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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?

390 replies

FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 14:03

We spent this morning installing a new fence in our front garden. After 4 hours of back-breaking labour, I was sweeping up when our neighbour comes out and says she's not happy because we've got the 'nicer' side of the fence facing our way and not hers. She actually wanted us to turn each panel round so the flat side was facing her garden.

I thought she was joking at first so sort of laughed it off but no, she was being serious. I just muttered something about 'speaking to my husband' and went indoors.

Have I made a misstep in neighbourly etiquette or something?!

OP posts:
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FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 19:05

Thank you for the interesting array of replies!

To clarify (as some posters perhaps didn't read my earlier posts) the fence is between our two front gardens and NOT facing any public areas.

There are concrete posts in which the panels slot. These posts were installed back when the properties belonged to the council. The concrete posts lie exactly on the boundary line.

There is nothing in our title deeds to say who is responsible for which fences.

This picture is not my fence but shows the style. We have the flat side of the panels facing us and the ledged side facing the neighbour.

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?
OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 27/01/2018 19:13

Oh flipping ech. Just be like my parents neighbours. They couldn't care less. They've put up a lovely fence each side and dumped the rubble in my parents garden more or less. They also dug up the bush in the front that had been there my whole life and built a walk, again leaving my parents side with mud up to their paved drive way. I thought you were responsible for one side and the neighbours the other side? So you could have at least one nice side. I've never heard of giving the neighbours the nice side, or ever had the nice side?

ForgivenessIsDivine · 27/01/2018 19:14

Dam, someone got there before me.... I wanted to say, 'I'm on the fence with this one.'.

Pinga · 27/01/2018 19:14

Im now going to be looking at garden fences whenever I can. I think its bizarre to say the nicer side should be on the outside/the neighbours side. You are paying for it. Its yours. Of course you get the nice side.

barefoofdoctor · 27/01/2018 19:21

The ugly side should face you. I had this issue with (utter scroate) neighbours in our respective council properties. They were made to remove the fence and install something more suitable and attractive on my side.

TheQueenOfWands · 27/01/2018 19:21

To be fair, our (neighbour's) fence is currently in bits after a storm and has been since before Christmas. I've been subtly hinting that they sort it so I can let my animals out for a few weeks now but they still haven't done it.

At this point I'd happily accept an asbestos panel with a satanic goat painted on it with human shit. The rough side of a naice new fence would be beyond gratefully received.

Cantspell2 · 27/01/2018 19:30

I have just paid over£800 for new fence panels and £300 for gravel boards. I still have to pay for it to be fitted so you can bet your arse I am going to have the nice side facing me.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 19:41

OP, I really wouldn't think about changing these fence panels around, unless you want to. I think what you have done is absolutely fine. At least you have taken responsibility and replaced an old, probably not fit for purpose fence with a nice new one. Your neighbour should be grateful. The other side of those fence panels is not unsightly at all and if your neighbour doesn't like it she could grow some plants.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 27/01/2018 19:42

We're half way through £2500 of gravel boards and fencing down 200 ft of garden. We've put ours inside our garden and left the original boundary (tree stumps and some wire) standing. Didn't want any boundary issues.
Yes I am getting the good side. Their garden is a hell hole (not their fault it was bad when they bought it) as is the one the other side that you can see through to. We have the good side. As pp's have said, if they want to run a 'good side' fence their side of the boundary then that is up to them!
Not stealth boasting btw just damned if we are going to spend all that money and they get the good side WTF? And even the bad side looks better than it was before.
Cant oh is doing ours thank god. It's not too bad to do really if you are physically able. But I feel your pain with labour on top.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 27/01/2018 19:44

Fucking hell. I can’t believe how wound up people get about this shit. I live in a new build and am shocked that our boundary fence is the less attractive side. You can bet your bottom dollar that if I’d paid to replace it, I’d have the nice side! Similarly, should my neighbour spend a fortune replacing theirs, i wouldn’t have the fucking nerve to complain. A new fence is a new fence.

