To ask why little girls seem to be preferred?

[foxtaildream]

Is it just me who has noticed this?

Im glad i have a ds and wanted one from the start

There was a definite gender bias towards girls when I had my dc - first a boy . I was with two pals who said how glad they were to have girls - whilst I was pushing my pram with ds in it .
Another friend isn't keen on men as a whole politically and especially now with the me too issue on face book and the media focus on female harassment /make power . It seems that a nice man is an exeption .
I have been told by pals when I'm with my dd ooh I've missed out on all this - but at the same time adore their boys .
I think in general and I mean in general ! Males may be easier to parent due to poss less hormone issues - no pmt etc - dd and I love each other dearly but pmt and menopause together - wow !
Dh has had to intervene at times and d s has said ' now now ladies ' if a little tiff is a brewing !

You get what you get, and you have to get over it obviously.

But I find it funny how on these gender disappointment threads people go on for pages about how there is literally no difference between boys and girls/men and women.

Yet the whole entire rest of the forum is basically dedicated to discussing the differences between men and women and the lack of understanding between the two genders.

On these threads and these threads alone, it's apparently men who are the most caring about family. On the rest of the forum and in real life, it's men who avoid housework, treat women as free maids, take no share of mental load, don't do their share of childcare, don't pay child support, are physically abusive, and in jail.

And before anyone says "it's how they're raised" it isn't - plenty of women are raised with the same parents and don't do these things.

So I'm guessing that's why there is a preference.

And yes it's not all men but most people doing these things are men.

And before anyone says "it's how they're raised" it isn't - plenty of women are raised with the same parents and don't do these things

But can’t you see that parents raise girls and boys differently? Not all parents, obviously, and not on purpose. But it happens. As I said above, when my girls are boisterous people tut and roll their eyes. When boys behave in exactly the same way, people say ‘oh well, boys will be boys’ with an indulgent smile. Boys are expected to be rowdy and energetic and not be able to sit still/concentrate. Girls are expected to sit and colour and play with kitchens and dolls. It’s so ingrained that we don’t even notice it most of the time.

I got comments when I had my second boy. My mother was happy to have a first grandson, but commented what a 'shame' it was that I was having another boy.

When I asked why on earth she thought it was a shame, she said that I'd be surrounded by boisterous boys all the time and would miss out on the pleasure of shopping and doing girly stuff with a daughter when she was older.

I pointed out that I had never enjoyed doing 'girly stuff' or shopping and still don't. We never had that sort of close mother/daughter relationship you see people talking about. So why would she assume a daughter would enjoy that? I'm also sure boys are allowed to enjoy shopping and spending time with their mothers too. When I pointed out her sexist thinking she did concede I was probably right. I suspect she wanted someone to buy frilly dresses for as I disappointed her by being a tomboy, tbh.

Also so many comments about how I was going to have my hands full now with two boys. Bloody frustrating.

But can’t you see that parents raise girls and boys differently?

So it's all parents fault that men don't share the work load and frequently skive off parenting duties? And commit acts of violence and rape? No matter how bad women are raised they rarely act this way. No matter how well men are raised they often do.

I despretly wanted a girl too. I had D's first followed by 3 girls.

@Jaygee61 but you are. I watched that adopting program and they clearly said there was a preference for girls.

I don't know OP, maybe it's quite a Western thing?

During my first pregnancy people often asked re the sex (we did not choose to find out til quite far along) and would comment that a girl would be lovely, "you could have a mini-me" etc

But I've never felt that way about a baby girl...I'm not the sort of person who would dress my daughter in a matching outfit to me (unless we were going to a fancy dress party!), or dress them head to toe in pink or put one of those headbands on them when still a tiny baby.

Maybe it's because they want the mother-daughter bond? Although this is never guaranteed!

I often think my strained relationship with my mother has made me wonder what having a girl would be like- and it gave me a scare!
Part of me feels much more comfortable having boys...but it's not something you can choose really is it?!

For some reason I really wanted my first child to be a girl! She was, now I also have 2 boys who are absolutely wonderful. They are different but both equally as great

I’ve noticed it the other way actually. People seem to comment that people are ‘lucky’ for having a boy, and there is a lot of praise around having an heir, etc. Do remember their are countries where having girls at all is seen as a failure (and here too in history, esp with Royals.) Mumsnet isn’t the majority of real life dealings

That wasn't my case at all. I never knew my dad or had a brother. To have a platonic relationship with a male was an amazing thing for me and very special, still is.

As @roomba said, I have known people say it's a 'shame' when they have another boy, (after having one or two already,) but cheer and celebrate when it's a girl.. even if the couple already have 1 or 2 girls.

I also know several women who cried for weeks at their 2nd or 3rd child being a boy, as they so desperately wanted a girl. Some of them got over it, and moved on, and treated their son with love and respect, but a few of them never recovered from the disappointment, and never really loved their boys(s.)

I have 2 girls, and not once has anyone ever said 'oh you must be disappointed to have not had a boy.' It's never happened. Yet, a number of my friends and colleagues who have more than one boy, have regularly had the 'awwww, what a shame' attitude from people who think it's such a shame they never had a girl.

I don't know why this is, but it is true that many people (women especially) want a daughter. (Even if people choose to deny this.)

As an aside, I know a few mothers who had one son ONLY, who are quite close to them, and seem happy with their boy. But when they have more than one boy, they don't seem hugely close to either one. You also get very bitchy comments about girls from some mothers with 2 or more boys.

It's a defence mechanism; they are badmouthing girls so people will think they don't like them, when in reality, they would have given their right arm to have had a daughter. I know this, because some mothers of boys that I have known have bitched about girls, and then later on, it has transpired that they secretly longed for a girl.....

When I was pregnant with my DD most people assumed I wanted a boy. I'm pregnant now and most people assume I want a boy.

I wanted a healthy child but if really pushed, I had a slight preference for a boy. I got my boy and he is gorgeous!

I have 2 girls, and not once has anyone ever said 'oh you must be disappointed to have not had a boy.' It's never happened

I’m surprised at that as it’s happened to me a lot (I also have 2 girls). Mainly the older generation that say it though.

Happy for you Lorelai .

Really? I felt quite a bit of pressure to produce a son actually

Don't know if relevant but I didn't have a preference until after having DD. It kicked in then, and I really craved a DS.

And I love them both loads.

I definitely felt the preference for a girl thing.

People have been quite openly rude to me about having a boy and how they much prefer girls. Right to my face whilst I'm with my son. It's very odd but extremely apparent. I've had to bite my lip a few times especially with one friend who says things like she would have been 'devastated' to have a boy Even my own mum said she would feel sorry for me if I didn't have a girl this time (pregnant with DC2 and don't know or care what I'm having!).

I have two boys and got fed up with the comments about ‘trying for a girl’. If my beautiful boys don’t fit in to your ridiculous idea of a perfect family then fuck off.

I could have written the post above, but with the sex reversed.

Before I got pregnant I thought I'd prefer a girl but elected not to know the sex during pregnancy. I was fairly convinced I was expecting a boy and was delighted that was the case. I would have been happy either way but he has certainly been the light of our lives and pretty easy to raise.

I've never noticed any preference IRL.

My DB fosters and has had a sister and brother in the past who time and time again (up for adoption) people wanted the little girl who was very cute and 'girly' but decided they couldnt bond with the (slightly older) boy He was a very jealous child as everywhere we went people word oo over his adorable two yr old sister but show no interest in her older brother who was often scowling and playing up to get attention his way no doubt. So it was just a vicious circle really.