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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?

390 replies

FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 14:03

We spent this morning installing a new fence in our front garden. After 4 hours of back-breaking labour, I was sweeping up when our neighbour comes out and says she's not happy because we've got the 'nicer' side of the fence facing our way and not hers. She actually wanted us to turn each panel round so the flat side was facing her garden.

I thought she was joking at first so sort of laughed it off but no, she was being serious. I just muttered something about 'speaking to my husband' and went indoors.

Have I made a misstep in neighbourly etiquette or something?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Nanny0gg · 27/01/2018 17:51

There. Is. No. Law!!!

Who said there was?

There is convention which is clearly being changed.

petbear · 27/01/2018 17:51

Having the flush side on the inside, and the side with the posts (and so on,) facing outwards looks ridiculous.

It's not law, but it is an unwritten rule, and basic bloody common sense.

How ugly and stupid do these fences look?!

You would have to be a right plonker to make it look like this. It's pretty obvious, that the side that is 'less flush,' faces into your garden., and the flush/smooth side faces out. It's pretty pedantic, pathetic, and spiteful to say 'I paid for it, so I will have the nice/smooth/flush side facing MEEEEEE!'

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?
To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?
Jamiefraserskilt · 27/01/2018 17:52

Nope. Yanbu. as long as they are your side of the boundary These days, you pay, you have the nice side. I do not know if anyone who gives themselves the "other" side. All of my fences have nice side my side and the one belonging to my neighbour has the nice side his side. Ignore your neighbour and leave as is. It is not 1970.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 17:55

petbear - there is no unwritten rule. Read the thread people have very different views on this and it is pretty split down the middle on what people have done.

MyOtherProfile · 27/01/2018 17:55

It's pretty pedantic, pathetic, and spiteful to say 'I paid for it, so I will have the nice/smooth/flush side facing MEEEEEE!'

And the neighbour who didn't pay and yet is saying the nice/smooth/flush side should face MEEEEE is being selfless and normal?

Jamiefraserskilt · 27/01/2018 17:59

Just to add, a mate of ours put the nice side his side on his £3000 fence. The neighbours then out a fence up adjacent and parallel with his with the nice side their side. If your neighbour objects, she could always do this.

MaisyPops · 27/01/2018 17:59

I always thought the posts went on your side so the flat pannel was right up on the boundary.

If you keep the flat bit then surely either:

  1. You're putting the posts on your land so essentially the neighbour gains a few inches tp their garden
Or
  1. You're putting the flat bit on the boundary in which case the posts are in your neighbours's land.

All about boundaries, not about what looks nice.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 17:59

petbear - and the photographs you have put up are not the norm FGS. We have never made our neighbours garden look like that. Both times are neighbours have been delighted that we are replacing a damaged, old, rotten fence with a nice new one.

TellerTuesday4EVA · 27/01/2018 18:01

I must say I do think the posts are normally on your inner side. Ours is concrete posts & the panels slot inbetween so it looks the same on both sides.

We have a brick built outhouse built up to our boundary, when we had it done the NDN at the time had various hedges / shrubs etc so we built up to those, new NDN has taken away all the 'jungle' then felt the urge to knock on the door & tell me she's not happy with having the back of it in her garden. Obviously it's not IN her garden it's the boundary, they took the boundary on their side away, it sure WTF she wants me to do about it tbh

LaPampa · 27/01/2018 18:01

Probably been said already but I might have missed it. Most people want their fence to be right on the shared boundary and to achieve that the posts need to be on your side otherwise you either lose a small bit of garden or you are encroaching on your neighbour’s land. Both of which can become legal problems. So the way the fence faces is I guess convention but based on preventing legal issues.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 27/01/2018 18:08

Lol, etiquette about a fence, thats taking it too far

Agyne · 27/01/2018 18:10

Eeeeeek you've broken the fence etiquette unwritten rule Shock

petbear · 27/01/2018 18:20

And the neighbour who didn't pay and yet is saying the nice/smooth/flush side should face MEEEEE is being selfless and normal?

