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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?

390 replies

FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 14:03

We spent this morning installing a new fence in our front garden. After 4 hours of back-breaking labour, I was sweeping up when our neighbour comes out and says she's not happy because we've got the 'nicer' side of the fence facing our way and not hers. She actually wanted us to turn each panel round so the flat side was facing her garden.

I thought she was joking at first so sort of laughed it off but no, she was being serious. I just muttered something about 'speaking to my husband' and went indoors.

Have I made a misstep in neighbourly etiquette or something?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Butterymuffin · 27/01/2018 15:10

This is basically a great example of how social behaviour and etiquette have changed in recent decades. From 'nice side for the neighbours, protect your land ownership, be polite' to 'nice side for you, you're the buyer of the fence'. Grin

Nanny0gg · 27/01/2018 15:12

All of you saying the neighbour should get the nice side are talking hogwash.

Actually, no they're not. They are talking convention, because in days gone by, we were considerate towards our neighbours and if we were changing something for our convenience that impacted on them, we gave them the better deal. There are no laws, just thoughtfulness.

Obviously in this day and age consideration goes out of the window and you do what you like.

IntelligentYetIndecisive · 27/01/2018 15:14

Convention says show the nice side to the neighbour.

That's why those post and panel fences are so popular, both sides get a similar shit view.

StealthNinjaMum · 27/01/2018 15:14

I can't believe so many people are saying you should have the less attractive side. i have always heard the opposite that the person paying gets the nice side.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 27/01/2018 15:15

I bought a new house from the developers 20 plus years ago and queried this. It was a post and rail fence with vertical slats to cover the gaps. The convention for them was the higher priced house got the vertical slats on their side and the neighbours would get the post and rail side.

IMO if you’re paying you make the choice, I would put the best side to you, especially if you’re neighbour is renting as may not be a neighbors for long.

crunchymint · 27/01/2018 15:16

It is also has been pointed out, that you do not have the right to put posts on your neighbours land. So if you give yourself the nice side, the fence has to be slightly in your land more

WeAllHaveWings · 27/01/2018 15:17

it the fence is nailed into posts within your boundary, generally you put the nice side facing your neighbour so you don't lose some garden space. If you prefer the nice side and don't mind losing a couple of inches there is no law saying you cant do it what ever way you want.

if its slotting into concrete posts and you are paying its common sense to have the nice side facing you.

there is no "etiquette" regarding fencing Hmm

NorbertTheDragon · 27/01/2018 15:18

Fences have a nice side and a not so nice side? Those dirty two faced double crossing bastards. Grin

I didn't even know this. Our neighbour replaced his fence. It looks like a fence to me. Maybe it looks different from his side? Spectacularly beautiful perhaps? I don't care, fences aren't something I give much thought too. I think sometimes people just like something to moan about.

BakedBeans47 · 27/01/2018 15:19

Nanny0gg

But it’s only a fence! How much of an “impact” can it have? Or do you generally do home improvements for the benefit of your neighbours?

crunchymint · 27/01/2018 15:19

Yes there is etiquette regarding fencing.

c3pu · 27/01/2018 15:23

In my road, everybody has the "nice side" facing them from the side of the boundary they are responsible for the upkeep of.

The effect is still the same though, one nice side and one not so nice 😂

ADarkandStormyKnight · 27/01/2018 15:25

Is it even your fence? I believe I am responsible for the fence on the left as I look out to my back garden, while the neighbour is responsible for the one to her left. I was told that normally you can tell which fence you are responsible for because the posts will be on your side.

ScipioAfricanus · 27/01/2018 15:26

If everyone is considerate, then each person will have one nice side and one nasty side. If everyone is inconsiderate, the same will happen. The problem at the moment is that everyone used to give the nice side to neighbours, so if the new neighbours decide to keep the nice side for themselves, some piece are going to end up with two nasty sides.

I thought that one party always owned the fence, according to whose boundary it was in? I live in semidetached Victorian houses, and my neighbour on the left owns his fence and I own the one on the right (put in by previous owners with ugly great concrete posts on our side). If this is the case, we will all want to keep the ugly side on our fence, because otherwise we will lose an increment of garden to the neighbours as will still have to have posts on our own land. I didn’t know it was possible that both sides own the fence and are responsible for it’s upkeep.

Ilikecheesycrackers · 27/01/2018 15:32

Where do these rules come from? I have never heard of this!

Am now glad that our garden has walls not fences thereby avoiding the situation of our inadvertently making a fence faux pas...

MiaowTheCat · 27/01/2018 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crunchymint · 27/01/2018 15:33

These rules have been around for decades and decades

Vitalogy · 27/01/2018 15:34

I've got one side with slot in panels, so looks the same either way. Then the other side was partly done by neighbour, I have the not so neat side. They didn't have to come in to our garden doing it that way, couldn't have done it the other way, too many shrubs our side anyway. Then we had part of it done and specifically asked for post side as to deter next doors kids from climbing.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/01/2018 15:34

My neighbours gave me the worse side and I thought it was rude as it goes against etiquette. It seems etiquette is being flaunted though to a more animal farm approach as per Allgirls post where the property developers gave the priciest houses the nicest side. Wink. I didn’t say anything to the neighbours obvs. That would be rude and so not british.

You’ve only replicated what was originally there - ie nice side of the fence facing in, so I don’t think you are being rude and in your place, I would also tell her to stick it.

Shadow666 · 27/01/2018 15:37

Your neighbors are free to erect their own fence with the nice side facing in if they want.

HolyMountain · 27/01/2018 15:38

Can we have a picture OP?

SleepFreeZone · 27/01/2018 15:38

Turn round every other panel so you get a share of the ugly and nice side. Job done.

Moanaohnana · 27/01/2018 15:40

Wait, have I done my curtains wrong too and the patterns should be facing out the way for the neighbours to enjoy...?!

Grin
Branleuse · 27/01/2018 15:42

my neighbour put a new fence up last year. Can see posts from both sides, but ive deffinitely got the inside of the fence and theyve got the neater side. Seems fine to me. I assume that you have the nice side on the side thats your responsibility, and the not so nice side if its the neighbours side.

It honestly makes no difference because otherwise it would be the other way round, but youd still have one inside side and one outside side

Brighteyes27 · 27/01/2018 15:44

We went half with both lots of neighbours and got double sided fencing.

SlothMama · 27/01/2018 15:45

If you've paid and put them in then you get the nice side