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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not acquiesce to neighbour's request?

390 replies

FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 14:03

We spent this morning installing a new fence in our front garden. After 4 hours of back-breaking labour, I was sweeping up when our neighbour comes out and says she's not happy because we've got the 'nicer' side of the fence facing our way and not hers. She actually wanted us to turn each panel round so the flat side was facing her garden.

I thought she was joking at first so sort of laughed it off but no, she was being serious. I just muttered something about 'speaking to my husband' and went indoors.

Have I made a misstep in neighbourly etiquette or something?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
FelicityMorange · 27/01/2018 14:35

BoomBoomsCousin My neighbour's house belongs to a housing association, and when we rang them to check ownership they told us it was our responsibility. The old fence was severely damaged by recent storms.

Nothing on title registry or deeds about who is responsible for any of our fences.

OP posts:
Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 27/01/2018 14:35

Ime fences bring out the worst in neighbours!! We replaced a 2 ft one when our and next doors dogs kept garden hopping - we had the nice side, she attacked it with a claw hammer!! Solicitor got involved. No mention of who got the nice side!! They moved soon after and she nailed bunting to it during the night!!

retirednow · 27/01/2018 14:36

I have googled the fence law uk, there is no law to say who gets what side and the person paying for it has the choice. Also you cannot paint or stain a neighbour's fence without their permission.

Butterymuffin · 27/01/2018 14:37

If you've just replaced panels using the existing posts which were already facing that way, then tough shit. You were hardly going to turn them all round to advantage someone else, were you? I'd use the 'we just kept it the way it already was, you'd never mentioned any problem before' defence.

OverwhelminglyCrap · 27/01/2018 14:37

Papergirl1968 - if you don't own it you can't paint it without your neighbour's permission because it's his property.

I'm surprised that you needed telling that you can't paint something belonging to someone else - particularly when doing so actually makes his side of HIS fence lool crap... 🤔

Butterymuffin · 27/01/2018 14:37

DeFENCE. Grin

retirednow · 27/01/2018 14:38

If the housing assoc. Said it was your responsibility she can get stuffed, she has a brand new fence for free, let her complain.

Pinga · 27/01/2018 14:39

Nicer side facing you because its your fence. She gets to have the nicer side of the fence on her boundary side. Im really surprised to see people saying otherwise.
Why buy something and give the nicer bit to other people?

Charismam · 27/01/2018 14:39

I never knew this.

I wouldn't complain though, if there was a fence at all. I mean what was there before? Is she not glad that now there's a new fence?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/01/2018 14:40

I'm really glad ours didn't cause any hassle. We quite like our neighbour, they hardly bother us, or we them!

We had workmen standing in their back yard for almost a month, they did like the extra light but we were all glad to get our privacy back.

Having said that we did discuss it with them before, during and after. We also had some small repairs on their side of the boundary done at our cost - the issues couldn't be seen until the fence came down. We asked their opinion on a few things, let them choose the type of hinges/handles on the gate (they have emergency access through our garden). It was all really civilised!

strugglingtodomybest · 27/01/2018 14:42

I'm looking at our fence now and I don't even know if it's the nice side or not, I don't think I've ever noticed that fences aren't the same on both sides. Every day's a learning day on MN!

Papergirl1968 · 27/01/2018 14:48

Really didn’t know I wasn’t meant to paint someone else’s fence. Am embarrassed and feeling guilty now Blush

Tinty · 27/01/2018 14:51

I think you only have the "bad" side facing your garden if your fence faces a road. That is to supposedly stop people climbing your fence and getting into your garden and also so that it looks nice from the road.

Fences between properties surely it is up to the person who puts up and pays for the fence, which side they have in their property.

ShastaTrinity · 27/01/2018 14:54

If the fence is on the boundary line, why couldn't you paint it?
I suppose if you are picky you could argue that if a fence is not in your property, you could put your your own next to it, and chose the colour. However, the neighbour cannot dictate the colour of something that is in your garden.

emmcan · 27/01/2018 14:55

When erecting a fence on a property boundary, the party erecting the fence should put the 'nice' side on the outer facing.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 27/01/2018 14:57

The posts are on your neighbour's side of the shared boundary. She absolutely can force you to remove them; whether you wish to "acquiesce" or not. The fence being your responsibility is nothing to do with it whatsoever.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 14:57

OP, when we had our fence redone we were told the person paying for the fence has the nice side. That is coming from a company who install fences.

OddBoots · 27/01/2018 14:59

Oh, if it is just panels that slide between posts that are already there then leave them be, it isn't on your neighbour's land.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 27/01/2018 14:59

They're wrong.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/01/2018 15:00

When erecting a fence on a property boundary, the party erecting the fence should put the 'nice' side on the outer facing. Why?

It is NOT the law!

Tensecondrule · 27/01/2018 15:01

All of you saying the neighbour should get the nice side are talking hogwash. We have responsibly for the fence on our right hand side according to our deeds, so we paid to have it replaced...therefore we get to have the side facing us that we choose. Tell her to do one OP!

Thiscantreallybehappening · 27/01/2018 15:02

just to add, all the road has followed that rule. If it is your fence and you are paying for it you have the nicer side. Most of our road have now replaced fences, we have all had different people doing it and everybody has followed this rule.

Eggzandbacon · 27/01/2018 15:03

We split the cost with a neighbour but we did the work so we got the nice side!
If they don't like it they can put another fence over their side - CF

crunchymint · 27/01/2018 15:06

Yes the correct etiquette is nice side towards the neighbours.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 27/01/2018 15:09

Our neighbours have given us the posts and struts which is okay but they've left all the sticky labels on the metal bits (18 of them) which pisses me off. They've also put railings out the front which (a) don't match the railings on our other side so when we put ours in, which we plan to, we'll have to have an "odd" railing on one side and (b) it's on our side of the boundary! (We have different surfaces). They haven't put any along the front, just this one side. Luckily we get on really well but I really wished they'd spoken to us first.