Yes. And the neighbour is also the more sensible and logical one.

From the fenceauthority.com

The finished side should face toward your neighbour. Not only is this more polite, but it's the standard. Your property will look a lot nicer with the “good” side facing the outside world. Otherwise, your fence will look like it was installed backwards.

As I said, you have got to be some special kind of plonker to install a fence with the inside facing out.

Any fence installer who agreed to do that, needs fucking sacking!

And those pics I put are NOT exaggerated, as someone suggested, that is what it will look like if you are selfish and daft enough to put your fence facing inside fucking out! It's just common sense FFS!

The views on here may be 'mixed,' but the ones saying it's OK to keep the flush side of the fence facing your house, are WRONG. It's not. It's inconsiderate, and it looks shit.

Rudgie47 · 27/01/2018 18:21

Say you have spoken to your husband but hes on the fence about it.

rednsparkley · 27/01/2018 18:25

When we paid for a new fence between us and the neighbours (deeds unclear about ownership) we put the nice side facing us as they were tightwads who refused to pay a penny towards it. No way were they getting the nicer view without contributing towards it.

Previous fence we had the shit view and they had the nice view. They haven't dared to mention it (or don't give a shit)

hibbledibble · 27/01/2018 18:30

Lol. Who knew people got so worked up about fences??!

When we replaced our fences I didn't even think of their being a nice side and a not so nice side.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 18:35

From the fenceauthority.com

is that a UK site?

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 27/01/2018 18:37

I don’t understand petbear’s photos! Surely if you have ended up with the less appealing side of the fence, you then have the opportunity to put up your own fence?

smackbangwhollop · 27/01/2018 18:40

FelicityMorange Weve just had our whole fence replaced after it blew down in the wind. I asked both the fencing company and my neighbour what was the correct way to go about it, The neighbour didn't mind; after all we were replacing a fence which was rotten and an eyesore that had partially collapsed. They were just happy to have a nice new fence. The Fencing company said the reason the nice side often faces the neighbour is purely for security. If you have the flat pretty side facing you it means the neighbour has easy access to climb the fence into your garden via the horizontal support poles. With the flat side facing the neighbour your (the person who paid) has a more secure property.

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 27/01/2018 18:42

Am I the only one heading out into the garden in the dark to check out my fence??

SoupDragon · 27/01/2018 18:46

it looks shit.

That rather depends on which side of the fence you are standing on.

SoupDragon · 27/01/2018 18:47

How ugly and stupid do these fences look?!

They look ugly and stupid because some idiot has stuck extra fencing on top, not because of which way round the panels are!

GetYourRocksOff · 27/01/2018 18:53

Builder husband - whoever pays gets the nice side.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 18:57

petbear - apologies if I am wrong but I don't think your quote from the fence authority is actually a UK site, it appears to be American but happy to be corrected if I am wrong.

You seem to be very dictatorial in your posts. Firstly, we do not have a law, unwritten rule or anything else in this country that states we have to do this one way or the other. I posted upthread a piece from Fence Laws that states very clearly that the way the fence faces is up to the homeowner who owns and replaces the fence.

Secondly, the fence installers did not agree to do the "nice" side facing into our garden, I asked their advice and that is what they said should happen. Like I said, I live on a long road and that is how everybody has done it so I don't think we are all WRONG but I do think there isn't a wrong or a right way of doing it. I think it is something you probably agree on with your neighbours.

I did not say you exaggerated the photos, I said they were not the norm. As I said we have replaced 2 rotten, unsightly fences with nice, new well erected fences and both neighbours have been very happy. Their gardens have not looked ...... as you so nicely put it...... like "shit" at all and definitely not like the photos you have posted. Both fences have cost well over £1,000 so I don't think we have been inconsiderate at all.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 18:58

They look ugly and stupid because some idiot has stuck extra fencing on top, not because of which way round the panels are!

Exactly right