 girls more than anything.

To say "your husband would have preferred a boy, however much he loves his girls" seems like you're trying to apply it too broadly. You don't know her husband. He may be an exception.

Research has shown that couples with girls split up more. However the hypothesis is not "girls are horrible", rather it is that a women who has girls subconsciously knows she will have someone in her life to care about her and look after her (the daughters) so is more likely to have the courage to leave an unsatisfactory relationship. A women with all boys feels the burden of taking care of all of them, with no one to take care of her - so is more likely to stay in a bad relationship so as not to be completely overworked and alone.

My DH was desperate for a girl, much more so than me. I had a slight preference. I'll let him know he's in denial.

I've one of each and the blue one is my favourite.

Its something i cannot understand. I know of one person who was relieved they miscarried and it turned out to be a boy, another who aborted a boy but would have kept the baby if it had been a girl.
I just find it so so bizarre and think its so damaging to put that much expectation on a baby. I also think its hugely damaging to any existing boy siblings. Its a no win situation.

I think aborting or being pleased you miscarry due to having a boy is absolutely disgusting and not what anybody means when they say they have a preference...

My aunt had 4 boys. She cried when she found out her 4th was a boy as he was going to be her last and she had wanted a little girl. Obvs she still loves him and wants him but surely she can be forgiven a little disappointment.

She cried after the scan a little, just because she knew she'd now never have a daughter. But she loves being the mum of 4 lads now.

I have one child and from the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew I only wanted one. I wanted a boy and that’s what I got. I’ve just always found boys easier to relate to. My early birthday party photos show my guests were all boys. It’s not because boys are better, it’s just that I relate to them more easily. And I’m definitely not longing for grandkids.

I have both boys and girls and my girls are so much more affectionate and they were both absolute dreams as babies. So all the posters saying that boys are easier and more affectionate ....in many cases that is utter rot! But all of them are wonderful in their own individual ways and I wouldn't change them!! I feel sad that so often in these threads people slag off girls in order to defend boys. It's not fair on all the millions of fantastic little girls out there! So just stop it!

I have two boys and one is much more cuddlier, calm and slept better than the other. Because that’s their personality, nothing to do with having a penis.🙄

Research has shown that couples with girls split up more. However the hypothesis is not "girls are horrible", rather it is that a women who has girls subconsciously knows she will have someone in her life to care about her and look after her (the daughters) so is more likely to have the courage to leave an unsatisfactory relationship. A women with all boys feels the burden of taking care of all of them, with no one to take care of her - so is more likely to stay in a bad relationship so as not to be completely overworked and alone.

Do you reckon? My first thought would be that men are more likely to leave because of the sexist split within families. It has to be pretty miserable family life if your Wife and DD's spend time together doing "girly" shit you are excluded from. Most couples I know with one of each the DH takes the boy to football while DD goes shopping with mum. If it's only DD's then Dad is probably pretty lonely in many cases.

Has the study looked at sex of children vs. time spent with each parent?

If it's only DD's then Dad is probably pretty lonely in many cases

Really? I have two DD’s. DH takes them bike riding, swimming, he takes them to ballet on a Saturday morning... he’d probably quite like the chance to be lonely every now and then!

Chein rouge- yes for your family, and mine fwiw.

My point was asking if the research into parents being more likely to split if only dd’s had looked at time spent with the children. Are they more likely to split because those men spend less time with the children? Do those families with both sexes spend unequal time with the children, dad with son and mum with dd?

I you have that girl/boy family dynamic are you less likely to leave because you have a son to spend time with? Are men leaving because they don’t spend time with their children and is that exacerbated if they are girls?

I find this odd too. My mother was very negative about boys and she only had girls. I was almost scared to have them as her and my gran used to drone on about girls being much better. All my friends with only boys used to go on how lucky I was with my 1st 2 DC ( DDs) and they were jealous.

So i was never desperate for a D'S maybe the opposite. But once I had my own D'S I realised how fab they are and my mother and gran also now rave about boys. I would happily have another of either sex.

I don't encourage stereotypes though and my worst nightmare is having a spa day or girly shopping trip. My boys were dressing up and painting their nails for a good few years. However many of the other school mums encourage these gender stereotypes ('thats for boys/girls')especially if they have one of each. So annoying!!

For all the people saying boys don't bother when they're older and older women tend to do the caring, things were different in previous generations but now as many mothers are fathers are working. More grandparents needed for childcare etc. People move more for work etc. Yes women as well as men.

On another note having been through the horrific loss of babies later in pregnancy, I think anyone gutted about having a living baby purely due to genitalia is pretty messed up!

It is a thing, and that’s because little girls are just lovely

Well I've got a girl(who is lovely) but I've met some little girls who were just really awful. It's nothing to do with being a boy or girl, it's to do with parenting.

I was pretty much 50-50 on which I'd have liked (after the usual sentiment of as-long-as-they're-healthy!)
I have a sister and we're very close, but I enjoy male company too and would have loved a houseful of boys just as much. Didn't find out the first time and not finding out with DC2 either, one of the best moments of my life was DH telling me the sex of our baby as she emerged!

It is a thing, and that’s because little girls are just lovely

And I feel sorry for your boys that you seem to prefer your girls. I hope you don’t say such stupid things in real life.

poster callmebriansella Sat 27-Jan-18 18:42:19
Not sure really.
I have one DD and won’t have another in case it’s a boy. I don’t know why. I just don’t want a boy. I’ve had enough of boys.
My DB is 15 and he has autism, it ruined my DSIS and i’s childhood.

Girls can have autism as well, you know

Can't say I ever noticed that tbh