No matter what the batshit unwritten rules are —that fucking lunatics make up as they go along and spout as fucking gospel— it’s way fucking ruder to demand someone rotates a fence that they paid for and spent all day installing.

DriggleDraggle · 27/01/2018 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ikanon · 27/01/2018 22:17

We organised 3 neighbour new fences last summer so our whole garden matches. Previous ones were crap/falling down. Of course we gave ourselves the good side! All that bloody work and sorting out the neighbours paying half? We reckoned we'd earned the good side! (Title deeds are silent on who owns what so split cosy equally by boundary)

Mybabystolemysanity · 27/01/2018 22:23

We're on a new development where all the fences face the same way till you get halfway up the street and then it changes so everyone has one nice side and one post side...

Except for us, because it's our house where it changes, so nice side all round 😀

dotdotdotmustdash · 27/01/2018 22:31

I think you're perfectly justified in having the good side given the type of fence you have.

The difficulty comes when it's a fence which is attached to one side of posts. I'm an avid reader of Gardenlaw site and the following seems to apply..

There is a legal assumption that you fence to the extent of your land.

If you put in posts and attach the panels 'good side to you' then you'll lose access to your land which is the width of the posts, maybe only 3-4 inches.

The neighbour can erect their own fence inside their land, but it's generally considered poor legal practice to replicate boundary features. The few inches in the middle would be lost to anyone.

If your neighbour chooses to grow plants, grass or pave they can easily incorporate those few inches and over time, you have probably lost them. It's not a big deal usually, but maybe your neighbour will choose to extend their property right up to boundary in future? the part which was yours is now theirs and the boundary has moved very slightly.

It's probably wisest in these cases to put the panels on the outside of the posts, even if they're less attractive.

greendale17 · 27/01/2018 22:42

I have always had the nice side of MY fences on my side

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 27/01/2018 22:59

NINE pages on fence etiquette.

Only on MN Grin

SD1978 · 27/01/2018 23:03

It’s a boundary fence- you can ask the neighbour to pay 50% of the cost if it needs replaced. Ultimately someone always ends up with the arse end. If it’s your fence, in your land, and doesn’t go in her land at all- I’d be telling her that she is welcome to erect another fence within her boundary, if it offends her.

dotdotdotmustdash · 27/01/2018 23:11

*NINE pages on fence etiquette.

Only on MN grin*

Nope, this is just a baby thread. Try Gardenlaw forum, there's years worth...

QueenArseClangers · 27/01/2018 23:13

Ha ha petbear! Look at that bloke on the photo you posted, he’s like a League of Gentleman character who’s obsessed by fences.

Are you really holding him up as a good example of neighbourly relations? Hmm

llangennith · 27/01/2018 23:16

Nope. The posts are inside my boundary and I get the nice side of the fence. If ndn want to attach panels to my posts their side they’re very welcome to do so. Neither of my ndn complained about my fencing: he who pays the piper calls the tune.

MissTFied · 27/01/2018 23:25

When we put up our fence we put the flat side facing outwards as it would make it harder for a burglar to scale the fence. We have the side with the horizontal beams facing inwards. We do border a footpath though.

Catatlarge · 27/01/2018 23:27

Round here if you replace the fence you own, you get the nice side facing you!

caringcarer · 27/01/2018 23:39

Your dn is right but she should have come out and mentioned it before it was completed. If she paid half she should definitely get best side out and post on your side.

Originalfoogirl · 27/01/2018 23:40

Everyone who says OP is in the right here, go outside and look at your own fences! Right side deffo faces out!

Nope. Nice side facing in on all three sides of the garden here. Our fence was put up by a developer.

There can’t be a definite rule/etiquette because of you have three different neighbours on three sides, at least one would always be going against the rule. If you pay for, the fence, you get the nice side.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 28/01/2018 00:53

I have the 'good'side on the left and right.I moved in last year and assumed that I was responsible for both sides so must look at the deeds.I would rather have the left fence belong to me as I would have posts my side to make it easier to attach clumping plants.Smoith or not I have a small garden so need to take advantage of any up space.