To think that sime homeowners regard themselves as superior to renters?

[malificent7]

Not all by any means but im a bit fed up of the 'well i work hard and lived off baked beans for 10 years.'
Well i work hard but cant save a penny as there isnt enough cash to stretch.
I find it hard to muster any enthusiasm when a friend shows me around the latest extension and starts talking about house values.
i just cannot relate.
Yes of course im envious but i made bad decisions when younger due to bad mental health issues.
I also feel like my ex friendship group split into homeowner/ non homeowner groups...maybe they have more in common although i do work longer hours....its just i dont live with a nain breadwinner atm.
Ive also been told by friends that i SHOULD get a mortgage...
I mean why SHOULD i if i cant afford it?
One friend said that homeowners take better care of their property...generalisation.

I feel sad as i find so many people money orientated..and snooty with it.

Some ...not sime!!

Turn into a duck and find some water. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, some will complain. They aren't worth a second thought.

Anyone that's uttered the phrase 'I wouldn't waste all that money on renting' need to be shipped off to an deserted island.

I think maybe it's your own feelings about your own situation thats colouring your view. You say yourself you're envious. Sure there are arseholes everywhere, but hopefully they are not the majority of people you know.

Focus on what you have, not what others have. That way you won't feel envious and bad.

Yanbu the class system is supposed to be obsolete but it's really just changed into homeowners or non homeowners

It's up there with the phrase, rent is just dead money. Really grinds my gears

I do understand the I worked hard mentality. I bought a wreck age 21 when 100% mortgages were around (I know, lucky to be in a place to buy then). Since then I've extended the lease on the flat, lived through it while it gets repaired but by bit, scrimped and saved for every last thing, bought it again when I got divorced and had to pay off the ex. Renting sucks I get that and I don't for one minute think you don't work hard, but this flat is the hardest graft and biggest money pit I have ever known. As for looking down on renters, no. I don't even know or care if most of my acquaintance own or rent.

I don't know about superior, but certainly different. If you own a house, it matters to you in a way that a rented house can't and therefore, you have things in common with other home owners that renters don't. Likewise, the concerns renters might have are shared by other renters but not by home owners.

It's interesting and I have no idea why it would happen, but even little children form groups along these lines. I worked in a school that was about 50% council (or ex-council now privately let) and 50% owners. The private estates here are still predominantly owner occupied. The children's friendships split along those lines, even for the ones whose parents weren't at the school gates i.e. it wasn't just about who their parents were friends with.

The same thing happened when I was at school. I was at school where most children were council house kids, when most renters had a council house. We had a privately owned house. Looking back, all my friend's parents owned their homes. They were well spread, so it's not like we were all neighbours, but something made us gravitate together.

I agree with you OP.

I would be pleased to be able to buy my own home-for stability and security - not having to worry about moving on a LL'a whim. But like you, due to bad decisions, lack of planning and relationship break up I will never be able to do so.

But people often say I should think about buying somewhere. As if it's something I'd never thought of. And then I get the 'renting is a waste of money' 'what will you do when you retire?' monologue.

Like you I admit to some envy and regret although have no problem at all with the concept of renting, just wish it was a bit better regulated.

There are pros and cons to both but whether you rent or have a mortgage doesn't make you superior. Renting works for many who need to be flexible, , owning works for many who need stability. A large part of what you can own depends on luck and when you buy. My brother who is a few years older than me was lucky to get on the property ladder when he was around 21 and now has a fantastic property in a lovely area. We did not buy until our early thirties but lucky that we got on the ladder when we did.
Home owners struggle when they hit pension age if they can't afford to keep up with maintainence and repairs.
The problem currently is rents in many areas being so extortionate and people just not being able to save a deposit.

Superior, no. More fortunate and better off, yes. If you can get a mortgage it's a better option than renting because you own the property and the amount of dead money lost in interest is less than the amount of dead money lost in rent. Homeowners probably do take better care of their property because it's theirs so it's worth spending money on it and doing maintenance, as opposed to a rented house which is the landlord's responsibility (who probably wants to minimise his expenditure) and there's no point in the renter spending any money on it.

Of all the things I have in common (and don't have in common as the case may be) with friends - hobbies and sports, political views, art and music tastes, ethnic and cultural background and experiences, traveling experiences, work and volunteering background, kids of similar ages, having grown up together or having family or long time friend connections, and any number of other things - the idea that I would consider myself 'different' to any of them based on owning or renting and therefore the extent to which a property 'matters' to each of us is just ridiculous.

To think 'homeowner' would be such a prominent aspect of someone's sense of self that it influences who they're friends with... They must have little else going on. And as for childhood friendship groups splitting along those lines... It's either coincidence, or it's the result of having disgustingly shallow and uninteresting parents who derive their sense of belonging from whether they make their payments to a landlord or a bank.

As others have said, not superiority, just fifferent.
Renters have advantage of being able to move around more easily, no repair bills etc.but have to keep up monthly rent even after retirement.
Homeowners pay off mortgage after peroid of time and don’t have that financial outlay by retirement ( hopefully.
I can see positives for both though.

As usual with this kind of thread , the advice is simple. Find real friends not snobby arseholes.

Same as the ' to think all men are idiots' - no, just the one you have sex with. Change it.

I can see your point a bit.

I know someone who recently bought a 1.5 million property and 'kept' their previous one to rent out. This means they had at least 150,000 in cash to put down on their new one (probably far more) without having to sell a house. However they bang on (uninvited) about how they had their share of grubby flats when younger etc (they are only early 40s) as though this kind of thing is just what you get it you manage to get a foot on the ladder and are savvy with your money. That's not the reason, the reason is their husband is a high earner. And their first morgage was 100% in a good area so they made a lot. Some people don't want to admit they have been fortunate and want to pretend everyone could have what they have if they just tried harder. Maybe they feel a bit guilty and it makes it easier, who knows.

I'd like to buy a house but would need to save up another 18k minimum, probably 23k. Almost impossible given just over a third of our income is spent on rent. Doesnt stop her telling me I should really think about buying.

Sounds like you associate with the wrong people.

I wouldn't know which of our friends rented and which owned. We've had a mortgage for our entire adult lives but it wouldn't occur to me to ask someone "do you rent?" Can't see how that is at all relevant to anything.

When we moved we rented for nearly a year and I must say that when the shower broke it was a joy to call the agents and get it fixed at no cost to us, rather than wait for DH to get around to fixing it.

YANBU. 'Oh are you still renting?' was the one that really got me. It might be a UK thing though.

Loads of people rent in other countries and it never seems to be considered 'as bad'.

I don't know or care whether many of my friends own or rent.

If it is the case that owners look down on renters, then surely this view will change in time, it's getting harder to get on the property ladder?

As for the retirement argument, you could ask many owner the same thing, so many people bought and took interest only mortgages on the basis that house prices would keep on rising and rising, they were going to sell up and use the equity to downsize when the time came, or switch to repayment when they had more money. Prices haven't risen as much as people thought they would.

Is it just one or two freinds that make comments op? Odly enough it's not somthing that comes up in conversation among people that I hang out with.

Gosh ...when i eas 21 i was seriously ill after an abusive relationship with not a bean to my name. Having dropped out of uni my priority was to survive. I had no concept of home ownership.

I would not know which of my friends rent or own, except from one set of renters who whinge about not affording to buy a house. They earn more than me, have 2 cars and big holidays - and have had for the past 20 years.

So I'm not surprised, but tend to change the subject - otherwise it does become "I ate beans and noodles, slept on a mattress on the floor and walked everywhere - but I was 20 years younger then - without kids"

I also hate being told i should uproot my entire life ( and more to the point...dds life) in order to buy....no i dont want ti move up North again.
Nowt wrong with up North...i was a student in Liverpool... but my life is here now.

YANBU. We’ve recently bought, but only because we had a lot of family help. It simply wouldn’t of been possible without. Scratch under the service and a lot of the “I ate beans” brigade actually didn’t, they did have help*

*i know there are a lot of people who bought without any help, but most of the people I know did in fact have a lot of help with their deposit

Well yes, SOME homeowners feel superior. So do SOME married people/unmarried people/parents/non parents/high earners/low earners.

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, especially given your history, but I do think this is largely a case of seeing things not as they are, but as you are.

Wealth is a funny thing though. Given the infinite number of different ways people can gain it, lose it and spend it, it can be really hard (if not impossible) to know what people's financial situations are like just by looking at how they live.

If it is the case that owners look down on renters

I've genuinely never met anyone who does. Most folks have rented at some point. So I've no idea who the op is socialising with. Yes it's different renting to owning, but everyone knows renters are paying a huge amount more than the comparable home owner next door, and don't have an appreciating asset to call their own at the end. That's not an easy situation or one many would chose. Home owners have the issue of maintaining their asset and the associated costs.

Both home ownership and renting comes with its own challenges.

As the op has stated she's envious, potentially that's colouring her view of what she perceives others to think of her and they think no such thing.